Nonduality (/\)
Archive 3
Archive Home
February 7, 2000: Classic
Confession, by Larry Biddenger
February 8, 2000: Only when
feeling is absent, "That" appears as pure
radiance; by Jan Barendrecht
February 11, 2000: Rumi,
contributed by Terry Murphy
February 12, 2000: Please, No
More Clowns, by uarlove and Jerry
February 13, 2000: Beneath the
Glass Floor, by Kristi Shelloner and Terry Murphy
February 14, 2000: Compassion
Begins With Acknowledgement of Suffering, by Gloria Lee
February 14, 2000: Delight in the
Splendor of the Manifested Form, by Christiana Duranczyk
February 15, 2000: On The Wing of
Spiritual Birds, by O.H.
February 16, 2000: The
Transfiguration of the Mind, by Pieter Schoonheim Samara
February 17, 2000: Book Review:
How About Now?
February 19, 2000: Tears of 'I
AM', by Manchine and Umbada
February 20, 2000: The Internet
and Awakening, by Melody Anderson, et. al.
February 20, 2000: Manchinery:
Selections from the Email of Manchine
February 21, 2000: The Wide End
of the Cone is 'I AM', by Gene Poole
February 22, 2000: When the Sense
of Bliss Transforms into Yuck, by Jan Barendrecht
February 23, 2000: Follow Your
Fascinations, by Melody Anderson
February 25, 2000: When a
Follower, Follow the Heart, by Jan Barendrecht
February 26, 2000: What is
Satsang?, by Xan, Larry, and Jerry
February 27, 2000: A Lullabye, by
Manchine and Umbada
February 28, 2000: MO and More
MO, by the Reciprocality Project
February 29, 2000: Dreaming a
Life, by Gene Poole
February
7
Classic
Confession
by Larry Biddenger
Today it happened. I
finally got it. Nothing special, just being here. So
simple. Yesterday it was an idea, today it's real.
Amazing! It is absolutely incredible something so simple
could take so long. I owe you all so much. It wouldn't
have happened without each and everyone of you. Thank you
all and thank you again and again. And especially thank
you xan. You brought it home to me and I will be forever
grateful. I love you all so much I'm going to start
crying again. It's just a beginning of course. A
beginningless and endless beginning. Just so.
Thank you all again and again.
Larry: Jan,
you seem to be saying two deaths are better than one,
correct?
Jan: Not really. In terms of Rosicrucianism and
the N.T., the first death is the death of the
"I" which is the "esoteric" meaning
of the N.T.; from birth (enlightenment, the birth of
Christ) to resurrection (rising from the death of
"I"). The second death refers to the
dissolution of "non-essentials" that remain,
for instance compassion_as_feeling; the complete
dissolution of all qualities is unavoidable as Self is
without any.
Larry: However, I still don't understand what dies. If
there is no "I" then death and everything else
is inconsequential. If there is an "I" then the
"I" continues, doesn't it? So is death just a
scary movie or what? Seems like the only real death is
the death of the "I" which seems like the last
thing we want to give up. But then again, why should we?
Jan: For a nondualist, there are no others so what dies
are your feelings. One's loved one at age 20 looks a bit
different at age 50 but one doesn't love her/him less for
it; hardly anyone can be known better as a truly loved
one, "no separation" and the usual lingo but
when suddenly her/his life force leaves... tears probably
will flow abundantly, irrespective of that lingo; one's
feelings are what is dying. Identifying with feeling
(like the "I") results in dying with it...
The "I" could be called a magnifying glass. It
makes it possible to enlarge a little meaningless flesh
wound to a life endangering contagious infection for
someone who is fearful, and to belittle random killing of
innocent civilians as if flattening flies, by persons
labeled war criminals. Also, to magnify the importance to
material goods so out of proportion that in New Scientist
one could read that what a huge meteor impact meant for
the dinosaurs, humans will mean for the planet...
For a youth, the death of the "I" is a myth:
instead, shortly before *the* event it is likely a
strong, spontaneous notion of rebirth will emerge and
because of that, the thought will arise "no birth
without death". For those aged 40+, the matter will
be very different because of the "load of
crap", gathered around the "I"; dissolving
feelings will give the impression of dying, whether
feelings concerning "I", "others" or
"properties" (so called mid-life crisis). A
proficient yogi of course will know that feelings are
nothing but pranic currents and for such a one, there is
no obstacle as the proper course of action will be
undertaken...
Without the "I", means that the root of
suffering has been extracted and that is the sole reason
for "stopping the wheel". Perception has become
"as is" which includes feelings and those
generated by perception. Strictly speaking, the end of
"progress" as knowledge of one's real nature is
complete and one can live a 100% satisfactory life,
knowing to "end" as *That*. This
"end" is nothing else but the death of
"pure" feelings, leaving *That* as the
undifferentiated substratum. This the so called
"second death"; when it is seen that it is but
the end of pranic currents disguised as feelings, for the
resourceful and energetic yogi it is possible to advance
this second death and what is "left" could be
symbolized by the image of Shakti, dancing on the
insentient body of Shiva; the immovable Self and mind as
Power.
Larry: Jan, thanks for your very thought
provoking reply concerning the death or end of
"I". One more question, if I may. If all
feeling is "dissolved", what is the good of
"That"?
Jan: There's a little known secret about
perception; only when feeling is absent, "That"
appears as pure radiance, yet transparency itself and It
is far "better" than just good :)
From another perspective, anything that can be called
feeling, is something one will get used to. But it is
impossible to get used to "no feeling"; it is
ever the same yet never boring... An impossible paradox.
From still another perspective, when all feelings are
considered the same, when one is neither attached nor
detached to any of them, in the course of events,
differentiation halts and they will arise no more. The
undoing of all identifications, a very logical and simple
but rather rewarding "practice" ...
For a Bhakta, it is relatively easy to see that love is
the substratum of all feelings but when there is nothing
but love, differentiation halts. To me, is has been clear
from the onset (the recognition) that one's real nature
isn't a feeling. Recognition is simplicity itself,
possible for a young child. Taking the consequences,
physical and spiritual maturity (no "I") should
coincide, between age 20...30. Sentient life with
"pure" feelings could be enjoyed then and
midlife would bear the sign of the undoing the last
identification. Thus, society would be based on
"That" as it probably was taught to mankind at
the beginning of the satya-yuga.
February
11
Rumi
contributed
by Terry Murphy
*what's
not here*
I start out on this road, call it
*love* or *emptiness. I only know what's
not here: resentment seeds, back-
scratching greed, worrying about out-
come, fear of people. When a bird gets
free, it doesn't go back for remnants
left on the bottom of the cage! Close
by, I'm rain. Far off, a cloud of fire.
I seem restless, but I am deeply at ease.
Branches tremble; the roots are still.
I am a universe in a handful of dirt,
whole when totally demolished. Talk
about *choices* does not apply to me.
While intelligence considers options,
I am somewhere lost in the wind.
February
12
Please, No More
Clowns
by uarlove
and Jerry
Uarelove
writes: Given a choice between those sages in whose
living physical presence I have been in: Nome, Russ,
Papaji, Vernon Howard, Muktananda, Osho (Rajneesh), Satya
Sai Baba, Pir Vilayat, J. Krishnamurti, Gangaji, Ranjit
Maharaj, etc. and those spiritual teachers and sages who
I have only heard about and read about (too numerous to
list) my first choices for living sages who I wish to be
in satsang with are Nome and Russ. Who do I have the
least doubt about as far as living sages? The answer is
Russ and Nome. Who do I think is the greatest threat to
"my" ego notion? Russ and Nome.
Jerry: The greatest threat to my ego is moment
to moment realization that I am suffering some
free-floating hurt or that I am having a great time or
that all is well. Every moment is a threat to my ego.
Every day I'm hooked on thousands of reminders that I'm
not really free. All I can do is let them be taken-up by
the Source, which is the place where attention has to be
as often as possible and with the greatest intensity
possible.
Radical Satsang is enjoyment of the company of Truth,
nothing more; it is not supposed to be a reminder of
egoity. Satsang today, in current times, is partially
enjoyment of the company of Truth but mostly
psychotherapy of some sort.
Satsang is evolving. Some day we'll go to Satsang and
nobody will have any questions. There are such Satsangs,
but they don't make for good books or videos. I hold them
many times a day and nobody comes, or maybe there will be
one person in my arms and we'll breathe together.
Get to the point where you go to Satsang only to be
there, not to bring in the clowns. Your room's full of
them. You know the song.
February
13
Beneath the
Glass Floor
by Kristi Shelloner and Terry Murphy
Kristi:
I think life events that cause us to question, not
God, but our own innate goodness and innocence....WHERE
THAT IS NOT WARRANTED, do such damage to our capacity to
trust that it damages our capacity to heal. One cannot
heal unless one can trust.
The "psychology of the wounded" as Bruce calls
it, is defined by this one central wound. Every soul who
walks the streets or grieves alone at night, or is
stricken by irresolveable confusion and internal conflict
suffers from a loss of memory of what trust is. This is
what it means to be beneath the glass floor. To live
somehow within sight of the way things are supposed to
be, to see the movement and the motion, of the metaphoric
places we once walked, to be invisibly shielded and kept
away from "normalcy" and to be able to see it
all but not participate, not remember how...this is the
character of the wound of the soul.
We pay so much attention to glass ceilings...those
invisible barriers to promotion, but we are so innured to
the presence of a glass floor....upon which so many wise
people walk with wisdom and surety, oblivious to the
presence of those they walk across. Unconditional
acceptance, a loving glance, kind and quiet presence,
these alone open a window in the floor through which a
wounded presence might ascend, and then walking again,
might find it useful to know about such
"higher" practices and insight as not needing
someone to open a window.
Terry: I am reminded of an old dylan song, where
he sings, "In a soldier's stance, I aim my lance at
the mongrel dogs who teach, fearing not I become my enemy
in the instant that I preach." And the refrain is,
"Ah but I was so much older then, I'm younger than
that now."
I bring up the song because, firstly, I don't want to
preach at anyone here myself, and become such a mongrel
dog, such a hypocrite and become what I preach against.
Secondly, I am, as I think a few of us are, continuously
bemused at the way people who seem to have been
enlightened and really know what the truth is can sink to
the level of *obvious* egoistic argumentation, and that
ironically and dualistically, I might add. Bemused
because it all sounds so right so much of the time, and
is so wrong at the same time. Just what is it that is
going on here, what is the problem?
Early on (in my presence on the list) I brought up the
idea of post-enlightenment practice. By that I meant
compassion and so forth, the things kristi would like to
see. I also mentioned surprise at the way concepts were
treated on this list as effective tools, and words, even
though we presumably, most of us, have experienced the
non-conceptual and non-verbal nature of nonduality.
So I watch this fight between kristi's view, which
appears to be that people who are 'wounded in the soul'
need 'love' from people, not concepts; and bruce's
contentions that, if you root around in a garbage can you
are bound to be covered with garbage, so just get out of
the can. And I begin to get an inkling of the problem.
Though I'm not sure that anyone wants to actually solve
the problem, I think to grasp clearly what is going on
could be helpful for those of us who are bemused by it,
so I'd like to throw in two cents, without either solving
the problem or preaching to either side about how they
ought to act.
Kristi: Is this so hard to understand? Is it
really so difficult for the transcended, enlightened
spirits of the universe to understand that their way is
not the way for many who are climbing, and that the whole
point of their wisdom and grace is to know enough to find
the language that communicates to the person in need of
insight....not to badger them with concepts that worked
for the enlightened one, but may not be of a time and
place for the one in need... to fit the teaching to the
lesson that is asked for?
Terry: I think one problem here is that one size
does not fit all when it comes to genuine enlightenment.
I am by no means convinced that anyone can be directly
helped to achieve awakening; in this world full of
awe-inspiring coincidences, those who are ready for
enlightenment may or may not be around people or things
with which they associate that enlightenment. That is,
you may find yourself with or without a teacher when you
are ready to grasp the simple truth, but the presence or
absence of a teacher may have little to do with it. Of
course, it might help, as a midwife or doctor is handy to
have around when you are having a baby; but having a baby
is a natural process and can be done by oneself.
Another relevant idea is that 90% of communication is
nonverbal, and we are stuck with the 10% which is
predominantly conceptual, using email. If you come to a
concept store you are likely to walk out with an armload
of concepts, that's all we have here, even if we love you
very much, and know your soul as though it were our own.
Kristi: The lesson that is ALWAYS asked for...by
one in need, by one in torment, by one in grief or
confusion, is TO BE LOVED. To be understood. To be Seen.
It is for those who know of their wholeness and who know
that they need NOT be seen by others to know of their
wholeness....to share that with others who do need to be
seen by SEEING THEM. This is all you must do. Disclaiming
knowledge is not teaching. Castigation is not teaching.
Pointing out flaws is not teaching. Judgement is not
teaching. Derision is not teaching. Seeing is teaching.
Seeing renews the capacity to trust. Seeing is healing.
To See beyond someone's suffering, not by refuting it or
denying it,or arguing with it, but by seeing that which
is whole, where a suffering brother sees only that which
is broken....is to heal. To see what is broken and
reflect that and give power to that only makes receipt of
the teaching of wholeness more difficult.
If you love me you will understand me. If you understand
me you will love me.If you love me and understand me you
will heal me and then I will have no more need of your
love and understanding, but will in turn have love and
understanding to share. If one has not learned this
lesson then one has no authority to claim enlightenment
or enlightenment has no meaning and no purpose except to
aggrandize the ego.
Terry: Even if I love you and understand you
that may not communicate itself to you. The problem here
is that, in order for any wounded human beings to
appreciate love and understanding from others, they must
have love and understanding themselves already. (Is this
so hard to understand? Yes, of course it is!)
Here you have, say, two people, one is wounded and the
other is whole, and the wounded one wants help, wants
love and understanding. What they get a person who
honestly and legitimately is trying to communicate that
this wounded person must find this love and understanding
within themselves! Only if the receiver loves and
understands the giver, can she receive the gift.
Paradoxically, if you have the love and understanding to
receive the gift of love and understanding from another,
you don't need the gift in the first place; another
demonstration that there is only one soul among us, if
that.
No matter how much a person believes that what they need
is to be loved and understood, what they really need is
to love and understand. It is not *being loved* which is
the key to happiness and freedom and peace, but *loving*
itself, being loving. If you were to understand that
these dealers in concepts are doing their own level best
to get across to you and to others what they think will
help, in genuine love (not the self-aggrandizing egotism
that you are seeing), the your love would make it all
clear to you, and even their concepts would make sense.
This can be so confusing, Kristi, because many times if a
person behaves in a kind and understanding manner, then
love is actually engendered; the love which is then felt
by the wounded one for the 'healing one' is what helps
the wounded one, *not* the love given them by the healer.
Jesus would carefully explain, while healing a person,
'It is by *your* faith that I do this." It was not
jesus' love which healed, but the love and faith and
credence in jesus that the wounded one had which did the
trick.
The wounded person who is under that glass floor, and has
lost their faith, who is full of doubt; this person is
not rescued or helped by the love or example of another,
but only by the love within themselves that finally
breaks through. Most of us who have experienced
enlightenment or awakening have been through just this
experience of seeing utter meaninglessness and
lovelessness, and when we reach bottom totally and
completely give up, then suddenly the sun appears, within
ourselves. But if we are told this but someone who knows,
it does no good; the concepts, while perfectly true and
readily understandable by those who have been through it,
are just concepts to the one enmeshed in doubt and
despair. If they are treated with love and kindness, this
may only prolong their agony. One who is enlightened may
be telling you the painful truth,. be giving you no
comfort at all, and be actually full of lovingkindness
for you, but you just won't get it! You may be receiving
love and understanding in a form you cannot recognize,
but that does not necessarily make it useless. Sometime
in the future, when the light has dawned, when you have
shattered the glass for yourself, you may look back and
see that people were in all kindness doing the best they
could for you.
Out of my two cents, that was the first penny, for kristi
and the wounded with whom I deeply sympathize, the
victims she feels compassion for and cares about. Try to
love even those whose help seems useless and even
egotistical. For the most part it is not, they are
actually trying, and they get just as frustrated as you
that it doesn't seem to help, for all the work they put
into it.
The other penny has to do with *transmission*. If the
word enlightenement has any meaning - and sometimes it
does, sometimes it doesn't, depending on who's doing the
talking and what they are talking about - then of what
benefit does it have to those who haven't 'gotten it' on
their own. Many on this list are what you might call 'wet
behind the ears' and are still at the stage where they
think that a little clarity of thought and *bingo* we can
enlighten people. we are encouraged by others who have
been through similar experiences and know exactly what we
are talking about. People like kristi and the sufferers
she has compassion for gain little or nothing from this
bandying about of concepts, kind of like people who like
to tell 'insider jokes' at a party. We could make a list
of cliches here about dropping the ego and realizing the
wonder of it all, but for those at the more painful
stages these have little value. This is where
'post-enlightenment' practice comes in. You may know what
you know, you may know that your heart and your love is
pure, your may be immune to the resentment of those who
'don't understand'; but you may have a lot to learn about
how to actually help people. If your only abilities are
with people who already know and don't need any help,
what good is that?
When I was enlightened, thirty years a go, I figured I
could explain the truth to any one in an hour or two. A
few months later, I formed a commune with all my navy
buddies, and I figured a few months of living with me and
they would all grasp it readily. After fifteen years of
that. I realized that actually transmitting enlightenment
to people was pretty difficult, and depended almost
entirely on the appropriate student being at the
appropriate state of mind; rather like a pregnant woman
being nine months pregnant and ten centimeters dilated.
And then all you have to do is catch the baby, and try
not to let anyone give the mother and child grossly bad
advice.
The point being, in penny number two, knowing your shit
and talking a good game still won't work hardly any of
the time. Many years of post-enlightenment practice are
needed to be able to really be of any service to anyone,
other than as a good person to hang out with, which is
not something to be underrated. When subhuti asked the
buddha, 'Is spiritual fellowship important to spiritual
practice?" he was told, "subhuti, spiritual
fellowship is the whole of spiritual practice.
Love to you all and I hope I haven't pissed off either
side, I love and understand everybody, the compassionate
and the ones who know better, both. Let's all have faith,
my friends, that every single one of us is doing the best
they can to help the others. It's true!
February
14
Compassion
begins with the acknowledgement of suffering
by Gloria
Lee
I think free will as an
aspect of an ultimately mythical individual selfhood does
dissolve with death (in the meantime it is part of
the" felt and existing" samskaras) or "my
will" is renounced prior by disidentification and
surrender.
If and when one is able to perceive the Tao and be in
harmony with it, one may experience a relatively
"choiceless awareness" of flowing and surrender
to the moment. This is beautiful to know as a perception
of reality here and now.
This assumes a lack of desire/aversion is happening. I
have known this grace at times, and no way do I want to
rain on her parade.
However, to teach, as a doctrine, that man is or ought to
be always passive (especially before realization!)
because he is totally 100% determined and has no
will..this leads to errors of thinking and practice. It
may be a more subtle and rarified response to overly
cling to emptiness, but it is equally a negation of
truth. I cannot presume to speak for Buddhism or Ramana,
but the phrase "neither destiny" would seem to
negate any concept of predestination. It is good to
recognize causes and conditionings as they do exist and
occur, but to claim that is "all there is" to
the extent of actually eliminating oneself as an agent of
causation? This attributes power of causation to every
"thing" except a human being. Are we not
included in this mutual arising of interdependent
causation?
Where else is freedom to be found, if not on that
razor-edge of surrender/resistance within this moment?
Yet what is possible here in this moment, if not creation
itself? To embrace emptiness to the extent of rejecting
or ignoring phenomenal existence is simply choosing one
side of the duality.
Paradox may be useful for attempting to express such
ideas as existence is emptiness, emptiness is existence.
To "be" a living paradox is to see and
experience the mutual coexistence between both. Even the
experience of freedom from ego depends on there having
been ego, phenomenally speaking. What is one
dis-identifying with? Isn't my albeit temporary self
equally a manifestation of this emptiness along with the
rest of existence?
The truth is more like that they cannot be separated,
except hypothetically. The error in practice occurs when
the intellectual "fact" of emptiness is singled
out for emphasis, excluding "unwelcome" aspects
like the ethical precepts or right actions. Thus,
particularly in the West, we get a form of "elite
Buddhism" which selects out meditation and
"enlightenment" and ignores the basics like the
ethical precepts of the eightfold path. Realization
becomes exclusively the teaching of doctrinal thought
without the values deeply embedded within the Buddha's
overall path. Knowing the concept of emptiness of self is
not the same as the experiential elimination of ego. Once
one actually IS empty of ego, what is the need for
restraints on ego or one's will?
So, ...when a person is experiencing suffering..to
diagnose to them that it's all their fault because they
have failed to eliminate ego or to prescribe to them all
is empty so there is no one actually suffering..is not
only useless, but unkind. The use of "truth" as
a weapon is a misuse. Compassion begins with the
acknowledgement of suffering in life. Truth without
compassion is a very incomplete wisdom. Knowing where one
is on this pathless path seems quite crucial to
communication.
February
14
Delight in
the Splendor of the Manifested Form
by
Christiana P. Duranczyk
Good
evening friends...
I could go back and try to capture the many points which
have moved and stirred me these past days.. but I do not
have the time to do so. For this I apologize, as I have
known significant perspectival shifts from these awesome
ponderings. Written energy-words which come at us at such
an accelerated rate that monkey-mind has little time to
wrap itself around some confabulated idea.
And when it does.. the next wave challenges even that to
be released.. moment to moment.. observing self in this
iteration and then in the next. It is enough to observe
this moment.. it is a fullness I have never before known.
Tonight I wrote the following to a friend:
"I am learning about joy.. it seems to be what shows
up when I drop my ideas of myself.. it simply arises in
the formidable creation which I am now knowing as LIFE.
It is more than merely abandoning ideas, there is a
perceptible widening gap as interface between the
stimulation of life and this perceived central processing
unit. In the interface is a viscocity of aliveness...
awareness. It is a mystery to me that it took so long (50
years!) to become aware of this..
"Perhaps.. in all my years of not wanting to be in
this 'dual world'.. I maintained a hold on a stance of
resistance. Perhaps the 'spiritual work' was partly
motivated by a desire to 'get out'.. but ironically,
*now* I find that once I drop the resistant stance and
the idealized stance... once I drop the attachment to any
particular way of holding myself, the nondual manifests,
and to my utter surprise.. in tandem with it is a
profound delight in the splendor of manifested form. It
is a direct experience of the paradox of intention."
Today, a very sensitive friend told me of a dream he had
about me last night. I appeared before him radiantly,
cradling in my arms two beautiful babies.. a boy and a
girl.. and I offered them to him in joy. He wondered what
was going on in my life.
I told him that I was in radiance discovering the beauty
of the magnificent ordinariness of each manifest facet of
duality.. seen so much more clearly for having also
experienced some 'death' of *meaning*.
The writings about 'death' have been significantly
poignant for me, as well as the indications about how we
each (in NDS) are participating in what I know as a Self
Organizing System... in Margaret Wheatley's words:
"systems are fluid relationships.. webby, wandering,
nonlinear entangled messes.. unknowable through
traditional forms of analysis.. creating pathways,
communication flows, causal loops.. irreducible...
needing access to itself.. fed by information. No one
knows what information an individual will choose to
notice. This is why structuring, gatekeeping, and
censoring threaten people's ability to discover something
new. They also threaten the vitality and stability of the
entire system."
.o00o.
I am also moved this week by another paradox inherent in
this community, which is elucidated beautifully in the
new book of commentary by Shunryu Suzuki's (Zen Mind,
Beginner's Mind) _Branching Streams Flow in the Darkness:
Zen talks on the Sandokai_
"In Zen sometimes we say that each of us is steep
like a cliff. No one can scale us. We are completely
*independent*. But when you hear me say so, you should
understand the other side too -- that we are endlessly
*interrelated*. If you only understand one side of the
truth, you can't hear what I'm saying. Zen words are
different from usual words. Like a double-edged sword,
they cut both ways. You may think I am only cutting
forward, but no, actually I am also cutting
backwards."
This paradox of the *relationship* of independence and
interrelation, as well as words which cut both ways,
seems, to me to be a core dynamic of this community. If
it is not entered into with Understanding, then words and
people appear as mere flotsam on our screens.
It has taken me 15 months to arrive at relative stillness
in this community. It has taken me 15 months to know you
as my Body.
what grace..
February
15
On
The Wing of Spiritual Birds
by O.H.
Hello dears:
Judi asked if anyone knew words to Brother Sun, Sister
Moon (what a night, eh, dear one? Sorry i was already in
carton, but here are words, for future storms ,^))
These are the words to title song from movie of St.
Francis life, Brother Sun, Sister Moon, and then a
description of the scene in the Marketplace where Francis
gives away all he "possesses" and awakens to
his Freedom!.
"Brother Sun, Sister Moon, I seldom see you, Seldom
hear your tune.
Pre-occupied, in selfish misery.
Brother Wind and Sister Air Open my eyes to visions pure
and fair.
That I may see the Beauty around me.
I am God's creature, in Him I am part.
I feel His love, Awakening my heart.
Brother Sun and Sister Moon I now do see you, I can hear
your tune.
So much in love, with all that I survey."
This song comes right after Francis has had his
awakening, after which he goes to the top floor of his
house, and jubilantly throws all his father's silks and
brocades (his father is a rich cloth merchant, burly,
greedy, easy to anger), out into the streets below,
telling the hoopin' and hollerin' crowd that has
gathered, to "throw it all away. It is of no
use."
His outraged father drags him through the streets by the
neck - Francis still smiling, crying out to the crowd,
"look at my poor father - what good has all his
riches done him?" to the Bishop for punishment.
The scene in the large village square finds the Bishop
standing on the stairs, the crowd below on either side,
and Francis and his father (his mother is there, too) in
the center, before the Bishop.
The Bishop asks who is causing all this fuss, and Francis
answers:
F: Yes, it's me. My soul is in your hands.
Bishop: What? Are you trying to cause trouble? Is that
what you're trying to do? Is this some damned plot to rob
the church of its authority?
Father: That's nothing compared to what he's done to me,
Your Grace. God only knows, I brought him up, I've
clothed him. I've only given him the best. Ask anyone!
They'll tell you! He's never wanted for anything in his
life from the day he was born!
But today, he threw all my belongings out of the window,
and he even opened my strongbox! (crowd gasps, father
begins to cry) and.(garbled words)....threw out on the
street. Years of hard work and self-sacrifice just tossed
away.
Bishop to Francis: Then, what is your answer to these
accusations?
Surely you are sufficiently intelligent to understand
that Holy Mother Church must punish those who subvert the
established order. A man such as you is a menace to
society. He's either criminal or..
Francis: someone seeking the light - someone in darkness.
I was in darkness, but Brother Son illuminated my soul.
And now, I can see so clearly - just as you did the day
you chose the sacred vestments you are wearing now.
Bishop: (now softened): Are you seeking...Holy Orders?
Francis: Me? no. I am not worthy.
B: Then - what do you want?
Francis; I want to be - to be happy! I want to live like
the birds in the sky. I want to experience the freedom
and the purity that they experience. The rest is of no
use to me.
No use, believe me. If the purpose of life is this
loveless toil we fill our days with, then it's not for
me. There must be something better!
There has to be! Man is - man is a spirit! He has a soul!
And today, that is what I want to recapture - my soul.
(Francis begins to take off his clothes.)
I want to live! I want to live in the fields, stride over
hills, climb trees, swim rivers. I want to feel the firm
grasp of the earth beneath my feet, without shoes,
without possessions, without those shadows we call our
servants.
I want to be a beggar! Christ was a beggar, his holy
apostles were beggars, I want to be as free as they are!
Father: But, Your Grace, even beggars show respect for
their fathers.
Francis: I'm not your son any more.
Father: Wha...?
Francis: What is born of the flesh is flesh. What is born
of the spirit, is spirit. I now am born again.
(Francis takes off rest of clothes, puts them in his arms
and walks to his weeping father. The mother stands in
shock. Francis hands the clothes to his father.)
Francis: Father, I give you back everything that belongs
to you: your clothes, your possessions - your name, too.
(Francis, with shining countenance, turns from parents
and addresses crowd, addresses himself. Claire is
watching from window, smiling.)
Francis: There are no more fathers. There are no more
sons. And everyone who has left houses, or brothers, or
sisters, or fathers, or mothers, or children, or fields -
for the sake of our heavenly Father will receive a
hundred times more in the life to come.
(Bishop shouts: Cover him up! and gives his large brocade
cape to an attendant who drapes it over Francis's
shoulders.
Francis laughs softly, takes off the cape and puts it
around a beggar.
Francis turns from crowd and walks slowly, naked in body,
richly clothed in God's light, down the path to the
city's gate. With face illumined with tears of joy, and
arms outstretched, he stands silhouetted against the
immense blue sky.
~~~
Now, i watch this movie with a detached interest and
mellowed heart pull, but when i was in my early fifties,
this movie was a great inspiration to me - I played it
again and again, each time a new determination growing
within me. One day it all came together: my lease was up,
my last child had just moved out, the funds for my job
were terminated, and i knew what i wanted to
"do" without a doubt. In a quick week, i sold
all my "possessions" except for what i stuffed
in the back seat of my Ford SW - leaving room to sleep,
and took off, with $124 in my purse, i knew not where.
But, inspired by St. Francis, i knew that i was done -
finally! with raising five children on my own, running a
business, saving the children of the county, being
'Wonder Woman" - it was all finished!
And I lived in the fields, on the mountain tops, by the
ocean, in and out of ashrams, monasteries,
temples,wherever the Dharma wind blew me - for seven
years, the most beautiful years of my life! To not know
where i was going to sleep that night, what i would eat,
where the morning's light would find me, was a fantastic
freedom that, at that time in my life, was needed,
perhaps as a healing, perhaps as a calling, it doesn't
matter, i just knew it was the only choice, and i shall
be forever grateful.
Many fond memories arose when hearing that song that Judi
- who else? mentioned, thanks, dearest. Admittedly,
although each moment is now without planning and few
thoughts of past or future passes through feeble brain, i
am sometimes aware that old woman's soul is waiting for
her return to the wandering life, to the envionrment in
which it feels most at home.
It does not matter, though. ,^)) Really! Nothing matters
any more. The mountains, the ocean, the wind, the
Freedom! - are here, now, at garbage pile, tending
garden, dancing with grandchildren, reading nds posts
,^)), God's freedom is none other than old gypsy's
breath.
Thanks for listening, if you got this far.
love to all, oh p.s.
ohmygoodness! Just as i finished this, i saw a movement
in the fig tree that brushes against my front window, and
it was a cardinal! (during wandering days, i always
considered cardinal spiritual bird who came with
"signs" - especially from St. Francis! and
Meher Baba). In all five years i have been here, a
cardinal never came to that tree while i was here to see.
He did not leave, but came as close to window as he
could, just behind the Kwan Yin statue on table before
window, cocking his head from side to side, so close as
if to peck the window to come in. Don't you love it when
stuff like that happens? hoho..and lol...
He just flew away.
Hmm....ok, tears of joy come to my eyes, because i just
remembered! that i am on the way to ER ,^)). (was
catching up on e-mail before i left...hoho). Ain't it all
grand! each piece falls in place. And all we have to do
is to watch it. As Kafka says, "And it will roll in
ecstasy at your feet."
later, loves.
oh (J dear, no problem about ER, just old heart acting up
again. all is fine.)
February
16
The
Transfiguration of the Mind
by Pieter Schoonheim Samara
Between the
images that appear on the screen and the light through
which the images are projected, there appears a notion
that the sense of "I" that permeates the images
(the impressions of a body/mind) has an identity with the
images.
This (Descartes) notion or belief in the "I think,
therefore, I am" idea dissolves altogether, when one
abides as the single "I." The "I am the
body mind" idea and all images and impressions are
outshined, as this fictitious "I" dissolves.
The images remain as undifferentiated from the Self, and
the Self abides as "I AM THAT I AM" without
concepts.
The sensation is that of enquiry, as the focusing and
scanning power of the mind automatically disengages,
becomes concentrated and as the notion of "I"
being related to the images is sucked into its core in
the Heart (Hrdayam), the mind becomes filled with as
sense that it has inverted or acquired an inward bent.
Thoughts and impressions are completely discarded as the
quest for the source of the "I" pulsation pulls
the "I," seemingly intermingled with the
thoughts and impressions and images, into the Singularity
of the Heart, where no images can survive.
{"I AM the Lord thy God (I AM), thou shall have no
other images before Me (I AM)" - the First
Commandment; "I AM the Lord thy God (I AM), thou
shall not take the Name of the Lord (I AM) in vein"
Second Commandment, where the key to understanding these
non-dual Commandments (and the Teachings of Christ) is
Exodus 3:14}
"The light of the body is the eye [the subject
"I"]: Therefore, when thine eye is single, your
whole body will be filled with light...." Luke 11:34
The "I" notion, as being related to the images
in the form of some identity, as a doer and thinker,
drawn into its source, abides as non-dual Truth, the
false impression of the "I" having dissolved,
no difference is seen.
Once it is understood that the Gitas and Scriptures are
all written for the benefit of the single Hearer, the
True "I AM," once one begins to seek the
meaning and implication in all the texts of this "I
AM," then that True Self hears and in hearing
(sravana) that Self (which is always our own Self, that
"I" that we sense), reveals Itself as perpetual
absorption. From then on all practices one may have been
engaged in seem to loose their benefit and intensity as
there is something that is now practicing the mind,
systematically deleting the idea that the "I"
sense has any focused identity.
One abides in the force of the First and Second
Commandments, as the single "I," ..."and
the whole body is filled with light."
===================
http://intl-roots.com/Voyance/ashtavakra_gita.html
Avadhuta Gita
This verse deals with the difficult concept of how can
the infinite becomes finite?
Chapter 2, Verse 9:
Translation by : Swami Chetanananda As water can be hot
or cold or warm, and still be the same water, so also
prakriti (matter) and Purusha (Spirit) it seems to me,
are identical.
Translation by :Swami Ashokananda As pungency, coldness,
or softness is non-different from water, so prakriti is
nondifferent from purusha -- thus it appears to me.
February 17
Book
Review: How About Now?, by Arjuna Nick Ardagh
by Jerry
Katz
I read
Arjuna Nick Ardagh's new book, How About Now?
Satsang with Arjuna. He's in the lineage of
Ramana and Papaji, but he speaks for himself. You don't
get the feeling Arjuna's trying to be someone else or to
speak as though he were those guys.
A lot of people are familiar with Arjuna's first book,
Relaxing Into Clear Seeing. I hear it recommended all the
time. How About Now? is another book that will push
people to the next level.
Here's an excerpt or two that I really like:
"In the 1960's, when (spiritual) teachers first
arrived, there was no way for us to have direct
realization. It was next to impossible. You could listen
to the right words and repeat them verbatim, but it was
not possible until a few years ago to sit firmly in the
realization that 'I am awareness, infinite and eternal.'
Such realizations were not happening for ordinary
Westerners, or at most very fleetingly. The consciousness
began to shift in our culture in this decade, in the
1990's. Now, if we seek out teachings of awakening, they
are mostly being shared by ordinary Westerners -- people
just like you and me. There are very few Indian teachers
left. These days, spiritual teachers of note ... are all
Western people. There is a new generation now, and it is
all up to us. The good news is that if this shift from
the identification with form to being formlessness itself
can happen to an ordinary Western person with children, a
bank balance and the rest of it, it can happen to you,
too. There is really no reason left for anyone to be a
seeker."
-------------------------------------------
Question: Is it merely a coincidence that Awakening and
the coming demise of seeking, parallel the growth of the
Internet? It's a side question that some of us may care
to ponder. Clearly the Internet plays a role. Without the
Internet, it might be asked, would Awakenings spread so
quickly and broadly?
Here's some more from How About Now?:
-----------------------------------------------
"You could come up with the most extreme reason why
you think that you can't have this awakening right now:
'Well, I get irritated with my kids.' So do I. 'Well, I
get anxious about my financial situation.' So do I.
'Well, when I haven't had enough sleep, I get grouchy.'
So do I.
"None of this is as it seems to the mind. It has
nothing to do with changing anything at all. There is
nothing wrong with trying to improve things...(but)...The
personality can be fairly neurotic and still this
realization is absolutely available to you.... There is a
way that whatever is happening in your life, including
the worst, can become an invitation to go even deeper
into wakefulness. Suffering is probably the best way to
reach depths of understanding. Suffering cuts attachment.
This is profoundly good news. This is the time right
now...when there can be widespread awakening."
Andrew
Macnab and I, topping off a five hour 'lunch' replete
with good food, cigars, and wine -- but no women, the
massage parlor was closed [laughter] -- watched an Arjuna
Satsang video. It was good stuff. We liked it because
Arjuna is a straight-shooter and he made sense to us. He
cuts right to the bone, while being gentle and humorous.
We give the video, entitled Beyond Flinching, Two
Aum's Up.
Here's Arjuna's website:
http://www.livingessence.com
February
19
Tears
of 'I AM'
by Manchine
and Umbada
Manchine: An interesting and difficult question. Without all the words that we're supposed to say, using the memeory of what it was really like, how did "I am that I am" feel like to you in its first moments?
Umbada:
It happened when I was seven years old and playing
with toy cars on the hardwood floor of my bedroom in
Paterson, New Jersey. I spontaneously uttered, "I Am
I Am and I Am I Am." The question couldn't be easier
to answer. Those first moments are always with me. It
feels like reality. Like waking.
Now, am I the proud owner of a thousand human frailties
and shortcomings along with that? Yeah. It's just that
reality never changes and there is no doubt associated
with it, no searching, it is being.
Since 1977, it has been as if there is only one day; that
comes out of the permanence of the knowing of I AM. But I
still eat too much junk before I go to sleep and that
causes nightmares.
Biology still goes haywire. Like my late wife Dolores
said more than once, when her body was succumbing to
cancer: "I can't walk anymore, Jerry. It's kind of
funny, isn't it, Jerry?"
She rarely was able to see that clearly, to see the humor
in the body being born and living and giving forth
healthy children and then decaying, but she taught me
about that depth of humor.
Now when something goes haywire, like my gall bladder or
something, I say, "It's kinda funny to be in all
this pain, isn't it, Dolores?" And I laugh with her.
"It's kinda funny to be running to the E.R., isn't
it Dolores?" It eases my concern and brings some
relief to move from personal concern into the bigger
picture of love and reality.
Reality is the same, and that's the feel of I AM.
Everything else is a joke because it changes.
Manchine: I was thinking yesterday, after
reading this how funny it was that I had so much work to
do that I couldn't find time to respond to this exquisite
post. You had me between laughing out loud and tears of
peace the whole day.
Thank you.
The last sentence, "Reality is the same, and that's
the feel of I AM. Everything else is a joke because it
changes."
No one thing is greater than I AM. Everything else is
within it. If the Sun exploded or the Universe turned
itself inside out, that would merely be a scene within
the marvel of I AM.
Your description reminded me of something I had never
connected. I have always felt that my first sight of I AM
was at age 12, still do, but maybe a couple of years
before, in one given moment I realized that I would die.
I went running to my mother and told her I'm going to
die, I don't want to die. She did everything to hide her
horror, wondering what had happened, until she realized
that it wasn't "imminent". She tried to
convince me that it was OK, I had lots of time yet. I
said, no, that's not it, I'm going to die someday. Then
she knew she had a problem! But persistently, she fixed
it with hugs and caring stroking of my hair and I let her
convince me that I had lots of time yet.
I hadn't related this with the more "cosmic
experience" later, completely different sense. I
felt a reality, a sense of being that was not possible! I
think I said, My God! I am.. it can't be. I couldn't look
it in the face, it was so powerful I had to shake my head
to make it go away. From then on, I knew that there's
nothing bigger than I AM. I call it from time to time to
recharge my batteries, and I think that every time I see
it I say "My God" and then my wife will find me
there with tears.
melody: From where I sit
here in the heart of Missouri, it would be a rather large
leap to state that Awakenings are accelerating.
I wonder if maybe the fact that now those of similar
interests from all over the globe can all be linked
together gives an illusion of there being more awakening
now than at any other time?
Or maybe it is as you say, and I ought to get out of town
more often. :-) I've noticed very little change in
consciousness.....as a whole....here now than when I
lived in this area 25 years ago. If anything it seems
more 'fundamentally' Christian than ever before.
I wonder what others have noticed (outside of
California).
skye: I've noticed a big change over here (Australia).
90% of the customers i make patterns for are women, 10%
are men as i don't design childrens clothes. And i visit
garment manufactures twice a week and get the chance to
chat to many people as i work. I rattle on to everyone as
i work, about the non- dual perspective, so they
understand immediately why i don't get distraught the way
they believe every conscientious worker should be when
things go wrong (as they are wont to do in the deadline
world of the rag trade).
I've discovered both men and women are *much* more eager
to talk about inner awareness these days than even only 5
yrs ago, when i was just as obsessed. I tell everyone how
much time i spend on the net and how much i enjoy
discussing the nondual reality with people all over the
world and they always want to know more. I've noticed it
makes them more personal with me, less guarded. People
instinctively trust this undogmatic manner of looking
within and without. They instinctively gravitate towards
it now.
Its quite beautiful these days.
Christiana: As some of you know about me, our 'awakening'
and conscious *responding* to our place within the Living
One, is the central motif of who I am. Teilhard de
Chardin, Peter Russell, Ken Wilber have offered good
integrative models. Still, it seems to me, the individual
work has had to be done individually until a modicum of
freedom and stability is maintained in what Hans offered
about old patterns of thinking.. "The problem is its
tendency to contract our awareness into its limited slots
of value judgements".
I agree with you Melody, that this appearance of vast
awakening is not yet felt in the masses still deeply
embedded in the 'world dream'. Still, having participated
in several online communities (a few specifically intent
on witnessing the flow of the System as It Self
organizes), I have found the Internet to be the *current*
upon which our *opportunities*... for clearing the
'foreground dross', as well as anchoring in 'Background
Awareness'... are available. Many of us have been doing
this work in solitude. Now we are in communion and in
deep learning communities with others here in Australia,
Chile, Canary Islands, Holland, New Zealand, Canada,
these United States. I find this awesome.
Because of the synchronous timing of this dialogue here
with my having received the first post of a new forum for
communally observing this process, I am forwarding it in
a separate post. I have been reading Richard Thieme for
several years. He is one of my favorite thinkers. His
weblink is also included for anyone interested in this
topic of technology and consciousness: http://www.thiemeworks.com.
February
20
Manchinery:
Selections from the Email of Manchine
We are all at this very
moment, seated in front of a computer, a concept is
taking form. It is happening now. Before your very eyes.
The concept is timeless. I am understanding this and it
is me, it is us. The hands on the keyboard and mouse are
mine. They are mine. Do you understand what I am saying.
It is me who is perceiving this, and that said it is us,
in the here and now.
-----------------------------------------------------
Wait a minute, what's this?
We are dreaming, we are asleep and we are dreaming. Do
you feel it? Where will we go. Can I disolve the
physical..? In a dream... blackness. Nothing, no... a
vibration, I feel us, wha... fwaa, fwaa, fwaa... another
place in the same blackness... its, it's shimmering, I'm
expanding... but how, there's nothing. .....OMMMM I'm
inside, I'm touching everything. My God.. I AM.
------------------------------------------------------
It's 09:45 PST and the Giant Sleeps, but its conscience
is still alive, bubbling away from another time and place
in the here and now.
------------------------------------------------------
I'm not sure, don't have my PhD, but just from
"feeling", I sense that stilling the mind has
it's function up to a point. Some of the things I've been
getting into here recently on the list seem to be
accentuating that. It seems that stilling the mind could
be one of the best tools to introduce someone to
awareness, and to perhaps lead them through a transition.
Once the process takes hold, mind stilling is sort of
self feeding and perhaps there comes a critical point
when the emphasis should be shifted to expanding
awareness. Once I began to broaden my awareness, loosing
me, there seemed to be an increase in activity, yet the
silence became more exquisite. A focus on stillness,
silence, in those moments, I feel, stops the process.
------------------------------------------------------
A label is a product of the mind. My daughter came to me
one day when she was about 6, "Daddy, daddy I can
talk in my head", proceeding to do it she said,
"see?".
I had a dream once, when I was working night shift and
sleeping in the day. It was a rather lengthy dream, I had
found a bomb and a group had gathered trying to figure
out what to do. I put to investigating, to see if I could
disarm it. As I opened the box, it blew up, fortunately
waking me, in time to realize that the bang had come from
outside my bedroom window! I was sure that the dream had
lasted at least ten minutes, but I would have had to
construct it in an instant.
Our mind is full of tricks. There are things going on
that we don't even know about. It's true however that we
have internal conversations. How strange!! Who are we
speaking to and why? Base thoughts, the inspirations,
happen in a flash with amazing detail, but then we
vocalize them. The moment we vocalize, we fix the
thought, but we all know that vocalization is clumsy. The
thought is no longer free. What's more, other
inspirations can start arising from the clumsy
interpretation of the first, etc. etc.
What interests me is where do the base inspirations come
from, the virgins so to speak. How do we communicate
those without vocalizing? Action? Even that requires
decisions (thought). Hmmm...
One thing that would help, is that in communicating that
we don't get so hung up on words, as transmitter or
receiver. Well, you understand that one. And that
personal importance doesn't color the thought.
February
21
The wide end
of the cone is 'I Am', the tiny sharp pointed end is
'ego'
by Gene
Poole
Envision a
cone-shaped object; the wide end, like a floodlight,
illuminates all that is.
The narrow end, the very sharpest point, like the
sharpest of laser-scalpels, is able to separate the most
minute particles, one from another.
The wide end of the
cone is "I Am", the tiny sharp pointed end is
'ego'.
I Am and ego are one and the same, one is the front, one
is the back; it is wholeness.
Which is the front? The one in use at the time. Which is
the back? The other one.
One may not discard
either, and neither is absent. The 'ego experience' may
usually be in the forefront, busily dissecting dualism,
but the I Am is always present, for it is what ego is
busy disecting.
If I Am is in the
forefront, ego is latent, quiet, unused, yet available.
Ego may be called into play at any time. It is amusing,
and enlightening, to observe and experience this whole of
Being, observing itself, enjoying itself, scaring itself,
mystifying itself, denying itself.
Ego operates on a priority of "I/not-I", or it
may be stated, "what is good for me". Ego finds
in dualism, what is good and bad, and serves Being by
being alert to this priority.
I Am, being What Is,
is simultaneously both dual and nondual, floodlight and
scalpel, information and observer of information. The
activity which I Am is aware of is consciousness itself,
essence. The activity of which ego is aware is the
relativistic relationships between every particle of
matter, energy, and information, which is consciousness
disguised as form, space, and time.
I Am and ego both deal with consciousness, each in an
opposite and yet complimentary way; I Am is consciousness
essence, ego examines minutely the infinite variations of
the appearance of this essence.
Language is the gift of name, the labeling function of
ego. In its endless task of dissection of dualism, each
particle is named, yet each name is the same name, for
there are no particles, only essence. Yet ego persists,
calling attention to minute differences and similarities,
which is the essence of ego.
Ego consists of two
voices, one passive, one active, in eternal conversation.
This conversation is what creates the reality of dualism,
the reality of particular form, existing in relative
interrelationship.
Name serves to identify each significance, and also
serves to identify categories which serve to generalize
specific particles into groups.
The active voice of ego is named male, the passive voice
is named female. The eternal conversation between male
and female is composed of every possible variation of
that conversation, and each version of that eternal
conversation is happening simultaneously.
The dialogs of pursuit, of fleeing, of recognition, of
attraction, of aversion, of seeking ideals, of
completion, all of these conversations make up the human
experience, the experience of Being.
Every version of this eternal dialog between the male and
female voices can be heard in the sounds of the natural
world; the hiss and the roar of the surf, the flute and
drum of the ancient sacred music of separateness and
unity, the splitting crackle of lightning and the boom of
thunder, its companion.
Tolerating the eternal dialog, and the silence in which
it is happening, is abiding What Is.
The Gift of Grace is the awareness that I have the
ability to choose, knowing that my choices are a
continual sampling of the essence, coming to me nameless
or named, a sharing of my essence with myself, living in
eternal gratitude, tears of pain and joy signifying the
eternal flow of experience in consciousness, my home.
Jan: Yes,
attachments can be lethal. There is no difference between
being addicted to a life of activity or yogic
confinement; this must have been the reason why Aurobindo
is said to have advocated "realize while engaged in
wordly life" after having been in seclusion for
almost 20 years. The "I" thrives on change, be
it from worldly activity or "improvement" from
sadhana :)
Liliana: In another place you mentioned also
that one should be ready to give up yoga (as the form of
ultimate surrender if I understood it correctly (?)). Is
it detachment from the fruit/result of yogic
"activities" that you meant here? If yoga is
the path and the ultimate goal, atma vicharya and
eventualy Ultimate Reality, how can one give it up? What
do you mean by yogic confinement? Please, expand on it.
Jan: The ultimate surrender is unconditional and
eventually this could follow from a long practice of yoga
but such a practice isn't a requirement. Detachment has
to mean being the witness and is a yogic practice by
itself. No practice can lead to the direct experience of
*what is*; eventually practices can lead to calming the
mind so that it becomes transparent.
Yogic confinement is long, solitary retreat for many
years and what else could be the purpose but doing
practices? It can increase the false sense doership and
create attachment to samadhis. As man is designed to
function in a community, it has to be also the means for
a reality check of "yogic achievements". When
the sense of bliss evaporates (or transforms into yuck)
while attending duties or events like having a flat tire,
the "achievement" is worthless.
A gradual path could be called a shovel to dig up
obstacles (identifications) one by one and has to be used
quite often. A direct path or no-path has to take
everything away, won't provide shovels, so that *what is*
is pristine clarity, and is used only once. When not
following the Heart, what remains to follow but the mind?
When a follower, follow the Heart :)
February
23
Follow Your
Fascinations
by Melody
Anderson
From Osho's
"The Mustard Seed".....
".......Jesus says, 'Be like a child' ......."
"............... A child is simply a child, he
doesn't even know that he is a child, he is not aware of
his innocence."
"A saint, a sage, becomes like a child in a totally
different sense. He has transcended, he has gone beyond
mind, because he has understood the futility of it. He
has understood the whole nonsense of being a successful
man in this world - he has renounced that desire to
succeed, the desire to impress others; the desire to be
the greatest, the most important; the desire to fulfill
the ego. He has come to understand the absolute futility
of it. The very understanding transcends. The very
understanding - and immediately you are transformed into
a different dimension.
Then there is again a childhood: that is called the
second childhood. Hindus have called that stage 'the
twice-born', dwij. Again you are born, but this is a
different birth, not out of a father and a mother.
This is out of your own self, not out of two bodies
meeting, not out of duality. It is through your self that
you are born."
I think that's right on.
Notice he said thru *your self* you are born again. Not
due to the impatience of others, nor because of someone's
'correct' perceptions, nor wise and generous
counsel.....as well intended as it all may be. But it is
thru the experience of failure - of all the satiations,
of all the knowledge, and relationships, and
successes.... thru discovering the futility of all that
we seek to bring us 'home'....
are we then catapulted into the next dimension of
awareness.
I say....follow your fascinations. Delight in your
passions. Smoke that cigarette if that's what you're
craving. Read any and every 'how to' book on
enlightenment if you want to.
Experience life until the passions and cravings and
intellectual curiosities, the highs and the lows....
no longer motivate you, excite you, satisfy your hunger,
or bring the peace you seek.
And when it is all done....when we experience the
'failure' of all of our activity to take us 'Home'....the
activity will fall away......like a leaf whose season has
passed.
February
24 February
25 It has been
thought that the "I" didn't exist because there
doesn't remain any memory of it. In fact, this is a kind
of clue: emotional memory could be called its center and
emotional memory vanishes together with "I".
For instance, for some, visiting the dentist is a kind of
mini-trauma: knowing that in a few hours, the drill will
be screaming its way through one's teeth will cause
side-effects like a change of heart beat, perspiration
and like to happen, although nothing is happening yet :)
This is impossible without a "me". One's
behavior will be so different (laughing, telling jokes
etc.) February
26 Xan: Sat means
truth, sang means gathering. Satsang is people gathered
together for the sake of truth. Generally there is a
teacher and the style depends on him/her. It is not
primarily ritualistic or ceremonial as church is. At
various times there may a talk/discourse given, questions
and answers, sitting in silence, music. A genuine satsang
is full of life and discovery ... in my experience. February
27 Umbada: I see a
new day, a new Guru, and what is being created on the
Internet and in communities is not where we are headed as
a 'Way'; it is not the Way and not the evolutionary step
beyond the traditional Guru as some think it is, but it
is what we are buiding as infrastructure for the coming
Guru. February
28 MO February
29 Dan: Gene
recently wrote of levels of awareness, with unknowness
always outside of each increasing level of awareness.
When a
follower, follow the Heart
by Jan
Barendrecht
that fellow patients won't believe one is a patient...
---------------------------
Without a "me", there is no "I" and
vice versa; although in the course of events the
"me" can become almost unreal, it still remains
as a potential. Regarding this and other (veiling)
potentials I used the analogy of enjoying a sunset,
standing with a burden of 200 lbs on one's back; when the
burden is removed, the enjoyment is more intense and less
restricted although the sunset doesn't change one bit.
Because the "feel" without that burden
("I") yet is so natural and having felt the
burden cannot be remembered anymore, the "new heaven
and new earth" is embraced without any thought or
analysis... Eventually this will become possible much
later, as the process of unidentifying is natural and
will just go on. This doesn't mean a kind of
"nowhere land": one will spontaneously
understand the source of scriptures like Upanishads,
Bible etc. the moment the "I" is oblivion.
Although without properties, radiant Void/Self/impersonal
God was the "reference" all the time but
*"I" and "my" feelings* were
obstructing :)
----------------------------------------
...attachments can be lethal. There is no difference
between being addicted to a life of activity or yogic
confinement; this must have been the reason why Aurobindo
is said to have advocated "realize while engaged in
wordly life" after having been in seclusion for
almost 20 years. The "I" thrives on change, be
it from worldly activity or "improvement" from
sadhana :)
--------------------------------------
...it is unlikely you learned about attachment. There are
those, stating that every like and dislike is attachment
and from there, it is a little step either to advocate
total renunciation from the world or its opposite,
"detached enjoyment" (very popular in the
West). Both are BS: humans are designed to function in a
community and the "glue" for it is made of love
and compassion. How could it be else? By proper
functioning in a community (satsanga), the pain of the
unidentification process is felt much less: this is the
sole reason for it, apart from the fact that the
"live" presence of one to serve as an
"example" would be beneficial too. So instead
of "blaming" it on attachment, look inside for
the real reason...
------------------------------------------
The ultimate surrender is unconditional and eventually
this could follow from a long practice of yoga but such a
practice isn't a requirement. Detachment has to mean
being the witness and is a yogic practice by itself. No
practice can lead to the direct experience of *what is*;
eventually practices can lead to calming the mind so that
it becomes transparent.
Yogic confinement is long, solitary retreat for many
years and what else could be the purpose but doing
practices? It can increase the false sense doership and
create attachment to samadhis. As man is designed to
function in a community, it has to be also the means for
a reality check of "yogic achievements". When
the sense of bliss evaporates (or transforms into yuck)
while attending duties or events like having a flat tire,
the "achievement" is worthless.
A gradual path could be called a shovel to dig up
obstacles (identifications) one by one and has to be used
quite often. A direct path or no-path has to take
everything away, won't provide shovels, so that *what is*
is pristine clarity, and is used only once. When not
following the Heart, what remains to follow but the mind?
When a follower, follow the Heart :)
---------------------------------------------------
nice one marcia, welcome back, how COULD you leave us ;-)
¤missed you ¤ ¤love ¤skye
The top 10 reasons to leave :)
1. Need the time for sadhana.
2. Need the time to work.
3. Osho reads "better".
4. There are no grill parties.
5. Sometimes things get too personal.
6. U.G. Krishnamurty reads "better".
7. Need the time for family life.
8. Can't bear the reproaching look from the cat anymore.
9. Received the diploma in speed reading - thanks guys.
10. The mind has become as transparent to stimuli as the
air is to light.
----------------------------------------------
These days, "community life" is unimaginable as
individuality is emphasized from birth on and
turbo-boosted by all media. If humanity survives (not
likely this time) perhaps a nice discussion over a couple
of thousand years :) But Gautama's community must have
been quite an intimate one as many householders
"attained" nirvana, a feat the Internet,
despite "free speech", won't achieve...
-----------------------------------------
There is but enlightenment; that humans forget it and
call the act of recognition "enlightenment" is
rather funny. The recognition doesn't have a cause but
forgetting has: identification. Momentarily forgetting
the identifications is one thing, dissolving them quite
another as it "involves" the fiery snake :)
What Is
Satsang?
by Xan,
Larry, and Jerry
Larry: Satsang literaly means 'meeting with the
truth'. It means a gathering of people who want to ask
questions about nonduality. The one that answers the
questions is called the guru. If all goes well, everybody
realizes his/her true nature :-)))
"Sat" means "being" and
"sang" means "with." So satang means
being with.
Usually what happens is a bunch of people get together
and "be" with someone who is "Being"
there, or better "Being" THE there. They get a
chance to see what "Being" looks like and ask
questions on how to do it.
You would think there wouldn't be much to say about how
to be, but luckily there's a lot.
Jerry: The following definition of Sastsang is given
in Bubba Free John's Garbage and the Goddess:
"Satsang literally means true or right relationship.
It is commonly or traditionally used to refer to the
practice of spending time in the company of holy or wise
persons. One can also enjoy Satsang with a holy place, a
venerated image, the burial shrine of a saint, or with
the Deity. Bubba uses the term in its fullest sense, to
signify the very relationship between a genuine
Siddha-Guru (and thus the Divine Person, the Maha-Siddha)
and his devotee. That relationship is seen to be an
all-inclusive Condition, effective at every level of life
and consciousness. Divine Communion. The Company of the
Divine Person."
I hear a lot of fullness and muscularity in that
definition. It's not wimpy like the definition of today's
Satsang. You know what? I envision that in the next one
to five years the current placement of attention on
'ordinary people' or friends or neo-psychoanalysts as
serving the Guru function will not disappear but will be
enriched by a return of attention to the Muscle Gurus,
the Bubba Free Johns, for example.
Combining the muscular Guru with the
Guru-as-knowing-friend makes for powerful growth. And
this time nobody will expect the muscle Guru to be a
perfect saint: He or she will be recognized as a powerful
Presence and one will enter into the relationship knowing
that such a One might possess all kinds of personality
flaws and problems. It won't be a big deal this time. If
anyone senses a constriction when hearing of the return
of the muscle Guru, perhaps release it and see what it
allows to come. I say let the muscular Guru be muscular
and not require him or her to be a 'friend'. Those days
are not going to go away, but I feel they are serving to
prepare us for a whole new kind of relationship.
I know there is already muscularity in the current crop
of teachers and here on the list, but it is held back, I
feel. It needs to be welcomed more, in my opinion.
A Lullabye
by Manchine
and Umbada
As I said in another posting, I feel it's good to
mentally welcome the muscular Gurus like Osho and Adi Da.
There's a symbolism behind Adi Da's reclusiveness on
Fiji. I wonder if anyone can really see it, and it is not
simply because he is hiding from lawsuits arising out of
sexual misconduct. I don't think Adi Da is aware himself
why he is reclusive. I'm telling him and the world why.
It is to make room for what we are doing so that we can
properly receive the Adi Da's that come from time to
time.
Manchine: Just don't get lulled into stopping
there. The first coming of Christ was one man who was
All, could it be that the second coming is All who are
One.
There is lots of work to do.
Umbada: Yes, the lets not think we might not be
singing lullaby's here. Isn't I AM the first coming, and
isn't Standing Free, or Full Enlightenment, the second
coming? So there's nowhere to go and nothing to do,
really. Well, that's another lullaby. It's a good
question, Are we, instead of awakening, deceiving
ourselves and causing lulling? It's very possible we're
moving from dream to another. It's almost impossible to
be awake.
MO and More
MO
From the Reciprocality Project Website
by Alan G. Carter
M0 is a previously unsuspected public health problem. It
is ancient and vast, and only fragments of information
regarding its origins and the psychological state of
humans prior to its instantiation have passed down to us.
It consists of a neurochemical effect induced by boring
social conditions that people get addicted to like some
athletes get addicted to their own adrenaline and end up
B. A. S. E. jumping.
People so hooked on their own boredom products lose
access to a whole layer of cognitive abilities based on
the use of precisely tuned feedback loops in the brain.
The trouble is, they don't even notice anything is wrong,
firstly because they can't see what they can no longer
see, and secondly because they experience an artificial
sense of well-being and see repetitive behaviour as an
inherent good. They are also distressed by novelty,
because it induces a physiological withdrawal. There is a
cultural distortion produced by having a majority of
people in this state, which makes it difficult to ask the
questions that would expose it. There is natural
immunity, and natural immunes have their own interesting
strengths (and weaknesses, in the circumstances). It's
why some people are more "with it" than others.
They just aren't sick in this sense, and so they can
perceive and then dynamically replan to include, the
implicit.
Ritual junkies don't know they are junkies and so have no
opportunity to exercise their will in the face of
addictive behaviour. They get nasty when deprived of
ritual or subjected to novelty. It's why programming,
which should always be about solving new problems every
time, degrades into ritualised bullying to "follow
procedures" with empty outcomes in commercial
settings. The ritual is more important than the result,
and most people don't have the cognitive capacity to be
fluent with problem domains and understand programs
holistically, as non-trivial systems must be understood.
This is why the commercial software sector hasn't
produced anything new since 1993 while freeware is
heading for a Vingian Singularity. This website is
powered by Linux.
Fear of withdrawal (addicts) or bullying by addicts
(immunes) makes this subject difficult for most people to
discuss, although they are not able to say why. It's
frightening, but it's beatable .
-----------------------
More MO
by Joss Earl
Consider the statement:
"Most people act stupid because they are physically
addicted to boredom."
When people hear this, the most common initial reaction
is "don't be silly, people hate being bored".
Sometimes people also object to the first part, they
disagree that most people act stupid. This reaction is
far less common, for some reason we find little to
disagree with in the phrase "most people act
stupid".
The idea that people are addicted to boredom seems
ridiculous, but let's consider it for a moment. Boredom
is an unpleasant sensation that occurs when your mind is
unoccupied. Supposedly, repetitive and predictable
activities are boring, while novel and unpredictable
events are exciting. Given this understanding of boredom,
the way people act seems a little strange. Consider the
phrase: "we are creatures of habit". We get up
at the same time every day, go through the same rituals,
go to work, do much the same thing at work as we did
yesterday, come home and watch the same old television
shows.
There is something deeply comforting about familiar
habits and rituals. The truth is:
most people strongly dislike having their daily routine
disturbed. If something truly unexpected comes up at
work, it doesn't make their day, it ruins it. How often
have you heard someone say "I had to deal with some
novel situation at work today, which was nice".
This behaviour doesn't sit well with the notion that
people dislike boredom. One thing people genuinely
dislike is sitting around doing absolutely nothing. This
induces the unpleasant sensation that people think of as
boredom. However, give them a mindless repetitive task to
do, eg playing solitaire, watching television, or working
on a checkout line, and they're content. Not necessarily
happy, but not extremely uncomfortable either.
Just what is it about doing absolutely nothing that
people hate so much ? Maybe doing absolutely nothing
makes people uncomfortable because it forces them to
think. Our brains are not designed for total inactivity.
In everyday life we keep our brains ticking over with our
routines. Very few people have jobs that actually demand
any deep thought. Even highly trained professionals such
as doctors or lawyers are seldom presented with
situations of real novelty. They are presented with a
situation which they recognise, and they then carry out
the appropriate procedure that they were trained to
perform. Occasionally people have to improvise a little
or combine different techniques, but how often do they
have to invent something or come up with some fundamental
new insight. Doing absolutely nothing is uncomfortable
because we are simply not used to contemplation.
We are all taught to get into a routine very early in
life. We have to go to school, sit quietly in class,
listen to the teacher, perform the exercises, do our
homework, etc etc. This is when we get into the habit of
habits. The trouble is, this predictable repetitive
lifestyle is not something the human brain was originally
designed for. We are tremendously adaptable creatures and
seem able to adapt to almost anything, but that doesn't
necessarily mean its a good idea.
The most fundamental change in human society occured when
we evolved from being hunter gatherers to being farmers.
Hunters have distinctly different requirements to
farmers. A hunter needs to be continually aware of his
surroundings, so his attention will quickly focus on
anything that may be a threat or opportunity. He (or, of
course, she) must be instantly ready to drop everything
and begin another task such as following a fresher trail,
instantly responding to danger, etc. As a hunter,
novelty, constantly monitoring the surroundings, and
creativity are the most important requirements for
success. Farmers" are totally different in makeup.
While hunters need immediate feedback from their efforts,
the "farmer" must wait months to get any
response from his crops. He needs to be able to sustain a
steady, even level of effort, even with no apparent clear
gain in the immediate future.
Our brains learned to cope with life as a farmer by
producing more dopamine. Some theories suggest that
dopeamine developed as a survival technique for seige
like situations. If a monkey is sitting in a tree with a
lion prowling around below then being patience is
essential for survival. Dopamine calms down the monkey
and allows him to out-wait the lion. In todays society we
spend a lot of time in waiting situations. In fact, it
would be more accurate to say that we spend almost all
our time in waiting situations.
Our dopamine levels are much higher than nature intended.
The increased levels of dopamine enabled humanity to
function efficiently as farmers, but this came at a cost.
High levels of dopamine significantly impairs the minds
ability to think creatively. Worse yet, the dopamine is
highly addictive. Recent research shows that almost by
definition, addictive drugs are ones that raise dopamine
levels. This explains why people object so strongly to
having their routine distrurbed. It triggers exactly the
same resentment that you observe in junkies when they are
denied their fix. The more ritual dependent people
become, the more easily they become irritated by upsets
to their routine. In extreme cases people actually become
angry when presented with a novel idea. They ridicule the
person presenting the idea, but provide no arguments
saying what is wrong with it.
People who work in these places tend to get stuck into a
spiral of ever increasing paperwork and procedure.
Everybody knows this. Government bureaucracies are a very
good example. Common sense is thrown out the window.
Procedures are only ever added, never removed.
Organisations become extraordinarily resistent to change
or reform. This no longer seems surprising. Anybody who
tries to eliminate the procedures or introduce novel
ideas is met with the resentment you would expect from an
addict being denied his fix. That's exactly what's
happening.
Dreaming a
Life
by Gene Poole
introduced by Dan
Berkow and Annie Heppingstone
Any understanding or awareness that is higher than
another level, will itself be surpassed. However, the
ultimate understanding has nothing above it. Because
nothing is above it, nothing is below it, either.
Nothing above me, nothing below me, nothing beside me,
nothing in front of me, nothing behind me. The only
reason this is called "ultimate awareness" and
similar terms is because people are lost in higher
understandings and lower understandings. The ultimate
awareness is purely Unknown to all levels of awareness,
however, to itself it is neither known or unknown.
Annie: I don't understand the concept that
awareness can be 'neither known or unknown'. Does this
refer to just being?
Gene: Oneself is only 'known' as a supposition,
impression or assumption; what is 'knowing' the assumed
self, is itself unknown to that assumed self.
The assumed self cannot 'know' anything which is not
included and validated via experience of that assumed
self; thus, the assumed self is limited to perceiving a
'reality' which is composed entirely of history, or as it
is called, the past.
Constrained to an interpretation of reality which is only
a reflection of the past, the assumed self is incapable
of recognizing (due to lack of prior experience) its own
limited nature; still, the whole and complete Being which
is Self, is actually what is going on, the whole time.
Our words and thus thoughts are constrained to a grammar
which is itself predicated upon an assumption of
separation; consequently, our language is used to
describe particles and agglomerations of particles, each
named and ranked according to the best use of the grammar
of separation. Such a grammar, ruling language as it
does, excludes any word which would threaten that
grammar. The grammar of language, thus enforces our
notion of separation and particulars, as being the ground
of reality.
Awareness is the whole of what contains all perceived
particulars; indeed, all particles are misperceived
language of wholeness. All particles, individuals, each
separate thing, are actually in total, a great harmony;
it is the perfection of this harmony, which allows the
persistence of 'us' as apparently discrete and separate
'Beings'. We, as products of harmony, are imbued with a
sense of harmony, which is our ability to be attracted to
beauty. In this way, is each Being attracted to the
greater harmony; and that greater harmony is the
'ultimate awareness' to which Dan alludes, above.
It is one thing to be attracted to beauty, and another to
be beauty.
When a person has a glimpse of their own beauty, in that
instant, everything is beautiful; in that instant, is
seen a glimpse of the great harmony which sustains us.
Now that this is in the category of experience, all of
what is 'past' is rewritten; now, everything is beautiful
and harmonious, and always has been, for eternity. In
this moment, in this glimpse, self is reconciled, and can
thus fall away.
Thus falling away, the assumptions of which oneself is
composed, also fall away. In this moment, free of
assumptions, is freedom. In this freedom, one realizes
that one has been dreaming a life; and one may then also
realize, that they are truly free to dream any life or
quality of life, which they may choose. Thus free of
assumptions, and thus so free, one realizes the
unrealizable nature of realization itself; that it
depends upon no validation or evidence or anything at
all.
It is only our assumptions which constrain us. Letting go
of assumptions on no basis whatsoever, is quite difficult
to do; there is no evidence that such a course of action
could possibly have a desirable outcome. What one must
remember, is that a reality which is qualified by
experience, is itself only a reflection of those
experiences, and thus cannot ever be anything 'new'. It
is good to remember also, that knowing is built upon what
has been known; and that it is not-knowing which
encompasses all of what we do not know.
By not-knowing, one opens space, and that space is
awareness. In that space, is what is known, but the space
itself is unseen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To close, the editor offers some verses from Avadhuta
Gita:
There is no one to understand and nothing, indeed, to be
understood. I have no cause and no effect. How shall I
say that I am conceivable or inconceivable? I am free
from disease -- my form has been extinguished.
I have developed no false notion that all this reality
comes into existence or that all this unreality comes
into existence. I am free from disease -- my form has
been extinguished.
It is neither gross nor subtle. It has neither come nor
gone. It is without beginning, middle, and end. It is
neither high or low. I am truly declaring the highest
Truth and Reality -- I am the nectar of Knowledge,
homogeneous Existence, like the sky.