Kundalini
Selected Topics /\ Autobiographical /\ Poetry
Nondualism can and has been approached from many sides. A side
that is rarely encountered is the side from Kundalini
(K.)Expanding consciousness and the rising of K. are
simultaneous. It can happen that other effects require so much
attention that one doesn't notice this expansion. Enhanced
sensitivity, visions, precognition, empathy can be such effects.
Another reason why expanding consciousness is masked is the power
of magnification that K. can give to all experiences
(including one's feelings). The mood swings caused by uric acid
are familiar to everyone but not recognized; K. can amplify
these swings beyond proportion, like from ecstasy to loneliness.
On the bright side, these swings are the "flavor" of
many a
devotional poem.
At times, attention will be fixed on either a block or a knot;
these can coincide. When the passage is cleared and the knot
ispierced, the expansion of consciousness seems to have made a
major leap and there will be the dawn of aloneness, colored by
the mind. Transparency of mind (no color) is the prerequisite to
enjoy this dawn to the full; coloring by mood swings or
interpretation is like trying to see a sunrise in a cloudy sky.
A practice of Nirvikalpa samadhi is not required; K. will reach
the crown chakra by itself. When the nadis of the crown center
are felt as if they form a crown, one is near to the moment that
will be the same for everyone, independent of race, caste and
creed: everlasting nondual reality. This doesn't have to be the
end of the journey of K.; the simile of a sunrise indicates there
will be a day of resplendid light; then the sun will set forever.
K. will eliminate the conditions for living and by doing so,
Herself, leaving Reality "in" a human body that is no
longer subjected to the laws of nature.
How one will cope with Kundalini is entirely dependent on
one's perspective.
1) If one has seen death in the eyes many times and has no fear,
this is a
great advantage.
2) If one has been through (hard) times during which one
sincerely wished to
be exempt from all feelings, this is a great advantage too.
Kundalini can do no harm when there is no more "will to live
and enjoy",
when all conditioning is gone.
Purohit Swami comments:
"I asked a great Mahatma what would awaken the Kundalinee
and he said:"
Renunciation, renunciation, renunciation"".
"It is a terrifying experience when the Kundalinee is
awakened. The first
day the fire was kindled in me, I thought I was dying, the whole
body was,
as it were, on fire, mind was broken to pieces, the bones were
being
hammered, I did not understand what was happening. [...] During
that period,
I could not sit in any posture, I could not stand, I used to lie
down on my
bed and repeat the name of Lord Dattatreya".
The stages of K.:
1. The beginning of burning sensations at the second center (not
on the
axis, but to the right).
2. The piercing of the heart center.
3. Reaching the top of the crown center. The mystical
union/moksha/nirvana.
The electrical phenomena accompanying this event are of such a
kind as to
cause immediate heart failure to the faint at heart. At this
stage, it
appears that self, ego etc. never existed - they were a case of
mistaken
identity. OM (the "alpha" from the bible) is
"experienced" (it is more than
hearing) and one +knows+ how it will "end" (6.)
4. K. descending from the crown to the heart center on the
right (the
"Heart"). The beginning of spontaneously going into
nirvikalpa samadhi. The
crown center becomes the "home base" of K.
5. One remains "anchored" in nirvikalpa samadhi but
the consciousness of
mind, body and senses is "added"; the state is called
sahaja samadhi.
6. When the consciousness of mind, body and senses are
completely
transformed into pure consciousness, the same electrical event
occurs as in
3. and OM is "experienced" for the last time (the
"omega" from the bible).
In this state, one is pure consciousness, still linked to a body.
This link
isn't compelling because without the urge to breath one can leave
the body
at will without the least pain. At this stage, being pure
consciousness, it
appears that K. never existed (apart from consciousness).
The sequence taken is for one spontaneously awakened without a
yogic
training. For those with a yogic training, nirvikalpa samadhi is
possible
before 3. and this is the reason why Buddha warns against
samadhis. To enjoy
everlasting bliss, one has to "arrive" at 3.
I am not convinced K. is a "bad" experience for
everyone. For me, it was a
"great" experience because from my perspective, K.
isn't a goal, just an
unavoidable intermediary. Several yogis had K. awakenings, far
"worse" than
mentioned on the K. list but they were bearing patiently, knowing
the "goal"
and that there is no alternative for K..
Kundalini is a rather individual experience that will differ
for everyone. A
path of surrender means the heart chakra is opened first and
surrender
without purity isn't possible. Generally, this results in K.
being a pleasant
and blissful experience.
One has to differentiate between K. and prana. What
one experiences isn't K. but the flow(s) of prana (a form of
energy) and the
effects thereof. This prana doesn't come out of nowhere; it is
transmuted
from emotive energy (sexual energy being the main source).
The various
centers are connected with the unconscious and the conscious
mind; when
prana activates a center, the unconscious content is revealed but
not
necessarily in the form of knowledge; it can be any feeling.
sound or vision
too. From here, things will depend on one's preparation. As
surrender
"liquefies" (for lack of a better expression) the
unconscious, prana flows
like water through a straight canal. Only the knots are perceived
as a
resistance and the burden of self is becoming very
"heavy" relatively
shortly before the union of Shiva and Shakti.
It is possible to force K. by shaktipat (transfer of prana) and
this can
sometimes mean, the candidates aren't properly prepared (the
homework of
purity in thought, word and deed). So it is possible there are
obstructions
to the flow of prana and invariably it will be experienced as
unpleasantness
or worse. It is also valid for those, having a spontaneous K.
awakening, as
often they are not prepared at all.
Those without the proper frame of mind are likely to lose
control, not able
to withstand the force to express the content of the (uncleansed)
unconscious. Only those with sufficient intelligence to
understand their
condition can be properly helped - provided the helper is a jivan
mukta or
nirvani...
Kundalini is just an aspect of the Self; being enlightened before
K. is
"met", one cannot stray, experiencing that the current
of prana flushes out
all the "dirt" and remaining passive to side-effects
like siddhis. For the
other cases, it is difficult to see all secondary effects for
what they are;
often, the side-effects are taken for real, with predictable
consequences.
The transmutation of emotive energy is something every human will
meet in
life, without knowing; many will do so when mourning or having
suffered a
loss otherwise.
In transmutation, there is no such thing as fall-back; a
repetition of the path only occurs in the next incarnation and as
a rule, it
will be simpler than it was in the previous life. So it doesn't
come as a
surprise that there are K. awakened people in mental institutions
and that
many have terrible experiences, attributed to K.
Strictly speaking, one
could have known; for millennia knowledge about K. has been
available in
many cultures. One might say present day society has the wrong
priorities
with the result that a high price is paid for ignorance...
As far as my experience goes, there were never
"elevator" type risings or
sensations on the spine; burning sensations in the chakras were
frequent.
Piercing the knot of the heart was like a "wrestling";
after that I had
visions and premonitions of having to die and being reborn. Being
in a very
good health this was puzzling; this changed when the nadis on the
crown
center felt exactly like a crown, reminding of the crown of
thorns as
described in the NT. From then on (after the union of Shiva and
Shakti), K.
remains in the crown center but descends from there to the other
heart
chakra (to the right of the axis). This results in the
"forced" form of
nirvikalpa samadhi; after some time it transforms into sahaja
samadhi. The
journey this far was without any knowledge of spirituality or K;
when I came
to my senses again, the first book I could lay my hands on was
the Patanjali
sutras and it contained one comment, describing what eventually
can be
"attained next" (for lack of a better expression) - It
was in agreement with
what I knew. If this leads to the conclusion of many lives as a
yogi, it
isn't correct.
Self is the Seer, mind belongs to the seen and chakras, knots,
K.,
emotions, body-feelings etc. are part of the mind. A part that in
the course
of time can be transformed completely. Only then, it will be
clear that
there never was anything else but the Self. As a final note, I
could add
that because Self is without a cause, it cannot be attained by
meditation as
well. Although true, it is a useless statement because of the
obvious
conclusion, meditation is as useless as untying knots. What has
to happen is
the removal of a veil that seems to be real as long as one is
conscious of
its effects, but appears to have been unreal (non existent) as
soon as it
is transformed. IMO, anything that helps with the removal of the
veil is OK,
including untying knots of chakras, as long as the goal isn't
forgotten.
First, understanding that one's 'real nature' is independent
of all states,
including waking, dreaming and deep, dreamless sleep. Then one
can come to
the understanding, that everything that arouses resistance,
dislike etc., is
part of a veil called (learned) interpretation.
Instead of becoming a vessel
on the waves of emotions, one becomes aware of their arising.
This isn't
possible so well in seclusion. Thus, being engaged in daily life
becomes
meditation itself. The exception can be work, requiring full
attention; in
that case, there is the union of worker and work being done. When
the work
is done, one will experience a kind of 'aftertaste' of the bliss
of that
union. Be aware, be mindful.
If one knows the pitfalls, there is nothing against enjoying
bliss. However,
one should ask oneself, what is the value of bliss so
conditioned, that it
can only be experienced in retreat? The ideal is the jivan mukta,
the
enjoyer of perennial bliss, independent of activity.
I consider kriyas to be preparatory. If the channels are
cleaned, the
mind is pure, one's motives sincere, Kundalini will rise as an
almost
invisible, powerful hydrogen-flame; the heat will be immense and
one only
notices the piercing of knots. Under these conditions, the 'ride
with
Kundalini' is a great joy.
I would define a non-meditator as one who has done what has to be
done:
cleaned the channels, attained a pure and unwavering mind, rising
Kundalini.
This is the 'formula for success'; one's activities won't get in
the way -
it is my experience. The very thought that filling the day with
meditation
could 'improve' things is a serious impediment :) On the other
hand, I once
read in a book by swami Sivananda something like : "Although
Sri Aurobindo
advocates to realize amidst society, he himself remained in a
locked room
for twenty years" so it is always important to know if
something is based on
experience.
The big improvement comes when daily life has become practice of
meditation.
The way one is experiencing and interpreting experiences depends
on oneself;
thus, daily life can provide a direct feedback. What seemed to be
an
obstacle first, becomes a means for progress, when understood.
A little reality check first. Suppose, you suddenly hear a child,
screaming
in agony. What would happen to the bliss and what would you do?
The
perennial bliss is what one is looking for. It is without
beginning or end,
independent of activity.
It is impossible to describe the Self. I am
realizing now that scriptures are more than vague about 'how to
get there'.
If one's progression of K. is more than average, one will find
out that one
is 'thrown into non-duality'. There is no choice - it just
happens.
It starts with unavoidable nirvikalpa samadhis and finally the
samadhi isn't
left - slowly the world is 'added' to it, in a different version
- it is no
longer experience. Although body-feelings remain, they are no
more than
'clouds' that never obscure the 'Light'. So I was not referring
to samadhis
and the memory of it, but to a permanent state - memory is used
for
'dialectic functioning' and nothing else. It is not memory as you
are used
to.
To give an example: If I step on a sharp pin and the pin
enters the
foot, I can still feel it. The next day, I can remember having
the foot
pierced by a pin. But there is no memory whatsoever of pain.
Another
example: If you like salsa music, you will have CD's of it. If
there is a
free concert in town, you go to enjoy it. If I say "I like
salsa music" I
don't have CD's and I did not go to the free concert on the
beach. Yet I
"like" salsa music. Until I joined the K. list I had
assumed my K.
progression was 'normal'. It became evident that it isn't -
apparently there
exists a kind of turbo mode. For me, 'getting into' the state of
non-dualism
has been a natural, unavoidable process. There can be a reason
for this: the
mental mode "think this, do that" was absent. My
'mental mode' has always
been: Think this, do this - think that, do that.
In modern language the process one is going through with K.
could be called
elimination and substitution. What is eliminated is
"self", to be
substituted by "Self, God, Goddess, Void (your
choice)". Everything
connected to "self" too is substituted by its
"divine" equivalents. So all
selfish love will ultimately vanish, only to be replaced by
divine love that
shines like the sun, shining equally for all. This means that all
selfishness connected with one's emotions will vanish as well,
the emotions
themselves remaining.
This state, with emotions, but no longer effecting self, is
detachment. Only
after nirvikalpa samadhi, this state can be permanent. A mark of
detachment
is the impossibility to remember one's feelings, as they no
longer will
leave impressions behind. Detachment is positive; one is aware of
love in
various of its divine aspects. Even this state isn't lasting;
ultimately one
will be drowned in this love, becoming it and therefore no longer
being
aware of it. It is complete detachment and the dilemma for the
Sufi; being
almost addicted to the love of God it is very difficult to give
it up.
The process of "eliminate and substitute" isn't
gradual; the more one
(unknowingly) "opposes", the more discontinuous is will
seem. Ideally, one
is only aware of "pleasant" K. side-effects, piercing
knots and the fears
arising before entering samadhis; in practice, things can be very
different.