Click here to go to the next issue.

his herstory
with love from
aleks

i am a blind reflection
in the mottled glass of time
rehearsing secret particles
of inspirations fine.
i look into the eyes of earth and
see forever sky,
i reach into the countless stars
and bid the thought to fly.

what love is enough love?
is it all? is it more?
when i hear the waves, i wander
till i find the shore.
what love is all love?
is it here? a waking dream?
love ends time
when countless hands create
eternity.

when i write my last song
what will be the rhyme?
love will be a symphony
the chorus out of time.
when i take discordant terms
i will stumble round to find
wordless peace and truth
love wrote upon my humming mind.

aleks berlin
from fearlessly yours

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jerry:

This list is a chameleon, as anyone who has spent a few
months here knows. It takes on the blended colors of the
active contributors, and no one person dominates always. The
colors the list takes now are like rich sunrises and
sunsets.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

aleks:

i too, am touched by Kristi's story. it is the "plain ordinary
details" that
evince the extraordinary opportunities we are given-- opportunities to
be our
true nature. if you think about the possibility of extending love in
this
way, if you *think* about it--it might seem like an impossible and
horrific
task. but when faced with another's suffering, and when the thinking
and
judging go out the window, there is nothing to do but help. it has
quite
amazed me that i have been able to face situations which i previously
would
have thought myself unable to bear. then the big love takes over, the
love
which contains us all, and holds us, as we hold our loved ones.

i have a brother who very much fits the description of kristi's
friend. i
would only hope that along the way, when i cannot been near, he falls
into
such loving arms. if i thought about it, could i have faced my heroine
addicted, psychotic brother--taken him for food, visited him in prison
and
various institutions? or my mom-- could i have dreamed i could bathe
her and
take care of her as one would a two year old? could i have cared for
my
brothers as they grew old before their time and succumbed to the aids
virus?
for all of the talk and theorizing about stopping thought and being
"that,"
and not doing, these are the moments when *that* occurs --with a
spontanaety
which leaves one with wonder long after. how did i do that? i would
have
never thought myself that strong. i didn't do it. kristi didn't do
this.
her story is a wonderful example of not being the doer.

we talk. we suffer. we rejoice. we are broken and healed.
hemmingway
said, "the world breaks everyone. afterwards some are strong at the
broken
places."

who can figure it out? kristi just *knows.* i honour that.
blessings to all,

aleks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Skye

I cried that strange undivided joy and sadness when you
wrote
this Aleks....

....then the big love takes over, the love
which contains us all, and holds us, as we hold our loved
ones.

I may never be able to tell my story.....it is too unusual
and can't be understood without This. I am deeply grateful
for yours and Kristie's beautiful posts. They have opened an
ever widening understanding of who the non doer is, in me.
It is always that which I can't find words for. That which
motivates me to comfort those who are afraid to love when
others can not bear them. It has made the unacceptable a
joy to embrace tirelessly. It is that which fills my sails
and takes others with me over their sea of pain as we look
playfully together. This always was the healer. This always
has blessed my life.

Thank you both so much,
Skye
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


From: DON Gould <peondon@yahoo.com>

Hi all,

I am Peondon or just peon, just joined yesterday
although some posts have been read in the past.

By way of introduction I submit this which is what and
who I AM 'today'.

Integration, which, on closer examination is not
really integration, for the 'illusion' of seperateness
was our doings.

Our conditioning of thinking we are body, mind, soul,
spirit....four parts of a whole.

Sometimes the hardest illusions to overcome to a
return to THIS is the one instigated by Religion.

I say return because a small child does not know other
than THIS....what IS.

No ideas of spirit, soul, mind, body. Just IS. Always
such Joy to watch a child awaken and greet the new day
as though it would escape and be forever lost if they
did not personally greet it with acceptance. And joy!

While we adults reluctantly drag our wretched 'bodies'
out of the sack. Wonder who the "our" is?

Splits, divisions, seperateness....all "learned'
things because of our curiosity, desire to understand.
Understanding through dividing.

Nothing wrong with that... so long as one remembers
the Whole from which the parts were disected.

Nothing wrong with 'me', soul, body, mind, spirit,
Ego, just need remember the importance of the whole
from which we 'created' them.

Got to put Humty Dumpty together again.

Gotta rememember he had a Big Fall first.

Seperated him from God, Onenes, All, Self!

Now seperates him from THIS and in so doing makes him
unhappy...wanting THAT.

Ain't THIS just how life IS, an unbroken chain.

A chain of causes following the First Cause,....more
untrue Seperation.

There is but ONE cause. LOVE

Awakening to THIS by dropping That. Becoming by
becoming 'not'.

Forty years in the desert, forty days in meditation
and fasting, or forty seconds in abyss.

Leaves us with THIS.

Lots of posts this morning to read...may have to go to
digest mode.

~peon~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Antoine:

I find interesting this statement:
"Identical twins can be linked to the generalization of the Pauli
Exclusion Principle
in that no two objects can occupy the same space, and so the these twins
manifest
the one object in TWO spaces! "

Jan:

But strictly speaking there are no identical twins. As every police
officer will tell you, they have different fingerprints. So, different
objects after all.

Antoine:

Beautiful,

So i declare the Pauli Exclusion Principle a nondual principle. Objects
come to be so different after all, that one comes to realize that
nothing really may distinguish one object from the other. Strictly
specking my finger print is never the same from one time or space to the
other. I have no twin in time and space.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

aleks:

my mom wrote her last poem when she was 57. it goes like this:

"oh, but i see the dark forest
my mind is dark forest.
but what is it? it is
only here but
what is it? who am i? am i a man
no
this isnt.
a woman? what is it? what is my name-- isn't that.
am i an animal
i love little animals
i don't want to eat them. but what is it?
i can't say it.
who am i"
--carole jean williams
one who knew keats and yeats and shakespeare--versed only in the truth,
not
the words of ramana . . .

blessings and love,
aleks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On UG Krishnamurti:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce:

Never underestimate the
power and value of one
who delivers a kick in
the ass(umptions), even
if (s)he is personally
quite insane...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rob:

A while back I read UG's "Mystique of Enlightenment," which is on the
web at
http://www.well.com/user/jct/mystiq.htm

I loved it but this paragraph almost stopped me:

"If you practice any system of mind control, automatically the 'you' is
there, and through this it is continuing. Have you ever meditated,
really
seriously meditated? Or do you know anyone who has? Nobody does. If you
seriously meditate, you'll wind up in the loony bin. Nor can you
practice
mindfulness trying to be aware every moment of your life. You cannot be
aware; you and awareness cannot co-exist. If you could be in a state of
awareness for one second by the clock, once in your life, the continuity
would be snapped, the illusion of the experiencing structure, the 'you',
would collapse, and everything would fall into the natural rhythm. In
this
state you do not know what you are looking at -- that is awareness. If
you
recognize what you are looking at, you are there, again experiencing the
old, what you know. "

Does he really mean people don't do this? I mean, they do, don't they?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Petros:

In discussing UG's experience of not knowing what a thing "is," it's
intriguing that Adi Da has made this an important part of his teaching,
at
least he did some years ago. He calls it "Divine Ignorance" and it has
to
do with the fact that in truth, no one really knows what a thing "IS" in
itself, not really. "You don't know what a single thing IS," he writes
someplace. I remember the words quite precisely. The statement had a
big
impact on me. It's something to chew on for a long time.


On a tangent . . .

I've been getting into Scientology lately (the tech, not the church) and
LRH's whole shtick was turning what are basically koans (paradoxical
statements) into "processes," or exercises to use to get to truth. If
one
wanted to make a process or TR (Training Routine) out of this, you could
audit the command/inquiry, "What is this? What is this?" while pointing
the
PC (preclear) to any number of different items in a room. Just keep
asking
the question over and over for a few minutes or hours or whatever. In
auditing, you never evaluate the pc's answers, just acknowledge them
with a
simple "okay." You keep running a process as long as a positive change
in
tone can be noted and no longer. I have a feeling that this could be a
powerful process for running out aberrated knowingness and getting the
pc to
realization. Anyone's welcome to give it a go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harsha:

In the west, Emanuel Kant, the great German philosopher, pointed out
in his book, Critique of Pure Reason (I think), that the "Thing in It
Self"
can never be known as it must be perceived through the instrument of the
mind and the mind is apriori limited to perceiving in a certain way. In
the
Self-Experience of the nondual mystic, the mind is absent, and
therefore,
the Thing In It Self "Perceives" It Self. In this sense the Perceiver Is
the
Perception Is the Being. All One.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jan:

Identification with the hero of one's thoughts / dreams /
expectations / "best" experiences etc. Belonging to, being
rooted in, denotes the same: cutting one's roots, giving up
identification, apparently doesn't come easy. It is the reason
why lineage and discipleship rarely "produces" prototypes like
Buddha, Jesus or Krishna.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don:

Don't know who you guys are talkimg about in "UG" but
I do think I know what it is ti which he refers.

No two people experience the same thing in Awakening,
Beyond meditation is pure being in which a knowledge
of the divine is manifested.

In visions there is normaly one last image of the mind
projested upon hte screen of the mind. IT may be Jesus
or lotus petals or a snake for that matter in Hindu
fashion...anythinh revered in the mind of the one
transcending mind.

Many Garus deny meditation has occured until the mind
is transcended, others refer to attempts to transcend
as meditation. And so it is but a matter of semantics.

The latter interpretation is much more useful as so
many occurances transpire in route to Realization,
OBEs, Ndes, evrty imaginable psychic phenomenon known
may occur at some point.

Many times seekers are so interested in the lessor
phenomenon that they quit the journey.

In any case the mind is sick with attachments and
conditionings which has served us well in attaining an
experience in living, education, sociatal limitations
etc,....but a sick mind cannot heal itself and so must
be shed for sa few seconds of cleasing and refilling.

And when its all said and done nothing has changed but
the one who experienced.

Perhaps as a new subscriber I am out of bounds so best
lay back and await responses.

Before parting however I would caution anyone from
taking a Garu. All anyon will ever need in the
seeking is already within, cannot be "learned" and so
how can a Garu "teach" it?

Best to take a "so what and or if" attitude or the
other extreme of believing head is under water and one
cannot breath unless one Experiences immediately.

When Experienceing comes one is uttterly amazed at how
easynit was, what small a journey it was, hoiw little
is changed, etc.

Peace<:~()peon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gene to Rob:

Re: Rob/Taking notes at the opera

>Yes, I think you're right. Have you been in a state like this yet? I've
been in states that approach this to a certain extent; where there is no
way
to think of moving toward anything because there is no way to think of
the
present state in relation to anything else -- it can't even be assessed
as a
here and now. But i have so far always retained a sense of
individuality.
(So far as I can remember anyway. I think I may not remember much of
what
happens in these states.)

>-- Rob


Hi Rob...

I have no criticisms whatsoever of your path or ways. I was impressed by
your introductory posting; you seem to be undergoing experiences which
in
many ways parallel my own.

In the subsequent discussions, and your replies in them, the only point
that stands out for me, is that "you do not need to take notes".

By this I mean, that as we experience, if we take note of what we
experience, that we create a remove from what we experience; we are
indexing what we experience _to what we have already experienced_. This
is
how the comparison, mentioned by Dan, serves to enforce separation.

I am not talking about 'noticing' what we experience, I am talking about
'noting' what we experience. Think of the times that you have noticed
that
one who is taking notes during a lecture will request that the speaker
repeat phrases or 'slow down'. You may have noticed that one who does
that,
does not 'get the lesson', but instead assumes that a later review of
the
taken notes, will allow the lesson to be gotten. Or imagine taking notes
at
the opera, instead of 'simply' relaxing into the musical massage.

In any event, my original impulse was to write to you, and offer that
your
very honestly expressed fear of 'losing it', is indeed the fulcrum of
the
issue. Not knowing 'what to expect' at that fateful moment of 'total
oneness with what-is', indeed is an inhibitor. The fear... that the
'note-taker' will be 'taken away', and that one will become lost in an
undefinable nonlinear universe, is indeed a real thing to deal with.

I want to say, that (it) is actually 'harmless'... even 'benevolent',
and
in fact 'loving'. It is all, this is all, in reality, a 'gentle story'.

Others may point to the unceasing world-dream dramas and say, "oh yeah,
then what about THAT?", and I say to them, as I point to me, "and what
about THIS?". I see no need to go very far into comparison, but if
comparison is being made, _you_ are for you, the final arbiter. If you
can
know and respect that, you have a perfect springboard; you will know, at
the time, what is personal and what is impersonal. Eventually, you will
know the nature of the impersonal, and you will know, how to _act_ like
there is actually a personal there. If you do not act like there is a
personal, the people you are with will 'lose it', on the spot.

Acting like it matters,

And it does matter,

If it matters to you,

If there is a you,

for it to matter to...


Long lost, never lost...

==Gene Poole==

top of page