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with love from aleks

parallel we stood
obsequious to dreams--
divided--
in mind,
the sacred wood grew poetry
unrecited.
songs that we knew
told us what we're coming to
beneath the ragged moon.

we traced the woods of old
looking out for words below and
watched the past unfold--
to run? or face the phantom blows?
here time had no sting. no death
no age
no anything. the moment took us in.

is there anything better?
is there anything new?
is there time with no wonder?
another window? a different view?
is there anything here--
beneath the ragged moon?

sleep was sweet release,
unattended fantasy--
but rarefied the wood
woke books to hear and songs to see.
in time we would know
the obvious but yet to show
the ragged moon
unfolds.

"song from inside out"
aleks berlin
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Two letters from Kristie:


Really, lists are so monodimensional....there is little
inflection or expression or all the nuances of "face to
face" communication that suggest a broader message or intent
than words sometimes convey....some of you do this really
well....I admire those who do this for it....but, I think
the (spiritual) point is....that we are, none of us, what we
say or do or think or convey....we are something beyond
that, whole and holy and pure and tender and abundant...our
daily encounters, whether in person or in writing, are
simply lessons to each other and ourselves about the degree
to which we have accepted that Truth...or...the degree to
which we hold other values or ideas more dear....and....the
degree to which we confuse a person's spirit with their
personality and blind ourselves and them to the truth of who
they are....

This list has certainly pushed all my buttons and I have
seen myself clearly, both the holy purity, and the mortal
bullshit....but I don't try to hide either....it's up to you
what you choose to see....

My time in the streets and among the underclass and the
despised showed me how easy it is to celebrate in joyous
affirmation every aspect of humanity, whether it appears to
the physical and cultural eye as good or evil....I still
have a hard time with this among people for whom I have
established expectations.....self-proclaimed healers and
wise people, seekers and knowledgeable people, successful
people and rich people, who think they "know" are an open
invitation for my suspicion and cynicism....(they don't
invite this, of course, it's my button).....I have a harder
time "loving" people who have all the benny's than I do
"loving" people who have nothing, expect nothing and have
come to terms with being nothing....which, of course, means
that I still don't have but the vaguest clue of what Love
really is.....

I have assumed that the truly wise person and healer will be
infinitely compassionate and kind, gentle and insightful,
tender and skilled at eliciting a response from a place of
value and worth, not judgement or cynicism.....this
attachment to compassion...(which I clearly lack in some
places) may be an agenda....I am letting go...

I can only say over and over and over again.....form and
substance, difference and sameness are the only arenas that
count......we should be aware of when we think that changing
form has changed the essence....we think this often....yes,
I hold this list to a higher standard of consistency and
integrity than other communities of thought.....because the
list claims, collectively and individually, to have
insight....I continue here because, I like it....I like the
bullshit and the insight....sometimes I like nailing the
bullshit, as I see it, because I know i'll get a real clear
picture of my own agendas in the process....and I am always
fascinated by how innately driven we are to judge and
evaluate rather than to be truly non-dual which is the
non-evaluative experience of experiences....Still Seeking.

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You are the first person to ever validate that experience
(of being homeless yet living in a space of love and
surrender))...thank you so much for seeing
that....translating it back into the "real" world, the world
of things and schedules and worldy expectations and
judgement from the powers that be, courts and judges and
such, has been much more challenging than being
homeless.....I think at that time, I was in a total state of
Grace....it wasn't a headspace I created but it was one I
was receptive to.

Just prior to my "downfall" I had said to God, ( at that
time I felt a sense of richness in my life, and a fullness
of spirit, a strong leading to share, and a capacity to
reach others - not through preaching but through loving and
accepting them) "I think I am ready, if there is work you
want me to do, I think I have the strength and the wisdom to
turn to You, I am ready." Be careful what you ask for!

Two weeks later, I was homeless, my worldly life shattered
and everything I ever thought or felt was upside down, and I
had no place to turn but Grace. For the next two months I
conducted what I called a "guerilla ministry" in the
streets. I don't think I ever mentioned God's name to
anyone but I fed people, brought them out of O.D's, fed
their children, intervened in battery and assaults of
various sorts and floated, floated in great joy and peace.
Then it was over, the Grace lifted and all I could see was
the hell, wherein I began to recognize my own demons.

I still believe that there was purpose to all this and that
i have more "work" to do; but for now the work is largely to
integrate my mystical and miracle experiences into every day
reality.....I would not recommend this path to anybody - all
paths work and are equal in value....but I don't know how
else I would have ever been brought to see what Truth and
Awareness are. I have struggled and almost abandoned my
faith several times in the last two years....in fact I
abandoned it again last week....but everytime I let it
go...it comes back on its own and lifts me and reminds me
that all is perfect exactly as it is......Thank you, again.

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