95.
Accept Life as it Comes
Questioner:
I was here last year. Now I am again before you. What makes me come
I really ~o not
know,
but somehow I cannot forget you.
Nisargadatta:
Some forget, some do not, according to their destinies, which you
may call chance, if you
prefer.
Questioner:
Between chance and destiny there is a basic difference.
Nisargadatta:
Only in your mind. In fact, you do not know what causes what?
Destiny is only a blanket word to
cover
up your ignorance. Chance is another word.
Questioner:
Without knowledge of causes and their results can there be freedom?
Nisargadatta:
Causes and results are infinite in number and variety. Everything
affects everything. In this
universe,
when one thing changes, everything changes. Hence the great power of
man in changing
the
world by changing himself.
Questioner:
According to your own words, you have, by the grace of your Guru,
changed radically some
forty
years ago. Yet the world remains as it had been before.
Nisargadatta:
My world has changed completely. Yours remains the same, for you
have not changed.
Questioner:
How is it that your change has not affected me?
Nisargadatta:
Because there was no communion between us. Do not consider yourself
as separate from me
and
we shall at once share in the common state.
Questioner:
I have some property in the United States which I intend to sell and
buy some land in the
Himalayas.
I shall build a house, lay out a garden, get two or three cows and
live quietly. People tell
me
that property and quiet are not compatible, that I shall at once get
into trouble with officials,
neighbours
and thieves. Is it inevitable?
Nisargadatta:
The least you can expect is an endless succession of visitors who
will make your abode into a
free
and open guesthouse. Better accept your life as it shapes, go home
and look after your wife
with
love and care. Nobody else needs you. Your dreams of glory will land
you in more trouble.
Questioner:
It is not glory that I seek. I seek Reality.
Nisargadatta:
For this you need a well-ordered and quiet life, peace of mind and
immense earnestness. At
every
moment whatever comes to you unasked, comes from God and will surely
help you, if you
make
the fullest use of it. It is only what you strive for, out of your
own imagination and desire, that
gives
you trouble.
Questioner:
Is destiny the same as grace?
Nisargadatta:
Absolutely. Accept life as it comes and you will find it a blessing.
Questioner:
I can accept my own life. How can I accept the sort of life others
are compelled to live?
Nisargadatta:
You are accepting it anyhow. The sorrows of others do not interfere
with your pleasures. If you
were
really compassionate, you would have abandoned long ago all
self-concern and entered the
state
from which alone you can really help.
Questioner:
If I have a big house and enough land, I may create an Ashram, with
individual rooms; common
meditation
hall, canteen, library, office etc.
Nisargadatta:
Ashrams are not made, they happen. You cannot start nor prevent
them, as you cannot start or
stop
a river. Too many factors are involved in the creation of a
successful Ashram and your inner
maturity
is only one of them. Of course, if you are ignorant of your real
being, whatever you do must
turn
to ashes. You cannot imitate a Guru and get away with it. All
hypocrisy will end in disaster.
Questioner:
What is the harm in behaving like a saint even before being one?
Nisargadatta:
Rehearsing saintliness is a sadhana. It is perfectly all right.
provided no merit is claimed.
Questioner:
How can I know whether I am able to start an Ashram unless I try?
Nisargadatta:
As long as you take yourself to be a person, a body and a mind,
separate from the stream of
life,
having a will of its own, pursuing its own aims, you are living
merely on the surface and
whatever
you do will be short-lived and of little value, mere straw to feed
the flames of vanity. You
must
put in true worth before you can expect something real. What is your
worth?
Questioner:
By what measure shall I measure it?
Nisargadatta:
Look at the content of your mind. You are what you think about. Are
you not most of the time
busy
with your own little person and its daily needs?
The
value of regular meditation is that it takes you away from the
humdrum of daily routine and
reminds
you that you are not what you believe yourself to be. But even
remembering is not enough
--
action must follow conviction. Don't be like the rich man who has
made a detailed will, but refuses
to
die.
Questioner:
Is not gradualness the law of life?
Nisargadatta:
Oh, no. The preparation alone is gradual, the change itself is
sudden and complete. Gradual
change
does not take you to a new level of conscious being. You need
courage to let go.
Questioner:
I admit it is courage that I lack.
Nisargadatta:
It is because you are not fully convinced. Complete conviction
generates both desire and
courage.
And meditation is the art of achieving faith through understanding.
In meditation you
consider
the teaching received, in all its aspects and repeatedly, until out
of clarity confidence is
born
and, with confidence, action. Conviction and action are inseparable.
If action does not follow
conviction,
examine your convictions, don't accuse yourself of lack of courage.
Self-depreciation will
take
you nowhere. Without clarity and emotional assent of what use is
will?
Questioner:
What do you mean by emotional assent? Am I not to act against my
desires?
Nisargadatta:
You will not act against your desires. Clarity is not enough. Energy
comes from love -- you must
love
to act -- whatever the shape and object of your love. Without
clarity and charity courage is
destructive.
People at war are often wonderfully courageous, but what of it?
Questioner:
I see quite clearly that all I want is a house in a garden where I
shall live in peace. Why should I
not
act on my desire?
Nisargadatta:
By all means, act. But do not forget the inevitable, unexpected.
Without rain your garden will not
flourish.
You need courage for adventure.
Questioner:
I need time to collect my courage, don't hustle me. Let me ripen for
action.
Nisargadatta:
The entire approach is wrong. Action delayed is action abandoned.
There may be other
chances
for other actions, but the present moment is lost -- irretrievably
lost. All preparation is for
the
future -- you cannot prepare for the present.
Questioner:
What is wrong with preparing for the future?
Nisargadatta:
Acting in the now is not much helped by your preparations. Clarity
is now, action is now.
Thinking
of being ready impedes action. And action is the touchstone of
reality.
Questioner:
Even when we act without conviction?
Nisargadatta:
You cannot live without action, and behind each action there is some
fear or desire. Ultimately,
all
you do is based on your conviction that the world is real and
independent of yourself. Were you
convinced
of the contrary, your behaviour would have been quite different.
Questioner:
There is nothing wrong with my convictions; my actions are shaped by
circumstances.
Nisargadatta:
In other words, you are convinced of the reality of your
circumstances, of the world in which you
live.
Trace the world to its source and you will find that before the
world was, you were and when
the
world is no longer, you remain. Find your timeless being and your
action will bear it testimony.
Did
you find it?
Questioner:
No, I did not.
Nisargadatta:
Then what else have you to do? Surely, this is the most urgent task.
You cannot see yourself as
independent
of everything unless you drop everything and remain unsupported and
undefined.
Once
you know yourself, it is immaterial what you do, but to realise your
independence, you must
test
it by letting go all you were dependent on. The realised man lives
on the level of the absolutes;
his
wisdom, love and courage are complete, there is nothing relative
about him. Therefore he must
prove
himself by tests more stringent, undergo trials more demanding. The
tester, the tested and
the
set up for testing are all within; it is an inner drama to which
none can be a party.
Questioner:
Crucifixion, death and resurrection -- we are on familiar grounds! I
have read, heard and talked
about
it endlessly, but to do it I find myself incapable.
Nisargadatta:
Keep quiet, undisturbed, and the wisdom and the power will come on
their own. You need not
hanker.
Wait in silence of the heart and mind. It is very easy to be quiet,
but willingness is rare. You
people
want to become supermen overnight. Stay without ambition, without
the least desire,
exposed,
vulnerable, unprotected, uncertain and alone, completely open to and
welcoming life as it
happens,
without the selfish conviction that all must yield you pleasure or
profit, material or so-
called
spiritual.
Questioner:
I respond to what you say, but I just do not see how it is done.
Nisargadatta:
If you know how to do it, you will not do it. Abandon every attempt,
just be; don't strive, don't
struggle,
let go every support, hold on to the blind sense of being, brushing
off all else. This is
enough.
Questioner:
How is this brushing done? The more I brush off, the more it comes
to the surface.
Nisargadatta:
Refuse attention, let things come and go. Desires and thoughts are
also things. Disregard them.
Since
immemorial time the dust of events was covering the clear mirror of
your mind, so that only
memories
you could see. Brush off the dust before it has time to settle; this
will lay bare the old
layers
until the true nature of your mind is discovered. It is all very
simple and comparatively easy;
be
earnest and patient, that is all. Dispassion, detachment, freedom
from desire and fear, from all
self-concern,
mere awareness -- free from memory and expectation -- this is the
state of mind to
which
discovery can happen. After all, liberation is but the freedom to
discover.