35.
Greatest Guru is Your Inner Self
Questioner:
On all sides I hear that freedom from desires and inclinations is
the first condition of
self-realisation.
But I find the condition impossible of fulfilment. Ignorance of
oneself causes desires
and
desires perpetuate ignorance. A truly vicious circle!
Nisargadatta:
There are no conditions to fulfil. There is nothing to be done,
nothing to be given up. Just
look
and remember, whatever you perceive is not you, nor yours. It is
there in the field of
consciousness,
but you are not the field and its contents, nor even the knower of
the field. It is your
idea
that you have to do things that entangle you in the results of your
efforts -- the motive, the
desire,
the failure to achieve, the sense of frustration -- all this holds
you back. Simply look at
whatever
happens and know that you are beyond it.
Questioner:
Does it mean I should abstain from doing anything?
Nisargadatta:
You cannot! What goes on must go on. If you stop suddenly, you will
crash.
Questioner:
Is it a matter of the known and the knower becoming one?
Nisargadatta:
Both are ideas in the mind, and words that express them. There is no
self in them. The self is
neither,
between nor beyond. To look for it on the mental level is futile.
Stop searching, and see -- it
is
here and now -- it is that 'I am' you know so well. All you need to
do is to cease taking yourself to
be
within the field of consciousness. Unless you have already
considered these matters carefully,
listening
to me once will not do. Forget your past experiences and
achievements, stand naked,
exposed
to the winds and rains of life and you will have a chance.
Questioner:
Has devotion (bhakti) any place in your teaching?
Nisargadatta:
When you are not well, you go to a physician who tells you what is
wrong and what is the
remedy.
If you have confidence in him, it makes things simple: you take the
medicine, follow the diet
restrictions
and get well. But if you do not trust him, you may still take a
chance, or you may study
medicine
yourself! In all cases it is your desire for recovery that moves
you, not the physician.
Without
trust there is no peace. Somebody or other you always trust -- it
may be your mother, or
your
wife. Of all the people the knower of the self, the liberated man,
is the most trust-worthy. But
merely
to trust is not enough. You must also desire. Without desire for
freedom of what use is the
confidence
that you can acquire freedom? Desire and confidence must go
together. The stronger
your
desire, the easier comes the help. The greatest Guru is helpless as
long as the disciple is not
eager
to learn. Eagerness and earnestness are all-important. Confidence
will come with experience.
Be
devoted to your goal -- and devotion to him who can guide you will
follow. If your desire and
confidence
are strong, they will operate and take you to your goal, for you
will not cause delay by
hesitation
and compromise.
The
greatest Guru is your inner self. Truly, he is the supreme teacher.
He alone can take you to
your
goal and he alone meets you at the end of the road. Confide in him
and you need no outer
Guru.
But again you must have the strong desire to find him and do nothing
that will create
obstacles
and delays. And do not waste energy and time on regrets. Learn from
your mistakes and
do
not repeat them.
Questioner:
If you do not mind my asking a personal question...?
Nisargadatta:
Yes, go ahead.
Questioner:
I see you sitting on an antelope skin. How does it tally with
non-violence?
Nisargadatta:
All my working life I was a cigarette-maker, helping people to spoil
their health. And in front of
my
door the municipality has put up a public lavatory, spoiling my
health. In this violent world how
can
one keep away from violence of some kind or other?
Questioner:
Surely all avoidable violence should be avoided. And yet in India
every holy man has his tiger,
lion,
leopard or antelope skin to sit on.
Nisargadatta:
Maybe because no plastics were available in ancient times and a skin
was best to keep the
damp
away. Rheumatism has no charm, even for a saint! Thus the tradition
arose that for lengthy
meditations
a skin is needed. Just like the drum-hide in a temple, so is the
antelope skin of a Yogi.
We
hardly notice it.
Questioner:
But the animal had to be killed.
Nisargadatta:
I have never heard of a Yogi killing a tiger for his hide. The
killers are not Yogis and the Yogis are not killers.
Questioner:
Should you not express your disapproval by refusing to sit on a
skin?
Nisargadatta:
What an idea! I disapprove of the entire universe, why only a skin?
Questioner:
What is wrong with the universe?
Nisargadatta:
Forgetting your Self is the greatest injury; all the calamities flow
from it. Take care of the most
important,
the lesser will take care of itself. You do not tidy up a dark room.
You open the windows
first.
Letting in the light makes everything easy. So, let us wait with
improving others until we have
seen
ourselves as we are -- and have changed. There is no need to turn
round and round in
endless
questioning; find yourself and everything will fall into its proper
place.
Questioner:
The urge to return to the source is very rare. Is it at all natural?
Nisargadatta:
Outgoing is natural in the beginning, ingoing -- in the end. But in
reality the two are one, just like
breathing
in and out are one.
Questioner:
In the same way are not the body and the dweller in the body one?
Nisargadatta:
Events in time and space -- birth and death, cause and effect --
these may be taken as one; but
the
body and the embodied are not of the same order of reality. The body
exists in time and space,
transient
and limited, while the dweller is timeless and spaceless, eternal
and all-pervading. To
identify
the two is a grievous mistake and the cause of endless suffering.
You can speak of the mind
and
body as one, but the body-mind is not the underlying reality.
Questioner:
Whoever he may be, the dweller is in control of the body and,
therefore, responsible for it.
Nisargadatta:
There is a universal power which is in control and is responsible.
Questioner:
And so, I can do as I like and put the blame on some universal
power? How easy!
Nisargadatta:
Yes, very easy. Just realise the One Mover behind all that moves and
leave all to Him. If you do
not
hesitate, or cheat, this is the shortest way to reality. Stand
without desire and fear, relinquishing
all
control and all responsibility.
Questioner:
What madness!
Nisargadatta:
Yes, divine madness. What is wrong in letting go the illusion of
personal control and personal
responsibility?
Both are in the mind only. Of course, as long as you imagine
yourself to be in
control,
you should also imagine yourself to be responsible. One implies the
other.
Questioner:
How can the universal be responsible for the particular?
Nisargadatta:
All life on earth depends on the sun. Yet you cannot blame the sun
for all that happens, though
it
is the ultimate cause. Light causes the colour of the flower, but it
neither controls, nor is
responsible
for it directly. It makes it possible, that is all.
Questioner:
What I do not like in all this is taking refuge in some universal
power.
Nisargadatta:
You cannot quarrel with facts.
Questioner:
Whose facts? Yours or mine?
Nisargadatta:
Yours. You cannot deny my facts, for you do not know them. Could you
know them, you would
not
deny them. Here lies the trouble. You take your imagining for facts
and my facts for imagination.
I
know for certain that all is one. Differences do not separate.
Either you are responsible for nothing,
or
for everything. To imagine that you are in control and responsible
for one body only is the
aberration
of the body-mind.
Questioner:
Still, you are limited by your body.
Nisargadatta:
Only in matters pertaining to the body. This I do not mind. It is
like enduring the seasons of the
year.
They come, they go -- they hardly affect me. In the same way
body-minds come and go -- life
is
forever in search of new expressions.
Questioner:
As long as you do not put all the burden of evil on God, I am
satisfied. There may be a God for
all
I know, but to me he is a concept projected by the human mind. He
may be a reality to you, but
to
me society is more real than God, for I am both its creature and its
prisoner. Your values are
wisdom
and compassion; society's sagacious selfishness. I live in a world
quite different from yours.
Nisargadatta:
None compels.
Questioner:
None compels you, but I am compelled. My world is an evil world,
full of tears, toil and pain. To
explain
it away by the intellectualising, by putting forth theories of
evolution and karma is merely
adding
insult to injury. The God of an evil world is a cruel God.
Nisargadatta:
You are the god of your world and you are both stupid and cruel. Let
God be a concept -- your
own
creation. Find out who you are, how did you come to live, longing
for truth, goodness and
beauty
in a world full of evil. Of what use is your arguing for or against
God. when you just do not
know
who is God and what are you talking about. The God born of fear and
hope, shaped by desire
and
imagination, cannot be the Power That is, the Mind and the Heart of
the universe.
Questioner:
I agree that the world I live in and the God I believe in are both
creatures of imagination. But in
what
way are they created by desire? Why do I imagine a world so painful
and a God so indifferent?
What
is wrong with me that I should torture myself so cruelly? The
enlightened man comes and tells
me:
'it is but a dream to put an end to', but is he not himself a part
of the dream? I find myself
trapped
and see no way out. You say you are free. Of what are you free? For
heaven's sake, don't
feed
me on words, enlighten me, help me to wake up, since it is you who
sees me tossing in my
sleep.
Nisargadatta:
When I say I am free, I merely state a fact. If you are an adult,
you are free from infancy. I am
free
from all description and identification. Whatever you may hear, see,
or think of, I am not that. I
am
free from being a percept, or a concept.
Questioner:
Still, you have a body and you depend on it.
Nisargadatta:
Again you assume that your point of view is the only correct one. I
repeat: I was not, am not,
shall
not be a body. To me this is a fact. I too was under the illusion of
having been born, but my
Guru
made me see that birth and death are mere ideas -- birth is merely
the idea: 'I have a body'.
And
death -- 'I have lost my body'. Now, when I know I am not a body,
the body may be there or
may
not -- what difference does it make? The body-mind is like a room.
It is there, but I need not
live
in it all the time.
Questioner:
Yet, there is a body and you do take care of it.
Nisargadatta:
The power that created the body takes care of it.
Questioner:
We are jumping from level to level all the time.
Nisargadatta:
There are two levels to consider -- the physical -- of facts, and
mental -- of ideas. I am beyond
both.
Neither your facts, nor ideas are mine. What I see is beyond. Cross
over to my side and see
with
me.
Questioner:
What I want to say is very simple. As long as I believe: 'I am the
body', I must not say: 'God will
look
after my body'. God will not. He will let it starve, sicken and die.
Nisargadatta:
What else do you expect from a mere body? Why are you so anxious
about it?
Because
you think you are the body, you want it indestructible. You can
extend its life considerably
by
appropriate practices, but for what ultimate good?
Questioner:
It is better to live long and healthy. It gives us a chance to avoid
the mistakes of childhood and
youth,
the frustrations of adulthood, the miseries and imbecility of old
age.
Nisargadatta:
By all means live long. But you are not the master. Can you decide
the days of your birth and
death?
We are not speaking the same language. Yours is a make-believe talk,
all hangs on
suppositions
and assumptions. You speak with assurance about things you are not
sure of.
Questioner:
Therefore, I am here.
Nisargadatta:
You are not yet here. I am here. Come in! But you don't. You want me
to live your life, feel your
way,
use your language. I cannot, and it will not help you. You must come
to me. Words are of the
mind
and the mind obscures and distorts. Hence the absolute need to go
beyond words and move
over
to my side.
Questioner:
Take me over.
Nisargadatta:
I am doing it, but you resist. You give reality to concepts, while
concepts are distortions of
reality.
Abandon all conceptualisation and stay silent and attentive. Be
earnest about it and all will
be
well with you.