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Affirmations?


Thought you guys might appreciate these...


As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch
with my inner sociopath.

I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the
ones that are someone else's fault.

I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself.
Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.

In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

Having control over myself is nearly as good as having
control over others.

My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good
judgment.

I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would
have no personality at all.

I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those
censorious, self-righteous people around me.

I need not suffer in silence while I am still able to
moan, whimper, or bitch.

As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me,
they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a
lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.

The first step is to say nice things about myself. The
second to do nice things for myself. The third, to find
someone to buy me nice things.

As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to
carry mace.

All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly,
stupid, and disgusting bits.

Only lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing
myself with imaginary fears.

I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of
state and local laws.

Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for
there are no sweeter words than "I told you so".

A good scapegoat is nearly as good as a solution to a
problem.

Just for today, I will not sit in my den on the computer
all day. Instead I'll move it to my bedroom.

The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the
conspiracy is working.

I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective
as resistance.

Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the
next step - blaming my parents.

To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it
look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is
willing to learn from them.

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