From: Gloria Lee <gleelee@comcast.net>
Date: Fri, Mar 1, 2013 at 12:38 AM
Subject: [NDhighlights] #4856 - Thursday, February 28, 2013 - Editor: Gloria Lee
To: NDH <NDhighlights@yahoogroups.com>, NDS <NondualitySalon@yahoogroups.com>
#4856 - Thursday, February
28, 2013 - Editor: Gloria Lee
The Nonduality Highlights http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NDhighlights/
The peace that we are looking for is not
peace that crumbles as soon as there is
difficulty or chaos. Whether we’re seeking inner peace or global peace or a
combination of the two, the way to experience it is to build on the foundation of
unconditional openness to all that arises. Peace isn’t an experience free of
challenges, free of rough and smooth—it’s an experience that’s expansive enough
to include all that arises without feeling threatened.
difficulty or chaos. Whether we’re seeking inner peace or global peace or a
combination of the two, the way to experience it is to build on the foundation of
unconditional openness to all that arises. Peace isn’t an experience free of
challenges, free of rough and smooth—it’s an experience that’s expansive enough
to include all that arises without feeling threatened.
~ Pema Chodron
Alan Larus Photography
Joan Tollifson
I just
got word that someone I knew took his own life
recently, someone who had a very clear nondual
understanding. Many years ago, I remember hearing of a Zen teacher who committed suicide. His students
found him hanging. What a teaching! Many people imagine that “enlightenment” (whatever that might be) means
you wouldn’t do something like that – you wouldn’t kill yourself, you wouldn’t be depressed, you wouldn’t have
financial problems or health problems or personal problems or problems of any kind—you wouldn’t need
Zoloft—and if you were terminally ill, you wouldn’t want the morphine—you’d want to be clear and alert and
“fully present” at the moment of your death (presumably so that you could get a good start on a successful new
incarnation of your self – ho ho ho).
understanding. Many years ago, I remember hearing of a Zen teacher who committed suicide. His students
found him hanging. What a teaching! Many people imagine that “enlightenment” (whatever that might be) means
you wouldn’t do something like that – you wouldn’t kill yourself, you wouldn’t be depressed, you wouldn’t have
financial problems or health problems or personal problems or problems of any kind—you wouldn’t need
Zoloft—and if you were terminally ill, you wouldn’t want the morphine—you’d want to be clear and alert and
“fully present” at the moment of your death (presumably so that you could get a good start on a successful new
incarnation of your self – ho ho ho).
In the world of meditation or “the Power of
Now,” what people tend to mean when they talk about
clarity or
awakeness (or “enlightenment”) is being fully present here and now, awake to the nonconceptual, sensory
reality of this moment, not entranced in stories and ideologies.
awakeness (or “enlightenment”) is being fully present here and now, awake to the nonconceptual, sensory
reality of this moment, not entranced in stories and ideologies.
But in my experience, the most liberating
realization of all is the recognition that there is no
way NOT to be
here now—that EVERYTHING is included in What Is, even the EXPERIENCE of confusion, or depression, or
anxiety, or apparent encapsulation in a separate bodymind, or even the compulsion to take your own life or the
life of someone else.
here now—that EVERYTHING is included in What Is, even the EXPERIENCE of confusion, or depression, or
anxiety, or apparent encapsulation in a separate bodymind, or even the compulsion to take your own life or the
life of someone else.
Unlike some radical nondualists, I do still
talk at times about “being in the Now.” Maybe one day
I’ll stop
doing that entirely. I’ve mentioned in some of my writing that with my fingerbiting compulsion, whenever there
is complete attention to the bare actuality of fingerbiting (i.e., the bare sensations without the storyline or
the labels or the judgments), when there is total acceptance of it being just as it is, when there is no effort or
desire or intention to change it, when there is complete awareness and total presence with the bare happening
itself, the biting immediately stops. (It may start again a moment later, but in that moment of complete
attention and total acceptance, it stops.) This experience is completely nonverbal and nonconceptual. It is
concentrated but relaxed, alert but effortless, open and unbounded, free awareness. It is frequently called
“being in the Now” because there is no story happening of past or future, no ideas about “me” and “my life” –
just simple awake presence Here / Now. This kind of presence and attention to the present moment is what
many schools of meditation aim to cultivate.
doing that entirely. I’ve mentioned in some of my writing that with my fingerbiting compulsion, whenever there
is complete attention to the bare actuality of fingerbiting (i.e., the bare sensations without the storyline or
the labels or the judgments), when there is total acceptance of it being just as it is, when there is no effort or
desire or intention to change it, when there is complete awareness and total presence with the bare happening
itself, the biting immediately stops. (It may start again a moment later, but in that moment of complete
attention and total acceptance, it stops.) This experience is completely nonverbal and nonconceptual. It is
concentrated but relaxed, alert but effortless, open and unbounded, free awareness. It is frequently called
“being in the Now” because there is no story happening of past or future, no ideas about “me” and “my life” –
just simple awake presence Here / Now. This kind of presence and attention to the present moment is what
many schools of meditation aim to cultivate.
And this can indeed be helpful for dealing
with addiction, depression, anxiety, stress, physical
pain and other
forms of suffering. And as I have often said, sitting quietly, doing nothing, tuning into the nonconceptual
sensory reality that is so easily ignored in our busy world of information bombardment MAY help to directly
reveal impermanence, interdependence, the absence of any real separation between inside and outside, the
mirage-like nature of the self, and the ungraspable, inconceivable and unavoidable nature of reality. All of
this CAN be very liberating—it certainly seemed so for me—and for a very long time, I associated this
experience of presence with true awakening or real clarity, and I had the sense that enlightenment or final
liberation would be the state of abiding permanently in that kind of presence—being “in the Now” all the time.
forms of suffering. And as I have often said, sitting quietly, doing nothing, tuning into the nonconceptual
sensory reality that is so easily ignored in our busy world of information bombardment MAY help to directly
reveal impermanence, interdependence, the absence of any real separation between inside and outside, the
mirage-like nature of the self, and the ungraspable, inconceivable and unavoidable nature of reality. All of
this CAN be very liberating—it certainly seemed so for me—and for a very long time, I associated this
experience of presence with true awakening or real clarity, and I had the sense that enlightenment or final
liberation would be the state of abiding permanently in that kind of presence—being “in the Now” all the time.
But of course, that kind of experiential
"being in the Now" inevitably comes and goes. For some
people, it is
an easy state to access—for others, it is more elusive. Some bodyminds have more stormy weather than others.
Some people naturally have more equanimity, greater calm, and a better ability to concentrate and relax and
“be present” than other people. Some people are by nature more tightly wound, more hyperactive, buzzing
with thoughts and impulses flying off in different directions, more easily “distracted” from what they are
“supposed” to be concentrating on. Some people can happily sit quietly doing nothing for hours, while others
can’t sit still and “do nothing” for more than a few seconds. And while training and practice may be able to
alter our basic nature to some degree, it can never turn a turtle into a rabbit, a dandelion into a rose, or a
shrub into a giant redwood tree.
an easy state to access—for others, it is more elusive. Some bodyminds have more stormy weather than others.
Some people naturally have more equanimity, greater calm, and a better ability to concentrate and relax and
“be present” than other people. Some people are by nature more tightly wound, more hyperactive, buzzing
with thoughts and impulses flying off in different directions, more easily “distracted” from what they are
“supposed” to be concentrating on. Some people can happily sit quietly doing nothing for hours, while others
can’t sit still and “do nothing” for more than a few seconds. And while training and practice may be able to
alter our basic nature to some degree, it can never turn a turtle into a rabbit, a dandelion into a rose, or a
shrub into a giant redwood tree.
Some of us are given the abilities, the
aptitude, the inclinations, the interests, the drives,
the urges, the
concerns, and the circumstances that compel us to join or lead a movement for social justice or environmental
protection. Others of us are given the abilities, the aptitude, the inclinations, the interests, the drives, the
urges, the concerns, and the circumstances that compel us to take up a spiritual practice such as
meditation—and some of us have the interest and the ability to persevere at this practice, while others quickly
or eventually lose interest. Some of us are compelled toward radical nonduality, many of us are not. Each of us
is an expression of nature, just as each tree, each animal, each flower, each rock, each cloud and each
rainstorm is an expression of nature. Some trees are tall and straight, some are short and gnarled. Some buds
open and blossom, others die before that ever happens. ALL of these varied forms and happenings are an
expression of nature.
concerns, and the circumstances that compel us to join or lead a movement for social justice or environmental
protection. Others of us are given the abilities, the aptitude, the inclinations, the interests, the drives, the
urges, the concerns, and the circumstances that compel us to take up a spiritual practice such as
meditation—and some of us have the interest and the ability to persevere at this practice, while others quickly
or eventually lose interest. Some of us are compelled toward radical nonduality, many of us are not. Each of us
is an expression of nature, just as each tree, each animal, each flower, each rock, each cloud and each
rainstorm is an expression of nature. Some trees are tall and straight, some are short and gnarled. Some buds
open and blossom, others die before that ever happens. ALL of these varied forms and happenings are an
expression of nature.
Nothing holds still. Every form is
inseparable from everything around it, and each form
is nothing but
continuous change. Impermanence and flux are so thorough-going that no-thing actually forms as a solid,
persisting, independent entity—except conceptually, as a mental idea. No-thing is actually separate,
autonomous, or self-sufficient. Everything is one whole indivisible happening—seamless and
boundless—ever-present and ever-changing.
continuous change. Impermanence and flux are so thorough-going that no-thing actually forms as a solid,
persisting, independent entity—except conceptually, as a mental idea. No-thing is actually separate,
autonomous, or self-sufficient. Everything is one whole indivisible happening—seamless and
boundless—ever-present and ever-changing.
At some point in my journey from Here to
Here, it became clear that ALL states of consciousness
("being in
the Now" AND being entranced by thoughts and stories) are equally included in What Is, and that ALL of
them are passing experiences. All these different experiences are impersonal in the sense that they have no
owner, no author, no subject—they are simply expressions of nature like the ever-changing movements of the
outer weather. It was realized that biting my fingers is simply a compulsive happening of nature that is no
more wrong or unenlightened or personally caused than a thunderstorm or a cloudy day or a gnarled up tree or
any other expression of nature. It doesn’t MEAN anything “about me.”
the Now" AND being entranced by thoughts and stories) are equally included in What Is, and that ALL of
them are passing experiences. All these different experiences are impersonal in the sense that they have no
owner, no author, no subject—they are simply expressions of nature like the ever-changing movements of the
outer weather. It was realized that biting my fingers is simply a compulsive happening of nature that is no
more wrong or unenlightened or personally caused than a thunderstorm or a cloudy day or a gnarled up tree or
any other expression of nature. It doesn’t MEAN anything “about me.”
That discovery or realization was a big
relief. The NEED to get rid of this compulsion and all
the ideas about
what it meant about me fell away. The biting continues off and on when it does, but there is no judgment or
evaluation of it, none of the previous conflict with it that used to be present. The interest and the inclination
to pay total attention to it in any given moment (to “be in the Now” with it) may or may not arise, and it
doesn’t matter either way. There is no longer any idea that “being here now” is the superior spiritual state and
that “I” must make that happen.
what it meant about me fell away. The biting continues off and on when it does, but there is no judgment or
evaluation of it, none of the previous conflict with it that used to be present. The interest and the inclination
to pay total attention to it in any given moment (to “be in the Now” with it) may or may not arise, and it
doesn’t matter either way. There is no longer any idea that “being here now” is the superior spiritual state and
that “I” must make that happen.
It’s clear here that everything happens in
the only way possible. Some people are compelled to do
terrible
things like child molesting and serial murder in the same way that I am still compelled to bite my fingers. Only
by grace (aka luck) is my compulsion fingerbiting and not serial murder or molesting children. No one chooses
to be a serial killer or a child molester, and although most of us find such behavior repugnant and disturbing,
it is as much a part of nature as erupting volcanoes, earthquakes, tornados, plagues, and animals eating their
young. That doesn’t mean we have to like it, or that we won’t put serial killers in prisons and do our best to
keep child molesters away from children. But it does mean we may have compassion for these unfortunate
people who are driven to do things that they themselves may find abhorrent, acts that make them social
pariahs and outcasts. We don’t get to choose the part we play in the Cosmic Dance.
things like child molesting and serial murder in the same way that I am still compelled to bite my fingers. Only
by grace (aka luck) is my compulsion fingerbiting and not serial murder or molesting children. No one chooses
to be a serial killer or a child molester, and although most of us find such behavior repugnant and disturbing,
it is as much a part of nature as erupting volcanoes, earthquakes, tornados, plagues, and animals eating their
young. That doesn’t mean we have to like it, or that we won’t put serial killers in prisons and do our best to
keep child molesters away from children. But it does mean we may have compassion for these unfortunate
people who are driven to do things that they themselves may find abhorrent, acts that make them social
pariahs and outcasts. We don’t get to choose the part we play in the Cosmic Dance.
The most liberating realization is that ALL
of it is What Is – the parts we like and the parts we
don’t, the
“being here now” and the “being lost in thoughts and stories,” the calm experiences and the turbulent ones, the
moments of heaven and the moments of hell, the heroes and the villains and the ordinary folk in between.
“being here now” and the “being lost in thoughts and stories,” the calm experiences and the turbulent ones, the
moments of heaven and the moments of hell, the heroes and the villains and the ordinary folk in between.
And we really have no way of KNOWING what
THIS (this presently appearing happening) is. We can
only BE
it. We ARE it. It is ALL there is. Our attempts to understand this happening, whether through physics or
neuroscience or biology or philosophy or spirituality, are always limited. We can never stand outside this
happening. Subject and object are not two. The observer is inseparable from the observed; they are one
event. Any understanding we have is partial and always subject to doubt. But we cannot doubt BEING here.
We cannot doubt this present happening, this aware beingness. We can doubt any explanations of it (that it is
a dream, or a brain experience, or a bunch of atoms and molecules doing a subatomic dance), but we cannot
doubt the bare ACTUALITY of the happening itself, the beingness of Here / Now – THIS, just as it is.
it. We ARE it. It is ALL there is. Our attempts to understand this happening, whether through physics or
neuroscience or biology or philosophy or spirituality, are always limited. We can never stand outside this
happening. Subject and object are not two. The observer is inseparable from the observed; they are one
event. Any understanding we have is partial and always subject to doubt. But we cannot doubt BEING here.
We cannot doubt this present happening, this aware beingness. We can doubt any explanations of it (that it is
a dream, or a brain experience, or a bunch of atoms and molecules doing a subatomic dance), but we cannot
doubt the bare ACTUALITY of the happening itself, the beingness of Here / Now – THIS, just as it is.
And we can notice that it is no way in
particular, for it is ever-changing. Anything we try
to grasp will vanish
and disappear. Anything we THINK is permanent (including any IDEA or any EXPERIENCE or any subtle
IMAGE of the One Self or Consciousness or Primordial Awareness or Emptiness) will vanish and slip through
our fingers like water, air or smoke. And yet….
and disappear. Anything we THINK is permanent (including any IDEA or any EXPERIENCE or any subtle
IMAGE of the One Self or Consciousness or Primordial Awareness or Emptiness) will vanish and slip through
our fingers like water, air or smoke. And yet….
THIS is undeniable. You cannot NOT be as you
are – this ever-unfolding, ever-present event that is
always
Here / Now. This event may show up as the mirage-like thought-sense of bring a separate-self encapsulated in
a bodymind looking out at the world. It may show up as an experience of undivided wholeness. It may show up
as the experience of “being here now,” or it may show up as molesting children, committing serial murders,
planning a genocide, drinking yourself to death, committing suicide or biting your fingers. It may show up as a
giant meteor hitting the earth and wiping out an entire continent, or it may show up as a gentle spring day.
However it shows up, it is all one undivided happening without beginning or end.
Here / Now. This event may show up as the mirage-like thought-sense of bring a separate-self encapsulated in
a bodymind looking out at the world. It may show up as an experience of undivided wholeness. It may show up
as the experience of “being here now,” or it may show up as molesting children, committing serial murders,
planning a genocide, drinking yourself to death, committing suicide or biting your fingers. It may show up as a
giant meteor hitting the earth and wiping out an entire continent, or it may show up as a gentle spring day.
However it shows up, it is all one undivided happening without beginning or end.
Of course, this begs the question, what do we
mean by realization or enlightenment? We thought at
first that
realization meant “being in the Now” and that enlightenment meant “being in the Now” all the time. From that
perspective, it seemed like we were going back and forth between “getting it” and “losing it.” It seemed that
“realization” meant something experiential, something “deeper” than merely understanding all of this
conceptually or believing it as a philosophy. But then we realized there was no way NOT to be here now, and
no one apart from Here / Now to be in or out of it. There is no separate “somebody” to be lost or found,
realized or not realized, enlightened or unenlightened.
realization meant “being in the Now” and that enlightenment meant “being in the Now” all the time. From that
perspective, it seemed like we were going back and forth between “getting it” and “losing it.” It seemed that
“realization” meant something experiential, something “deeper” than merely understanding all of this
conceptually or believing it as a philosophy. But then we realized there was no way NOT to be here now, and
no one apart from Here / Now to be in or out of it. There is no separate “somebody” to be lost or found,
realized or not realized, enlightened or unenlightened.
The whole spiritual adventure melted away. We
were left with life, just as it is.
That doesn’t mean being left in a state of
perpetual bliss or having a continuous EXPERIENCE of
“being in the
Now” (except in the sense that EVERY experience is one of being in the Now). It doesn’t mean we are always
calm, decisive, spontaneous, relaxed, fearless, happy and filled with love. Some people by nature have more or
less stormy weather than others, just as some places are by nature sunnier and others more overcast and
cloudy. Realization simply means it is ALL recognized as What Is, even the absence of that recognition. It’s
not a perpetual EXPERIENCE – but rather, the understanding that EVERY experience is one whole happening
without an experiencer, even the experience of apparently being a separate experiencer. Nothing is left out.
Nothing is not it. And there is no “it” to be found!
Now” (except in the sense that EVERY experience is one of being in the Now). It doesn’t mean we are always
calm, decisive, spontaneous, relaxed, fearless, happy and filled with love. Some people by nature have more or
less stormy weather than others, just as some places are by nature sunnier and others more overcast and
cloudy. Realization simply means it is ALL recognized as What Is, even the absence of that recognition. It’s
not a perpetual EXPERIENCE – but rather, the understanding that EVERY experience is one whole happening
without an experiencer, even the experience of apparently being a separate experiencer. Nothing is left out.
Nothing is not it. And there is no “it” to be found!
Like the edge of the earth that our ancestors
feared they might fall off, the problem we’ve been
trying to
solve is imaginary. We are no longer seeking heaven without hell, or up without down. We don’t mind being the
short tree instead of the tall tree because we know it’s all a play, and we’re the Whole Show. And this isn’t an
EXPERIENCE or a special STATE of consciousness. It is JUST THIS, Here / Now, EXACTLY as it is!
solve is imaginary. We are no longer seeking heaven without hell, or up without down. We don’t mind being the
short tree instead of the tall tree because we know it’s all a play, and we’re the Whole Show. And this isn’t an
EXPERIENCE or a special STATE of consciousness. It is JUST THIS, Here / Now, EXACTLY as it is!
How is
it? It just moved! And yet, Here it is!