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Friday October 13, 2000




Matthew:
: EVERYTHING is a trap! Every situation you find yourself in, is a
trap whether you recognize it as such or not. There's only one way
out of your present trap and thats right into a different trap. Most
of us just find ourselves trapped while a few sly devils choose the
trap most suited to their liking. Either way it makes no difference
because a trap is a trap. By the way, if your trap is intolerable,
choose a different trap. Be careful though because ALL situations are
intolerable, relatively speaking.
~~~~~~

You seem enamored of traps. When Ya gonna see that everything is also
freedom? (If you wanna be in traps forever, enjoy, but eventually you
get tired of them, don't you?) Trip the trap and tap the tip (of your
shoe). You're on stage!

Love, Mark
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This trap's empty.

love,
andrew
______________________________
< ______________________________________

MARCIA & NOBODY EAST

nobody east wrote:

> thank you for your explanation. I relax
> with your capacity to choose your state.
> Things would be worse, when you could
> not stop paranoia anymore.

Marcia:
I am not saying I can choose my state. But I don'tbelieve that my state
is who I Am. Even at the worst
of times, I know that 'this too will pass.' In the presence
of a kind heart, I can be 'talked down' cause there is
something in me which has tasted the real. There is
something inside which knows that the 'unreal has no
being and the real never ceases to be.'

It is all grist for the mill, sand in my saddle. :-)

Even in the worst of times, there is faith in that which
is unseen. 51% knows so even if the 49% is screaming,
yelling, crying out in agony me, me, me...why has thou
forsaken me....well you get the picture right? For this
I am eternally grateful.

<snip>

> In e-mail-letters sharing experiences
> how can you observe these sensations?
> I believe, you can, but what scares?

We each have our own prisons of our own making. What I notice is a
feeling that I am not
liked, that people think I am weird, slightly
pushed I run scared, I hide...even in the
picture I chose to send I am hiding behind
my daughters. In my life when my back has
been against the wall, I come out of hiding and
I am strong. So this 'image' of helpless little
me, don't hurt me, I am a scaredity cat
is a cover. At least 49% of the time, I believe
in the cover. And then there is the other half
which is looking out and criticizing those who
believe this cover of 'mine.' Don't they know
who I am? Can't they see how great I am?
It goes on and on and on and on........It is
all really very boring.

> Shocking experiences are a good reminder
> to wake up individuals and collectives as well.
> It could not even shock my belief-system
> when Jerry forbids to write my letters here.
> Yes I get angry, when he closes the list
> of member-ship, but fear? No, Marcia: Laughter!

There is that moment of pure joy when I 'see'myself. It is really funny.
In that moment I let go
of the identification.

> The way to work with myself is mostly
> to let existence work with me -through me.
> Example: Feelings of joy, bliss, fun move upwards,
> feelings of fear, anguish, jealousy downwards.

This is correct. I don't think it is possible to change anything. I feel
helpless after 51 years to change anything.
And for the first time I am beginning to feel like I see how
it works. And in the seeing, change is happening.

> Yes, and in a trustworthy atmosphere
> I believe, what body/mind registers.
>
> For example my dentist repaired my teeth
> this year and this dragging metal on tooth
> made my body/mind believe in pain.
>
> The dentist started while working
> with her soft voice a hypnotic session
> telling about my favorite place.
>
> My favorite place is the lake nearby
> where I swim in the summer in my lunch-break.

My favorite place these days is the gym. I am working out like I have
never worked out before. Sweat pours
down my body. I am soaked by the time I finish. My
girls say it is gross. Then I hit the steam bath.

<snip>

Marcia
________________________________________

TIM JANE "A God That Can Dance"

From Tim J.
I read a mail on the N.D.S. about a Zen Master holding a student under
water. It triggered a whole load of thought proceses in me, one of which
was, that it seems, what one wants, one always gets, and thats particularly
true for the present moment.
I for one spent a lot of time wondering why the present moment is the way it
is, and why it is not different- maybe better or something.
Then i pictured this euphoric, crystal, sparkling, orgasmic, blissful,
heavenly realm that only i could give credit to from imagination, and i
looked at my situation again, and it seemed to me, if one was in the perfect
place or perfect state, then looking from this plateau, where one is right
now seems a little more perfect.
I want exactly this, because i am untarnished, i am whole, i am orgasmicaly,
joyously without fault or need.

My thoughts travelled from here and contemplated death, and its fascinating
how many ideas and attitudes about death there are for me.
I got a picture of a king or a queen with a son or daughter, and the
daughter is of playing with some gypsy girl, some poor unkempt person and
really having fun ( life, identity ) and then the king or queen calls the
child back home and the child doesn't want to go, but wants to keep playing.
Its not time for bed yet, i dont want to rest, i want to identify, i want to
be me, nothing more, nothing less, i want this experience.

My thoughts wandered from here to dangerous sports, when i have personally
been near danger ( cliff jumping, rock climbing ) i have really valued life,
its as if death isn,t going to be the enemy, just the spoiler of fun.
Oh, death, i know i have to go back to my palace, perfect bliss, but i
havn't finished arguing with this guy yet, its so juicy, i really hate this
guy, im losing my temper, or i could be tired from a hard days work , just
walking home , empty flask of coffee in hand, looking over, catching the
sunset, whistling, no purpose, knowing that family will be home, kids to greet
me, nice warm fire, passing someone on the road and feeling the immediate
identity relationship i have with the person, my like, my dislike, .
My life, i want, i get, ive gotten, im having, this is it, bliss in form,
this is it, this IS my desire, my longing is in fulfilment.
Only a God can dance it seems to me.
Tim Jane.

__________________________________________________________

Check this out.

http://www.shankar-gallery.com/index.html

andrew

____________________________________________________________

Matthew sends:

The setting sun world is afraid of space, afraid of the truth of non-
reference point. In that world people are afraid to be
vulnerable..... They are afraid to transcend the conditions or
reference points they have set up for themselves.
------CHOGYAM TRUNGPA


The setting-sun world teaches that you should guard your flesh and
blood, that you should wear a suit of armor to protect yourself. But
what are you really protecting yourself from? Space.
----------CHOGYAM TRUNGPA

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