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Hi Greg,

My heart is with you in the death of your father. How odd
and apt to know that it was about the time of the salsa
dancing. I still remember the rapt, concentrated, but free
look on your face as you drummed to the music. There was
something wild and free in the air that night, what with
the rain and the bullfrogs and all. My father died in 1994
also after a long illness. I have felt very close to him
since then, closer than when he was alive. He has appeared
in several highly-real dreams in which there was a great
deal of love expressed.

Since his death my mother has flowered. Six months after he
died she got herself a Mac and taught herself how to do
email. She also started writing poetry. So you never know.

Love,

David

*****


David,

Thanks for your kind words. The salsa evening was magic -
remember earlier how it started to rain when Indra started
whirling? (I'm trying to push this name for oh).

With my father, we actually had a kind and loving moment
when I last saw him. And no emotional submerged stuff or
baggage on either side. Actually, he was not totally lucid
-- he was mumbling a few words about a cute nurse he'd seen
earlier that day....

Nice to hear of your mom's flowering. My grandmother had
the same experience after my grandfather died. She went on
a world tour with her daughter/my aunt. That's right, you
never know!

Love,

--Greg
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INDRA/AMRITA/OH

Hello all dears:

old bones' impression of gathering:

oh....ohhhh....OHHHHHHHH!!

and i ain't fakin' it! - that's for sure.
,^))

------------------------

i am still speechless.....

every dern word wiped right out....

what a wonder!!

still at Glo's...heading to PA tomorrow...tank and pockets
and heart
full....gracias precious ones...

as i read each post now, the face arises and the words are
fuller,
sweeter...richer...i bet you know what i mean.

love to all,
gratitude burstin'
oh
Indra? couldn't think of more beautiful jewels to reflect!
Thanks,
Greg very dear...and there would start the litany...
Gratiture' Adore' allofe' youe'


"our song" words someone asked for:

Like the morning sun,
that has risen over the horizon,
the Dawn of Divine Awareness
has risen in my heart.


And it will never set.

_______________________________________________________________________________

PAYING FOR MY ARISING: MELODY ANDERSON, MARCIA PAUL, MICHAEL
READ

These last days I've been immersed in witnessing and
experiencing the struggles and challenges of facing the
human condition.

I watched my sister in law's heart crack open as she began
to share for the first time ever from an 'open space', and
was rather shocked to see how many ways the 'world' began
to rush in and tell her NO......tell her she was wrong
someway to feel what she felt and to say what was on her
mind. I watched the world bombard her from every
angle....demanding she put her mask back on....and go on as
if she hadn't a care or a need in the world.

I listened to her share about her feelings of guilt and
fear ....about stepping away from her Catholic Church

and I shared her tears of joy when she sat quietly for the
first time ever to commune with God...without an
intermediary.

During this time I was also reading Osho's book, "Glimpses
of a Golden Childhood'.....reading how Osho was never ever
said 'No' to as a child, never once forced to wear a mask
....never once restricted in his thoughts, feelings and
actions.

Two lives could not be more different.....two vastly
different childhoods.

My sister in law cried at one point, "I haven't a clue who
I am beyond what what is expected of me", and I know that
hers is a crisis of the soul shared by many. I remember
saying those very words myself in my therapist's office.
And what a shock it is to hear yourself say so. It's as if
my life began anew the day I first uttered those
words.....as I suspect it has for her as well.

Despite society's attempts, despite the demands of the
family, one can't ever put the Genie back into the
bottle....not completely.

A seed has taken root.....a ray of light has entered the
darkness.

I'm back home now again....a much quieter and emptier home
than the one I left. How easy it would be to instantly fill
this quiet space....to make it busy and noisy and demanding
again.

May the surface heart remain empty so the deeper heart can
be heard.

*****

I'm not sure why people dread and fear and avoid sorrow.
Those moments are some of the most truly ALIVE moments I
have known....moments that exhaust the self so completely
that Love is easily and naturally touched afterwards.

It 's very much like doing one of Osho's active
meditations. It's cleansing, and readies one for those
moments of silence and stillness which always follow.

*****

I wonder what exactly G meant when he said 'paying for ones
arising'?

Is payment ever enough? Seems likely that when one starts
this 'payment plan' the interest compounds so quickly, one
never ever can get 'paid in full'. When our parents die,
for example, the 'paper' probably just gets assigned to
someone else? (I don't know, Marcia. I'm just guessing
here?)

It seems to me another way is to simply give everything
away.... declare a kind of personal bankruptcy....and then
start again with a 'clean slate'.

But that's so immoral, isn't it? Such a 'stigma' attached
to those who fail to execute their responsibilities.

Osho had a vision of a new Man.....a vision of child
rearing that would be similar to his own experience.....one
in which children 'owed' their parents and society nothing
[my characterization, not his]. In Osho's vision, there
would be no 'paying for one's arising'. Sounds a bit like
Eden, doesn't it?

Could you imagine never telling your children 'No'....never
saying 'You can't do this', 'That's too dangerous', 'it's
not good for you', 'Don't say that!', or 'what would the
neighbors say?'

Could you imagine allowing children to say whatever was on
their mind to a visiting priest.....calling a spade a spade

.....allowing a child to take any kind of physical risks
(with only a 'body guard' to be there to 'save his butt'
after making that choice)?

It reminds me of what Malidoma Patrice Some describes of
life in an African Dagaro village. Initiation into manhood
was a life threatening risk. Some boys never survived the
initiation. Some died or went crazy.

Can you imagine our society ALLOWING children to take such
risks? And yet the aboriginal communities, including our
native American ones, insist that the lack of such
initiations in the 'modern' world is what makes us a
culture of 'adult children'.

We initiate our youth thru trauma, yes.....but it's not the
same as being initiated, in consciousness, by one who has
been Initiated him/herself. Instead, 'children' initiate
children into gangs, sororities, even country clubs and
churches- all only imitating or substituting for Initiated
life.

*****

MARCIA PAUL

In a way this kind of opens up a new/old subject and that
is; rites of initiation. And where are the teachers? There
is much debate about the value of teachers but I wonder if
there are any left. The public schools seem to me to be
really bad. I remember reading Summerfield and thinking
that was what a real education would be like. My kids do
well in school but there is so much emphasis on the grade
and performance. They and the schools seem to have lost
sight of what a real education would be. And I am only
asking questions. I don't have the answers.

It seems to me that as far as paying for one's arising,
Gurdjieff talked about caring for one's parents. He would
admonish people to take their parents into their homes and
care for them until their death. It would seem to me that
affording one's parents the most comfortable death and not
to be alone at that time and to die with respect would
adequately pay the debt for one's birth.

*****

MICHAEL READ

Philosophy, mythology, cosmology - not much difference,
really. The Christ story has a certain and great beauty. (
insert joke here) But god doesn't have a penis - or a
vagina. ;-)

Your very conciousness is same conciousness that was in
Jesus and Buddha and Mohammed - and everybody else past,
present and future and on this planet and on every other
planet and in this dimension and every other dimension.

Yahoo!

So, enjoy 'your' story, but dwell in the truth of the Self.

HAHAHAH and HOHOHO!

Peace - Everlasting Joy - Michael

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