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#4127 -
Friday, January 7, 2011 - Editor: Jerry Katz
The Nonduality Highlights - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NDhighlights
The Allure of
Narcissistic Spirituality
by Rabbi Alan Lurie
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rabbi-alan-lurie/the-allure-of-spiritual-n_b_803415.html
Excerpts:
Several months ago, my wife and I attended a prayer service at a
synagogue that is well known for its spiritual, and spirited,
approach. As we entered, the rabbi was leading a meditation.
"Close your eyes and breathe in the peace of Shabbat [the
Sabbath]." she said. "And on the out-breathe imagine
that you are sending healing love to all beings." We passed
a man who appeared to be deep in meditation. His eyes were
closed, and through a slightly opened smile he slowly breathed in
and out. As we moved to our seats, I accidentally stepped on his
toe. He quickly turned toward me; his smile vanished and he
angrily hissed, "Hey, watch it, buddy!"
In the irony of a person being angry at a stranger for
accidentally interrupting his meditation about universal,
unconditional love, this man demonstrated the disturbing,
alluring and all-too common phenomenon of "spiritual
narcissism."
...
Spiritual narcissism creates the pretense of holiness as an ego
strategy to mask insecurity, receive approval, or avoid struggle
and growth.
...
At a seven-day spiritual silent meditation retreat that I
recently attended, devoted to nourishing equanimity, attendees
routinely wrote messages to the retreat leaders with complaints
about others: one attendee complained that two days of progress
was "ruined" by another attendee, who sent a note with
the words "I love you," and another complained about
someone who was walking too loudly on the leaves outdoors.
...
The desire to control others in order to create a
"perfect" environment that nurtures our sensitivities
is a calling card of spiritual narcissism. It is not a spiritual
feat to feel equanimity only when everything is going exactly as
one would like. True spirituality takes place in the holy
messiness of the world, in open-hearted relationship with others,
and in a kind smile to one who accidentally stepped on your foot.
In that moment of connection, one can clearly see that the
annoyances and upsets are actually wake up calls pulling us out
of our self-involvement and in to relationship.
The holiest prayer in the Jewish prayer book is the Amidah -- the
"standing" prayer -- in which we are in soul connection
to God, so that we can praise our Creator for the beauty and
bounty of the world, ask for peace, health and understanding and
express gratitude for our lives. What is surprising to many is
that most of these prayers are in the plural form; we do not pray
alone and for ourselves, but for everyone. In this prayer are
words that are, for me, the summation of an antidote to the lure
of narcissism: "Purify our hearts to be of service in
truth." With this one powerful sentence we yearn to move
beyond our ego-selves, and to know our true-Selves so that we can
be a blessing to others. This is why Judaism teaches us to focus
on acts of kindness: inviting someone to your house for lunch,
treating a stranger with kindness and giving money to charity are
the highest levels of spirituality.
Spiritual narcissism can be very appealing. I know because I also
feel the tug, and too often succumb. But once we see how we are
tempted to use the guise of spirituality to shield us from
criticism, impress others and make us feel wise, its appeal
begins to loosen, and we even find the humor in this upside-down
dynamic. Then, we slowly see this as an all-too-human
inclination, and as we forgive it in ourselves we can forgive it
in others, knowing that we are fellow suffering, struggling, holy
beings. As Martin Buber, author of I and Thou wrote, "When
two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is
the electricity that surges between them."
~ ~ ~
The above consists of excerpts. Read the entire article here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rabbi-alan-lurie/the-allure-of-spiritual-n_b_803415.html