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#3706 -
Friday, November 6, 2009 - Editor: Jerry Katz
The Nonduality Highlights - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NDhighlights
"What is enlightenment, no, I mean really, like what
is it?"
by Steven Norquist
Many friends and family have been after me for some time to write
about my experience and understanding of this topic. I have
hesitated to write about it not because enlightenment itself is
so hard to describe, but because enlightenment tends to make one
quite lazy. Before my change I was a busy beaver, reading and
writing and playing music and sports and really actively getting
out there. But after “"the change”" as I call
it, there was a clear vision of how silly all this activity was
and how much incredible effort is required to perform it.
But before I get ahead of myself let me lay out one basic fact, I
am awake. I woke up about a year ago. I know what I am, what I
have always been and what it is impossible to stop being. Some
call this enlightenment or ultimate truth, unity consciousness,
infinite mind and so on. But all those names don’t tell the
non-awake what it is. Even I calling it "the change” is
not really accurate because nothing really changed, yet
paradoxically, huge change took place. In simple terms I was once
Steve living his life but now I am the experience of Steve living
his life. It is a shift in perspective. Before this perspective
shift occurred I had practiced about three years of medium
intensity meditation consisting of some breath watching, a little
mantra repetition and some light self inquiry Ramana Maharshi
style. These techniques were coupled with an intense desire to
find and know the truth. I read everything on enlightenment I
could get my hands on.
After about three years of this I had my first experience of
“nonduality” as it is called. I had just read a passage
in Ken Wilber’s “The Spectrum of Consciousness”
where he points out that ordinary awareness is ultimate
awareness. This struck a chord in me, I set the book down and
stared at a paper that was sitting on the table in front of me,
after about a minute or two an exciting and frightening thing
happened, I disappeared! By that I mean the middle fell right out
of the equation. Normally there would be Steve over here looking
at the paper on the desk over there, now there was only the
experience, "paper" but no Steve over here seeing it.
It was clear that the middle that normally separated the paper
from Steve did not really exist, there was only the experience,
"paper."
Now let me try to make this more clear by giving an illustration.
Imagine as clearly as you can that you enter a large house that
you have never been in before. You feel strange and kind of
scared, there is furniture and drapes but no people. You wander
around feeling the creepiness of being alone in this big house.
You go from room to room not knowing what you will find. You
start to get nervous and a little fearful being alone in this big
house. You wonder how long it has been empty like this. In time
the sense of the bigness and emptiness of the house starts to
weigh heavily on your nerves. Finally, when you can not stand it
any longer a shocking realization occurs to you, your not there
either! Only the experience, "house" exists.
This is how nonduality feels and is the real truth of existence.
Remember the question, "What is the sound of one hand
clapping?" Now you know the answer.
You see, with enlightenment comes the knowledge that even though
there is much activity in the world, there are no doers. The
universe is in a sense, lifeless. There is no one, only
happenings and the experience of happenings. Enlightenment
reveals that the universe emerges spontaneously. It’s
emergence and pattern are perfect in mathematics and symmetry and
involve no chance. Nothing is random, everything emerges exactly
as it has to. There is no random chance, or evolution based on
chance. The universe is perfect, nothing is wrong or could be.
There seems to be chance or unpredictability from a human
perspective but that is only because our time frame reference can
not see the universe emerge through its whole life span in a
matter of minutes. If we could see that, then we would clearly
see how every event was not only perfect and necessary but even
predictable.
Now lets summarize so far, the universe is perfect, no one
exists, yet the experience "universe" persists. How can
this be? Consciousness. Consciousness is aware. If it were not,
then there would be no universe. The very nature of existence
implies consciousness. One can not exist without the other.
There can never be a universe that does not involve
consciousness. There are no universes or dimensions where there
is no consciousness. Matter and form would never arise without
consciousness. Universe/Consciousness, Mind/Matter,
Wave/Particle, call it what you will, the reality is that the
manifestation, the very appearance we call the universe, is
consciousness.
Now don't mistake me here, there is no observer. There are no
persons in existence experiencing the universe, but more than
that there is no Ultimate Person, God, Mind, or anything else
observing the universe. There is only the experience of the
universe being there with no experiencer.
This seems like a paradox but who cares, this is the way it is.
Experience "is," that is all, that is the way the
universe is, an experience by no one. The universe spontaneously
arises out of consciousness yet at the same time is itself
consciousness. We must lose the idea of matter being observed by
something we call consciousness, that is not true. Some teachers
talk of the Witness, the ultimate passive mind that observes all
things moment to moment. This implies some level of separation, a
witness over here watching the universe over there. It's not like
this, there is only the experience, universe. There is no
observer. Even if there were no manifestation the feeling would
be the same. Once again let me make this clear: consciousness is
not aware "of" the universe, consciousness is aware
"as" the universe.
Now don't mistake that last sentence. Don't think, "Oh yeah
Steve, I get it now, consciousness is not aware of the universe
from a vantage point separate from it, like a disembodied soul,
consciousness is instead aware of the universe as one of the
billions of beings in it, like man, or dog, or fish." No!
Such thoughts are false. When I say consciousness is aware
"as" the universe I mean the very act of existence is
consciousness. A carrot is itself consciousness, is itself
awareness. There is not carrot aware of itself as carrot nor
disembodied invisible consciousness aware of carrot as carrot,
there is only the experience "carrot" and that is
consciousness and that is enlightenment. There is no observer.
Let's talk now about how this fits in with human life. All people
who do not know what's going on believe that they are the people
that they are, an individual with thoughts and desires and hopes
and dreams, a body and a house, a wife and a child. The list goes
on but you get it.
Now the truth. Even though the above is happening, it is an
automatic machine like emergence out of Universe/Consciousness
and is following a strict nonchance pattern. More importantly, no
one is performing any of the above and Universe/Consciousness is
what is going on.
To make it more clear, stuff is happening but no one is doing it.
Emergence proceeds and consciousness is aware. The unawake
person, the person that doesn’t know what's going on
believes that they are acting, that the human them exists. The
reality is, the body exists, the thoughts exist, the memories
exist and that is consciousness and that is all.
Someone might say consciousness has temporarily mistaken
it’s experience of the body and the body’s memories as
a person. But even though that answer may seem to explain the
why, really there is no mistake at all. Universe/Consciousness
has never been confused. The person can fall away at any moment
restoring the original state of matter and consciousness which
has never actually been obscured. This happened to me, but in
that happening nothing was lost because there never was a me to
lose, only a confusion to correct that never existed.
Knowing this, I mean really knowing this, not intellectually, but
as a direct experience of everyday life is enlightenment. Now
once this is known it is impossible to go back. Once you have
drawn the curtain and seen who Oz really is you can’t cover
him back up and pretend not to know the truth.
So how do we proceed once we know? We let experience manifest
unmolested. As has been said, “The universe is perfect,
intervene at your peril.” The enlightened person never acts.
This is the riddle of karma solved, there is no karma, never was,
never could be. There is no reincarnation, how could there be?
Who is there to reincarnate? There are no persons, there is no
birth or death, there is ultimately nothing except
Manifestation/Awareness.
99.999% of the spiritual books and teachers out there are
completely wrong. They are wrong for one simple reason, they are
not enlightened, they don’t know what's going on. So in
order to keep the illusion of personality, of the idea that there
is something or someone, they invent stories, or theories, or
ideas, wear special clothes, perform certain rituals and so on.
They teach this stuff. But the truth is so simple, it is
laughable.
Now let me make a clear distinction on one point, mystical
experience is not enlightenment. You may have mystical
experience, see God, get abducted by aliens, receive messages
from an angel, contact your spirit guides, the list could go on.
But always and forever, no matter what is going on the truth is,
every experience, mystical or ordinary is a happening of
Universe/Consciousness.
If I could teach the world a lesson it would be, no matter what
you experience always remind yourself, “There is no
experiencer, there is no observer.” If you do this long
enough and often enough you will one day know what's going on.
When that day comes you will realize nothing has changed, yet
everything has changed. It is a feeling and a knowing. An
inescapable falling away of untruth. If you think you know it
then you don’t. When you know it, you do. And when you do
know it, no one can take it away from you.
Some points to clear up. When I said the enlightened person never
acts I did not mean such people sit in a cave and die of
starvation and exposure. I mean the body can be quite active and
manifest all manner of good and bad behavior, the mind can be
racing with thoughts and feelings, but consciousness, now
enlightened, knows no one is acting. It is only the universe
blossoming forth spontaneously and perfectly.
As consciousness you are more aware of the feelings of the body,
physically and emotionally. You don’t feel these things but
you are aware of them because there is no division between them
and consciousness. The Universe and Consciousness are equivalent,
remember the formula, U=C. Also the thing we call personality or
ego does not totally vanish. It can remain intact along with the
body. It behaves and interacts and changes over time like any
person would but the enlightened one knows they are not that ego.
Some schools emphasize the destruction of the ego as the only
means of liberation. All that is really required is the
realization that you are not that ego. That the ego really
doesn’t exist, is an illusion of sorts that can be left to
it’s own designs. It’s not really there, but it appears
to be there and that is just fine, don’t worry. If the ego
begins to fade that's ok. Remember, there is no experiencer.
Let me talk briefly about practice. Meditation and book study are
useful and can ripen an individual towards awakening, but the
most important thing is to change your perspective. You must
learn to see what is really going on. Understand, in reality
everyone is enlightened, but not everyone knows how to perceive
this. The reason is, enlightenment is so natural, so obvious,
that from birth we have become accustomed to ignoring it in
preference to anything else that manifests. Meditation can train
you to still the mind and gain concentration but it will not give
you enlightenment. A radical shift in perspective must occur, the
habitual focus of your awareness and your way of perceiving must
be changed.
Study of books will not get you there, you need a shock. The
easiest way I know is for an enlightened person to talk you into
this perspective shift. The best books I have read were the ones
that talked you into enlightenment. Feeling experiments such as
the house scenario above are good to help evoke the feeling of
enlightenment. Feel what it is like to not be there. The real
breakthrough will come when you “feel” the truth.
It’s creepy, not blissful or ecstatic. It should scare you,
the body should react defensively, or there could be uncontrolled
laughter at how stupid you have been for so long. It’s like
one of those 3D dot pictures, you stare and stare at those dots
until bingo the picture emerges! After that, you can always see
it, you can’t unlearn it. The same with enlightenment.
Basically any practice that can shock you into seeing what is
really going on is acceptable. But understand, you want to know
what's really going on, to feel it, to contact reality. It
shouldn’t take long, a few years at most, less for some. If
a practice or a teacher tells you it will take 10 or 20 years,
find a new practice or teacher. Remember you are your own
salvation, ultimately it is you who will wake you up. Any method
that can shock you into seeing what is really going on is
acceptable but the perspective shift must occur.
Let me try to bring some clarity to the subject of enlightenment
and morality. It has been said that enlightenment produces
compassion and love and that many enlightened ones forgo release
into Nirvana and reincarnate again and again until all souls have
obtained enlightenment, the Bodhisattva vow and such. None of
this is enlightenment. Enlightenment is not about morality or
vows, it is simply existence in the truth, that is all.
Enlightenment carries no requirements and expects nothing, the
universe manifests and just that is enlightenment. We don't seek
enlightenment to be happy or to give our lives meaning or to feel
bliss or ecstasy. Loyalty to a flag is not enlightenment, love is
not enlightenment, hate is not enlightenment. If you see these as
the fruit of enlightenment then you are wrong. Instead each of
these are enlightenment themselves. Each of these are spontaneous
emergences out of and as consciousness. Action, feeling,
creation, performance, love, hate, murder, salvation, compassion,
each is enlightenment itself. There is no doer, no experiencer,
only manifestation. This is the truth, this is enlightenment.
I want you to understand that while nothing ultimately changes,
in human terms much change takes place. This happens because once
you recognize what's going on the main motivations of life begin
to drop away. The level of dropping away is no doubt unique to
the individual but is directly proportional to how much you
desire to resolve into reality. What I mean is that it is
possible to be enlightened and still try to retain a level of
unconsciousness in order to interact in human affairs. As time
passes this state will be harder to maintain.
It is similar to suspending your belief when watching a movie.
You pretend to believe the reality of what is going on. You cry
with the characters, you laugh with them, you hope with them etc.
You do this for the entertainment, to get your moneys worth. This
is the way real life is with enlightenment. You know there really
is no one. You know that it is just a display, a machine like
emergence out of and as consciousness. Yet you must believe it at
some level or you will simply lose the ability to interact in the
world.
I can see why some enlightened ones have isolated themselves or
become hermits. For the last year this has been an issue I
personally have struggled with. How to know the truth and
continue to interact with the world as if you believe it? You
basically have to employ a little Orwellian 1984 doublethink. You
have to pretend to believe while always knowing the truth. Some
things are unavoidable of course, I was an avid reader but now
can barely open up a book. I loved and played the guitar for
years but now have zero interest in picking one up. Even writing
these few words is a colossal effort. The reason is that
deliberate effort is an affront to reality where nothing is
deliberate, everything is spontaneous, and nothing at all is
going on.
Don't mistake me here, I have not invented a rule of behavior
where I have decided I must act less because to do otherwise
would be an affront to reality, rather the natural outcome of
enlightenment is less and less action, less and less thought.
This is a natural development within the enlightened person.
Eventually all action will be spontaneous and the person will not
be acting.
Of course to say this is not ultimately true, because in reality
no one ever acts. But from the human vantage point this is how it
plays out. Memory is also a tricky thing, the memories of your
life are still there and can be jogged into awareness but as time
progresses and enlightenment begins to dissolve you, your access
to them becomes more difficult. Your awareness becomes centered
in the events of the present as they manifest, this is natural
since these are the only events that actually exist. The person
and the ego are simply dissolving. They don't really exist but
the illusion that they do becomes less a part of awareness. You
don't remember and you don't care.
Let me make a point about Zen breath watching. Most people just
don't get it and most Zen schools don't make it any easier for
students to get it. There are all kinds of books on Zen
meditation, catalogs where you can buy all the cool silk clothes,
cushions, gongs, incense and a host of other aids to Zen breath
watching. But once you have all that stuff and finally sit your
butt down, close your eyes and start watching your breath what
exactly are you doing? Why are you doing that? I ask people this
all the time and really piss them off, "Why do you meditate?
What are you trying to accomplish? Why do you watch your
breath?" I have never met anyone that has given me the
correct answer.
The reason they don't know is because they are not enlightened.
If they were, then they might not even meditate anymore, or they
might, it would make no difference. You see, the simple truth
that is missed by almost every meditator is this, the act of
sitting there watching your breath is enlightenment. That is all.
You are not doing something to gain something, just sitting there
is enlightenment. That still state with calmed mind, just that is
enlightenment, yet that annoying gossip over there interrupting
your meditation, just that is enlightenment and that guy flipping
you off in commuter traffic, just that is enlightenment. There is
no doer, no experiencer, no one who acts. Manifestation emerges,
actless, mindless and just that is enlightenment.
People meditate today because it is popular or because they want
to have a mystical experience or just relax. The latter reason
may actually be the most legitimate for the average person. But
no one I know says they meditate because they are deliberately
engaging in an actless act, or attempting to resolve a false
sense of being into a beingless existence. And of the many
meditators out there, I suspect that the majority would be
shocked if I told them the guy flipping them off in traffic is
more enlightened than they.
The point I'm trying to make and have been trying to make is that
enlightenment is so natural and so easy that any attempt at
deliberate practice towards it will get you farther from it, yet
paradoxically, you have never once not been enlightened and no
matter how strained and deliberate your efforts towards it, you
never once acted!
So in closing, Enlightenment can be talked about, it can be
understood, it is not mysterious nor does it need to be cloaked
in a secret "Boy's Only" club language. Enlightenment
is the feeling/knowing that no one exists including you and that
everything that happens does so spontaneously and perfectly.
Enlightenment is the feeling/knowing that what exists is
Universe/Consciousness, they are the same, U=C. Existence is
itself consciousness and that is why there is something rather
than nothing. This is the real state of things and because it is
so natural, so simple and so obvious, we miss it daily.
by Steven Norquist
Steven Norquist and Spiritualteachers.org
A note from Steven:
My original essay "What is Enlightenment" and my new
book "The Haunted Universe" (www.haunteduniverse.net )
together, cover all the bases. If anyone is interested they can
request to purchase a copy by e-mailing me at,
info@haunteduniverse.net