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Nonduality Highlights: Issue #3597, Saturday, July 18, 2009, Editor: Mark
Thoughts, emotions and appearances are all the energy of
presence-awareness. No matter what appears, who you are remains
clear and present. Seeing this is the anchor that holds you
secure in the storms of thought.
- John Wheeler
You Don't Need a Suitcase
I had many misconceptions at one time about what "this"
looked like - this freedom, or whatever - and it always looked
like something I could imagine or create from the experiences I
already had, extrapolating from what I already knew. But this
can't be imagined. This is a total surprise.
I always expected more life goodies, like peace, happiness, ease,
a fulfilling relationship, perfect health, respect from my peers,
and also, I expected that everywhere I laid my eyes there should
be some feeling of total bliss - shock and awe every moment for
the joyous bounty that is in front of me, if only I could see it
without my own limiting selfish mind standing in the way of me
and the truth. I would see every cell of life animated before my
eyes, because I would not be distracted by petty stuff. How
frustrating that I could not see this psychedelic world I surely
lived in!
But this was all selfish imaginings. I wanted more for me,
spectacle for me, drama for me, peace for me, adoration for me,
love in every moment, for me. And this turns out not to have
anything to do with me. And the surprising thing is, it's joyous!
It's love, it's life, it's freedom, all unfolding naturally in my
path - but none of these things is for me. They are there, they
have always been there, when I'm not conjuring up a problem;
life, love, and joy are there, but they don't need me. And
interestingly, the "me" was made entirely of those
problems I'd been thinking of. Without calling up a problem,
there is no "me," and all that remains is impersonal
life, impersonal love, whatever you want to call it. Nothing that
"I" want, because if I can imagine it, it's just part
of the prison.
So any idea you have of what this is - it is not. It can't be.
This can't be something conjured out of your existing memories,
which is all you have as a self. So if you go to any idea of what
you must have in order to feel like you "have" it, that
can't be it. It can't be thought of, it can't be imagined out of
what you know. So you can stop trying to second-guess this. This
arises only in what is not known. All that is known or imagined,
or can possibly be known or imagined, is part of the prison.
All that remains is living, with no problems. Is it really as
simple as that? Yes, it is. But is that my living, with no
problems? No, it's not mine. When no problems are conjured up to
think about, no "me-ness" arises; which tends to
reinforce the idea that this livingness is impersonal; and that
tends to reinforce the idea that there is nothing to lose,
because nothing in the general "livingness" can ever be
lost. So the validation starts building on itself, and the
problems are conjured up less and less, until they are seen to
never have existed at all. So, where was the "me"?
Where was it, ever? Did it ever exist?
The point I've been trying to make is: don't be under the
misconception that you can set a goal of "having this"
and work towards it, by reading, watching videos, going to
seminars, or meditating about it. That is just stuff your mind
already knows and wants. Prison.
Subtract, and don't add. Don't add another goal, don't add
another seminar. Drop one of your suitcases today, and drop
another tomorrow, and don't pick anymore up, and see what
happens. Drop the suitcase of opinions. Drop the suitcase of
"I know I'm right." Drop the suitcase of "It has
to be this way or I'll die." Drop the suitcase of "I
have to do something to be free." Don't pick up another one.
If you accidentally stumble across a place where you don't know
anything at all - your mind is blank and can't find a single
thing that means anything - stick around for a while. Feel
around, get to know the place. It doesn't mean you've failed, it
means you're beginning to let go of your death grip on your
suitcases.
Let them all drop. You don't need a suitcase where you're going.
- Annette Nibley
See right now that what you perceive as emptiness actually
radiates with perceptible knowingness. It is thoroughly beyond
and prior-to all thoughts, speculations, and spirituality.
- Rodney Stevens
Since you are awareness there is no need to attain or cultivate
it.
The state of pure being, which is common to all and which is
always experienced directly by everybody, is one's true nature.
Realization is for everyone; realization makes no difference
between the aspirants.
Realization is equally accessible to everyone, irrespective of
their physical circumstances.
- Ramana Maharshi
Seeing that there is a gap between thoughts is the first step.
Then it becomes obvious that the whole thing is one big gap with
thoughts appearing on top of it. Then you find that you are that
gap. Then you can't find a gap between thoughts, because the
thoughts themselves are made of 'gap,' which you are; it is like
an eye trying to see itself.
- Robin Dale