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Nondual Highlights: Issue #2878, Saturday, July 21, 2007, Editor: Mark
It was misty outside this morning - heck, we live on top of a
mountain, for god's sake!
since I was up early I went outside to get rid of the haze before
anyone else got up... but no matter how I tried - oh, I wielded
big broom - it would not go away.. Ted the maintenance man came
outside with his coffee... tried to help.. he had a spray can of
somethin' or other... but the fog persisted...
we went back in for breakfast... sat out on patio with rest of
staff.. everyone jabbered about the mist... where did it come
from? it was not there last night!... what can we do? it affected
each of our lives different ways.. for Sue she wanted to go on
her morning walk but was afraid she would get lost... Jack needed
to work in the garden and worried that he might not put the right
fertilizer on the right plant.. and the construction manager
fussed about how the fog would delay the crew once they got
here... we had a lot of discussion about how we could get rid of
that cloud.. so we could see clearly... with nothin' in our
way...
we finally decided all of our might together might be better than
each one tryin' our own techniques... so the house manager passed
out these big ole brushes to everyone and we stood in a line and
everyone brushed the haze in front of them as hard as they
could... didn't work... that friggin' cloud was still there!..
then as we turned to go back in the house... just like that! the
cloud was gone!
it had come from nowhere, stayed awhile, and then poof! it was
gone...
the abbot of the monastery came out front door chompin' on a ripe
peach... turned to us and said: just like all those thoughts you
think are so important... leave them alone... and they will
dissolve back into the causeless space you call the sky...
he then started throwin' pieces of the peach to a chipmonk...
i love that abbot.
- dg, posted to DailyDharma
whether bitter or sweet
clear or foggy
empty or full
none of those matter so much
as whether "to me"
or not
when "to me" dissolves
bitter or sweet
clear or foggy
empty or full
simply are
Bill Rishel, posted to The_Now1
Here is a short (relative term) spiritual autobiography. I
composed it in response to Stephen's "What led you to Full
Oneness experience". I also occurred to me that this story
will be of interest to some here who might see a similarity in
the description given regarding stage B1 below and Tolle's
description in the beginning of The Power of Now where he
recounts his saying, "I want to die," and then abruptly
asks, "*Who* said that?" [am paraphrasing as have no
copy of that book]
In truth what led me, then now and always, is Truth. Loving Truth
more than happiness. Loving Truth more than anything. There is no
method, technique, path that leads to the End except Truth. That
is my view.
That being said, here is my story:
To put this in terms of Stephen's "Full Oneness
Experience"...
I have found that:
A. there is "oneness experience" that can be
interrupted
B. there is uninterrupted Oneness
A is an experience. B is the end of experience as such, as sense
of "self" that might have such experience is
"evaporated".
Also, in my case, there were stages along the way.
STAGES ======================================
Stage A1:
For me the first stage of A was "silent mind" or
"ending of internal dialog." Initially for hours at a
time, then for longer until that became the "normal"
condition.
Stage A2:
Decades after the beginning of stage A1 came deeply established
heart-centeredness.
Stage B1: Then, about a year later, there was a
"transition" after which there was no
"self-consciousness", meaning the kind of
self-consciousness one might feel going into a crowded room for
example. Stage B2:
Shortly after the end of "self-consciousness" there was
a realization of no inner/outer distinction. Inside and outside
became one continuum. And that one continuum came to no longer
have a sense of "space" per se, as no longer a sense of
any "here" vs. "there" in that.
WHAT LED TO ===================================
Not easy to say, actually. Can one really know? I'll do my best.
Re A1, silent mind:
I found great value in Krishnamurti's advice regarding the
arising of thoughts. He said to not try to change them, stop
them, etc., but to simply observe them. Allow them to expend
themselves. In other words *simply witness*.
Re A2, deeply established heart-centeredness:
The following is an account I have written on this:
Although I had been on a "spiritual path" for my entire
adult life, at one point several years ago I came to realize that
I wasn't living it 100%. I decided to start "being in my
heart" (hard to define exactly what that meant to me a the
time) throughout the day, and in particular any time I was
interacting with another person. My intent was to "speak
from my heart" at all times, if on the phone, writing
emails, any contact with another person.
After the first day it seemed I had succeeded in actually doing
that perhaps for a few seconds. But each day it increased until
after about two months it seemed to have become a steady way of
responding and being. At four months there was a profound
transformation of the heart, one of the deepest spiritual
experiences of my life. Since then "being in my heart"
is not something I choose to do, it is simply what is. It is
actually impossible now to be otherwise (hard to explain).
I am describing this matter of "being in the heart" as
something very simple but also very grounding, a confronting of
the present in a real, actual way.
After some months of the practice described above there was a
very profound heart experience. I described it at the time as if
an experience of "two oceans merging in my heart". I
was fundamentally and irrevokably changed. I was in a bliss state
for four or five months. And it took even longer before I was
able think about mental things like software.
Then I went into the most harrowing portion of my life. I was
working as a temporary teacher (math) in a high school. I pretty
much cracked up after three months. I was a nervous wreck and
very depressed.
Re B1, no "self-consciousness":
I left that job and shortly after decided to inquire into what I
really wanted to do. I had been reading Nisargadatta a lot during
the ordeal. He was a kind of life raft for me. So when I sat down
to meditate and investigate what I really wanted to do, I was
thinking about his "I am" notion. It occurred to me
that I had always thought I knew what he meant by "I
am", but that really, perhaps I had no clue. So when I went
into meditation I had the intent of inquiring into what he
actually meant by "I am".
There is as if a "missing gap", because the next thing
I remember, and remember very vividly, is the following:
I was deep within (apparently) because I was seeing a stream of
pulses "going out" from my heart area in my chest
(roughly). They were going "out" in a straight line
toward the front of me, and a very little to the left. I realized
that any one of them, if "opened" could become a whole
experience in itself. But I just observed them.
Then the gaze moved over to the right, and Lo! there was another
stream of pulses moving out, going out from my chest and a bit to
the right. I noticed that these pulses had a bluish color, and
simultaneously realized that the first stream of pulses had had a
reddish color. Again, I realized that any one of the pulses
*could be* opened up, and if so a whole complex of thought would
unfold.
Then the gaze moved back to the left again and Lo! the stream of
reddish pulses was still "going out". And it was clear
that if one of those were "opened" it would become a
world of feeling.
Then the gaze moved to the right again, and the bluish pulses
were still moving out. Then the gaze moved to the left again, and
again the reddish pulses were beheld...
And then -- SUDDENLY -- the question "What's looking back
and forth?" arose.
It was if two hands clapping had caused an illusion to disappear.
I abruptly got up, went into my computer room and began working
on the art cards. That was the beginning of what I am still doing
today. I had no forethought about it. I just got up and went in
and worked all night on the art cards.
The next day I did notice something quite different. There was no
"sense of 'me'". By a "sense of me" I mean
that self-conscious sense one might have going into a crowded
room and feeling everyone's stares upon you.
Re B2, no sense of inner/outer
A very short time after the above described
"transition" I realized that any sense of a location
"within" was imaginary, and in realizing that any sense
of inner/outer disappeared.
THEREAFTER =======================================
About eight months later I got a job working with emotionally
disturbed children. I worked there for a year and a half. The
entire time there was really a spiritual practice, and the
practice was very simple. The practice was to simply stay
"in my heart" at all times, to be centered in my heart.
Some time in the following year I realized that I no longer had a
sense of my "heart center". It was as if what had been
my heart center had *expanded* completely so that all was
encompassed by it. It was impossible to isolate any part of space
subjectively.
For close to a year it was as if there is no "I". As if
the present is a wonderous transparent "meld"... and
not even a "flow"... just sparkling, alive awareness.
There was no real emotion, and yet human experience was somehow
incredibly real and genuine.
There was no "self-consciousness", no sense of,
"This is my experience going on right now."
It has been another year since I wrote the above and those last
passages remain the same.
No sense of "I".... just a sparkling aliveness.
- Bill Rishel, posted to The_Now2
To Know the Moon and the Sea
At the break of dawn a single moon appeared,
descended from the sky, and gazed at me.
Like a falcon swooping in for the catch,
it snatched me up and soared across the sky.
When I looked at myself, I saw myself no more,
because by grace my body had become fine.
I made a journey of the soul accompanied by the moon,
until the secret of time was totally revealed.
Heaven's nine spheres were in that moon.
The vessel of my being had vanished in that sea.
Waves rose on the ocean. Intelligence ascended
and sounded its call. So it happened; so it was.
The sea began to foam and every bit of froth
took shape and was bodied forth.
Then each spindrift body kissed by that sea
immediately melted into spirit.
Without the power of a Shams, the Truth of Tabriz,
one could neither behold the moon nor become the sea.
- Rumi, Ghazal (Ode) N-XIX, version by Kabir Helminski,
from Love is a Stranger
Love Beyond Description
This that is awake, this love that transcends all description,
when it is known as a deep connection and deep unity, this love
is indiscriminate. It doesn't know how to turn itself on and off.
That switch is only in the mind. This love is always on. It loves
saints and sinners equally. That's real love. Imitation love is,
"I love you more than I love anyone else because you fit
into my little twisted world view better than anyone else
does."
True love is synonymous with Truth. It's not different than
Truth.
It's not the love of going to the prom with the perfect person.
That's fine, of course, but this is something different. The
deepest essence of love doesn't fall in and out. Love is, period.
It loves even people your personality /night not like.
This is not because we develop it or become holy, noble, or
saintly.
That has nothing to do with the love I'm speaking about. This
love is a deep and simple recognition, something intuitively
knowing and meeting itself in each experience, in each being, and
in each pair of eyes. It meets itself in everything that happens.
It's the love simply for the fact that there's anything happening
at all, because that's the real miracle. It could so easily be
that nothing exists, much easier to have nothing than something.
It's a miracle that anything happens and we live in this
abundance called life.
-Adyashanti, from: Emptiness Dancing, posted to
adyashantigroup