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#2568 - Tuesday, August 29, 2006 - Editor: Jerry Katz
Excerpt from
I Am I Am and I Am I Am: Confessions from the Disposition of Standing Free.
Jerry Katz, editor.
1. The title of this book is consumed. The beginning of this
book is consumed. The middle of this book is consumed. The end of
this book is consumed. This entire book is non-existent. To say
the book is non-existent is to say it is existent. The sea of
existence and non-existence is parted. All is essenced by the
interval. There I know the One Day. There I Stand Free. The
author is essenced.
2. Standing Free is not a condition. It is not attained by
liberation. It possesses no quality. One cannot become one with
Standing Free, nor can one be separate from Standing Free.
Standing Free is not an emulsion of infinite possibilities; it is
not infinity in suspension, nor is it love in solution. Standing
Free is Ultimate Reality: the instant that essences itself.
3. I am blind: What light?
What reflection of light?
What eye?
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Zero.
4. I have parted not only the neuronal weed but the
5. Contained within this book is nothing mine. This is not an
expression of my knowledge. Nor is it a revelation of my
ignorance. The sea of knowledge and ignorance is parted. I am the
Interval. Standing Free.
6. The One Standing Free is the clear sky beyond the extremely
transcendental. Because The One Standing Free has parted the sea
of yin and yang, The One Standing Free essences The One Standing
Free.
7. I feel all conditions. What conditions do I suffer? I am a
haven for every germ. What decays? Never mind something poetic
about limping through cosmetic departments ... I am present in
the Interval created by the parting of The Sea of Everyone.
8. I am a parter of Seas: The Sea of Guru and Devotee, The Sea of
Instruction and Practice, The Sea of Consciousness and
Unconsciousness. My force is Grace: I Am That. I part the Seas. I
am the Interval-Maker. Standing Free.
9. There is only the Interval. For what has been parted is
also parted without end. Such is a description of the action and
nature of Grace. I am always and only Standing Free. Always and
only in the Interval. The sea is parted, and what has been parted
is parted. This is not a process; this is Grace. This is Light,
Clarity. I am Standing Free. There is only the parting of the Sea
and there is no Sea to part. This is the Interval: the
ever-separation of Void and non-Void. All this can be described.
There is not the occurrence of this separation or
Interval-creation.
10. There is not one event and one event following another,
and there is nothing to understand, and I am untouchable.
11. And there is nothing parting and no birth and death and
What Interval? I am Standing Free.
12. And no body and no condition without the body and no
perception, intelligence, attachment or detachment.
13. There is no list by which the characteristics of my nature
can be given. There is not one quality about my nature. I am
Standing Free.
14. My daily and minute to minute diary comprises a plotting
of various qualities and intensities of thought and action. There
is the positive and the negative. Confidence and lack of
confidence. Success and failure. These have nothing to do with
anything. I am Standing Free.
15. The One Standing Free has neither form nor absence of
form, hence there are no links, no strong or weak links; there is
no continuity or discontinuity. I am Standing Free.
16. Nor does The One Standing Free have regard or disregard
for life, death or being. There is no looking and nothing
forward, back or present.
17. My autobiography is not me. It is a map with highlighted
portions. I am no portion of that map. I am no portion of my
ways. The spirit that moves in me may be the spirit of the
universe, but it is a highlighted portion of the map, one of my
ways, a part of my autobiography. It is nothing. I am Standing
Free.
18. I am free of illusion and of the illusion that there is
neither my illusion nor my freedom from illusion.
19. I am not my job. I am not fixed by goals. Or rather I am
my job. I am a setter of goals.
20. I am free from information, scholarship and spirituality.
Or rather I am bound to it.
21. There is no "all that is and ever has been," nor
is there the absence of that. What is The World To Come? I am
Standing Free, Standing Alone. Five thousand years have passed
since the composition of these verses. I am reading them.
22. I Am the Pure Clear Light. I Am the Interval. I cannot be
seen, nor am I distant. I can only be become. I am the atmosphere
in which the extremely transcendental pulsates and finally, like
ego, dies.
23. How then can I speak of action, principles, merit or
values? I am the Self: pure, all-pervasive, neither bound nor
free.
24. As the mirage is not known to be water unless one has known water, these verses could not hold the shimmer of the Absolute unless one has known the Absolute. There is only Standing Free.