Nonduality Salon Highlights, #1666

"When one has an image about oneself one surely is insane, one lives in a world of illusion."-- J. Krishnamurti

"When I attained pure and perfect enlightenment, I realized that there is no such thing as pure and perfect enlightenment. Marvelous! Marvelous!" Buddha

http://www.boulderbellygrams.com/jokes%20&%20miscellaneous.htm Ed. note: the above illustration is from a belly dancing page! Ain't life grand?!

--- In NondualitySalon@yahoogroups.com, Michael Bowes wrote:
> Dear Friends,
>
> All of the spiritual greats have talked about
> themselves and their experiences. If they hadn't we
> wouldn't know anything about what made them the way
> they were/are.
>
> Love,
>
> michael

Well, I think "How I Got Enlightened" stories are interesting, but
Karta posted this Nisargadatta pointing on another list, and it got me
thinking about how some people spend way too much time retelling their
"Enlightenment" story over and over and over. It seems here that when
there is so much retelling, there is no present experience and the
retelling becomes a reinforcement of the dream/hallucination/etc. they
once had. Anyway, here's the post:

Question: When I meditate I fall asleep. What can I do to overcome
that?

Maharaj: Don't raise this problem at all with me. You are in the
three states, the waking state, deep sleep state and the knowledge you
are, so why are you dealing with the state, which you are not? Why are
you interested? It is spontaneously happening. You have to understand
that when you are being stabilized in a state prior to waking state,
deep sleep, prior to words and even prior to consciousness, something
happens in your body state without you doing it. Leave it alone. Don't
ask questions about that. You are on this side and if something is
happening, why are you worried about it? Be yourself. If you are
yourself, you need not worry about what is happening at the other end.
You are interested in your experiential state. There are so many
experiences; such as, I saw blue light, I went up, etc., don't tell me
all those things. Be your self and not the experiences. This is also a
temporary phase and you are giving it undue importance by saying. "Oh,
it is something!" It happens naturally.

There was a gentleman who came to me and he told me he would start
crying and sobbing for about 10 minutes when he meditated. He thought
it was a very great thing that happened to him in the process of
Self-realization. What is the point of getting excited and saying,
"Oh! I started crying!" So what! You are not the one crying; you are
not your emotions, are you? So many people come to Maharaj to tell him
of the spiritual experiences, which they have undergone through
meditation, just to show people "I am something!"

final talks: Consciousness and the Absolute June 10, 1981

Sarlo's Law of Inverse Hype says the amount of enlightenment varies inversely as the square of the speed of hype. This is expressed in the formula, S=eh², where S is Sarlo's Constant, e is enlightenment, measured in oneness and h is the speed of hype, measured in jerks (total jabberings, exaggerations, rhetoric and know-it-alls) per second. Enlightenment can never actually be zero since hype cannot be infinite but we can say that when hype approaches infinity, enlightenment approaches zero.

Another term for S is the Cosmic Orgasm Background Constant. The COBC is understood to be the rate at which energy vibrates throughout the universe since the Big Bang. Its exact value is not yet known, but it has been experimentally determined to be approximately 1.41459, which hints strongly at the square root of 2. The theoretical basis for this is not completely understood but it suggests that duality is the root constant in all relationships between ultimate understanding and projected dreams.

This formula clearly becomes more fallible as we approach the other end, zero hype; ie absence of hype obviously cannot guarantee infinite enlightenment. Another variable either needs to be factored in to account for that, or we need to move on to other criteria.

more at: http://www.globalserve.net/~sarlo/Critexpo.htm

(Editor's note: The following is an excerpt from Sarlo's Guru Rating Service. It is an interview with Pema Chodrun in the June, 1993 issue of the Buddhist magazine Tricycle )

http://www.globalserve.net/~sarlo/Ypema.htm

Tricycle: Why should dharma teachers be haunted by Big Mind?

Pema Chodron: Because of suffering. Because we are in a prison of our own conception, a prison with a very tiny view. You know how you go to certain places in the world, places that some traditions call power spots, or you enter certain buildings, or meet with certain people, and you get popped out of your mindset and realize you've been in prison? Then you see that you don't ever want to be in prison again. In other words, you realize you have to go against the grain. It just comes to you, in certain situations, and you're ruined for life. [Laughs.] You don't want to go back to the narrow perspective of this habitual mind. But you also realize that the narrow perspective gives you a lot of security. You know it's a false security, a lie, but starting to wake up is a lot like giving up an addiction. You're going to go through withdrawal symptoms, weaning yourself from this addiction to habitual, small-minded patterns of perception. You could say enlightenment is no more addiction. You're just fully awake, fully on the spot, without having to hide out.

The Trickster Guru

Alan Watts

I have often thought of writing a novel, similar to Thomas Mann's "Confessions of Felix Krull," which would be the life story of a charlatan making out as a master guru - either initiated in Tibet or appearing as the reincarnation of Nagar-juna, Padmasambhava, or some other great historical sage of the Orient. It would be a romantic and glamorous tale, flavored with the scent of pines in Himalayan valleys, with garden courtyards in obscure parts of Alexandria, with mountain temples in Japan, and with secretive meetings and initiations in country houses adjoining Paris, New York, and Los Angeles. It would also raise some rather unexpected philosophical questions as to the relations between genuine mysticism and stage magic. But I have neither the patience nor the skill to be a novelist, and thus can do no more than sketch the idea for some more gifted author.

The attractions of being a trickster guru are many. There is power and there is wealth, and still more the satisfactions of being an actor without need for a stage, who turns "real life" into a drama. It is not, furthermore, an illegal undertaking such as selling shares in non-existent corporations, impersonating a doctor, or falsifying checks. There are no recognized and official qualifications for being a guru, though now that some universities are offering courses in meditation and Kundalini Yoga it may soon be necessary to be a member of the U.S. Fraternity of Gurus. But a really fine trickster would get around all that by the one-upmanship of inventing an entirely new discipline outside and beyond all known forms of esoteric teaching.

The full article can be found at: http://sunsite.wits.ac.za/holistic/watrick.htm

http://www.angelfire.com/nm/musictapes/tour2003part2.html

There are Gurus and then there are Gurus. This person bills himself as the Boxing Guru. What does he box? Cigars, apparently. Now, we are not suggesting that our Dear Readers take up cigar worship however, we do hope you get a smile from this... the smoking lamp is lit.

For the Skeptic in us all: http://tftb.com/deify/sorrybut.htm

The Skeptics' Corner

Where 100 Proof means how many experts you'll need to support your claims!

Ed. Note: this is a page of links to various skeptic web pages and sites. One of my favorites is -

The Skeptics' Dictionary - A Guide For The New Millennium. Tired of hearing your favorite fundy thump his Bible and "refute" your scientific facts with ancient Semitic mythology? Want to know how to debunk your favorite New Ager's claims about Kirlian photography or matriarchal Neolithic Great Goddess cults? Want to find a terrestrial explanation for UFO claims? Search the Skeptics' Dictionary! I wouldn't have believed it existed if I hadn't found the site myself...;)

"The ability to be easily and heartily amused brings a wholesome reaction from intense thought or hard work of any kind which does more towards keeping the nervous system in a normal state than almost anything else of an external kind."

Sushi Performance & Visual Art and the up and coming group Ghost Town present "The Queen's Rain. This surrealistic slap-stick love story is an interdisciplinary, underwater, science fiction metropolis set in Lovin-bluffin-stuff-a-lot and features two characters' struggle towards an understanding of their origins, in a world on the verge of total destruction.

An evil archbishop, a dying Queen, a Midget, a Giant and a set of Siamese Twins must be all overcome! Zebee and Jack, star-crossed lovers and estranged brother and sister, struggle with insanity and starvation in this epic, surreal story about the will power needed top realize one's destiny. Set in an underwater, science fiction metropolis, combines modern dance with experimental theater, electronic music, vocal composition, video and animation. The Queen's Rain tells us the epic tale of how love and the search for Self can be ultimate vehicles for the destruction and creation of one's identity."

"The Code of Shit" over 1000 rules for living that even a fool can follow. by Kevin Everett FitzMaurice, M.S.

DESCRIPTION: Over 1400 rules for living without shit. Wonderful, helpful, and useful collection of the very best one-liners ever published! Rules that make your problems so simple and obvious that all you can do is to laugh your way to sanity! The rules are numbered and divided into 15 main categories. Copyright 2002. 168 pages, 6.25 inches x 4.5 inches, 6 ounces, spiral/comb bound. ISBN 1-878693-13-1. $12.95 each.

Guitar playing is a Spiritual Art, for it is a musickal form of both Magick and Alchemy. It is a creative manipulation of the Elements of Nature and an artistic transmutation of Universal Forces through the skillful use of the hands and sound. It effects changes in both the player and the listener. With a proper understanding of both the technical and spiritual aspects of playing the Guitar, one is able to use the Guitar as an efficient instrument of the Will to create internal and external changes. The Guitar has its own Science, both conventional and unconventional in kind, and for the most part we are concerned here with the unconventional or rather spiritual and occult aspect of it all.

I am a New Yorker
I do not live in the five boroughs or on the Island
or Upstate
I may live hundreds or thousands of miles away
Or I may live just over the GW Bridge
But I am a New Yorker

I am a New Yorker
Whatever took me out of New York:
Business, family or hating the cold
did not take New York out of me.
My accent may have faded and my pace may have slowed
But I am a New Yorker

I am a New Yorker
I was raised on Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and Rockefeller Plaza,
The Yankees or the Mets (Giants or Dodgers) Jones Beach or Rye Beach or
one of the beaches on the sound (Orchard Beach)
I know that "THE END" means Montauk.
Because I am a New Yorker

I am a New Yorker
When I go on vacation, I never look up
Skyscrapers are something I take for granted
The Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty
are part of me
Taxis and noise and subways and "get outa heah"
don't rattle me
Because I am a New Yorker

I am a New Yorker
I was raised on cultural diversity before it was politically correct
I eat Greek food and Italian food, Jewish and Middle Eastern food and Chinese
food
Because they are all American food to me.
I don't get mad when people speak other languages in
my presence
Because my relatives got to this country via Ellis
Island and chose to stay
They were New Yorkers

I am a New Yorker
People who have never been to New York have
misunderstood me
My friends and family work in the industries,
professions and businesses that
benefit all Americansl
My firefighters died trying to save New Yorkers and non-New Yorkers
They died trying to save Americans and non-Americans
Because they were New Yorkers.

I am a New Yorker
I feel the pain of my fellow New Yorkers
I mourn the loss of my beautiful city
I feel and dread that New York will never be the same

But then I remember:
I am a New Yorker
And New Yorkers have:
Tenacity, strength and courage way above the norm
Compassion and caring for our fellow citizens
Love and pride in our city, in our state, in our country
Intelligence, experience and education par excellence
Ability, dedication and energy above and beyond
Faith-no matter what religion we practice
Terrorists hit America in its heart
But America's heart still beats strong
Demolish the steel in our buildings,
but it doesn't touch the steel in our souls
Hit us in the pocketbook;
but we'll parlay what we have left into a fortune
End innocent lives leaving widows and orphans,
but we'll take care of them
Because they are New Yorkers

Wherever we live, whatever we do, whoever we are
There are New Yorkers in every state and every city of this nation
We will not abandon our city
We will not abandon our brothers and sisters
We will not abandon the beauty, creativity and diversity that New York
represents
Because we are New Yorkers

And we are proud to be New Yorkers

(anonymous)

They sing, they shout, they belly laugh, they fight, they bang things together, they bounce things, they cry, they scream, they make lots of noise. They play loud.

Bless my healthy children. Give me new ears, ears that hear the music of their noise.

Give me new understanding, understanding that doesn't crush their spirits with my intolerance and oversensitivity.

Give me a new Peace, a Peace that is grateful for the sounds created by healthy children.

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile
can be the source of your joy.
Thich Nhat Hanh

Everytime it rains, it rains... Pennies from Heaven

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be
happy, practice compassion.
The Dalai Lama

That best portion of a good man's life: his little, nameless,
unremembered acts of kindness and love.
William Wordsworth

All you have shall some day be given; Therefore give now, that the
season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors,
Kahlil Gibran

People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge
waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass
of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by
themselves without wondering.
St.Augustine

Awakening to the Dream

The Gift of Lucid Living.

"This book will be of great assistance to the seeming many." Sailor Bob Adamson
www.awakeningtothedream.com

The Texture of Being
by Roy Whenary"We do not need to search in order to find our true Being. We already are it, and the mind which searches for it is the very reason why we cannot find it."
Reviews, excerpts and ordering info.
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"The Enlightenment Trilogy"
by Chuck Hillig
Enlightenment for Beginners Read the Reviews
The Way IT Is Read the Reviews
Seeds for the Soul Read the Reviews
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