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#1528 - Tuesday, August 19, 2003 - Editor: Jerry
NIna
NDS
Lately, nothing.
I come home, shedding work, the highway, the
car, my purse and bags. I
bring the dogs in and feed them. I wander aimlessly around my
house,
looking for something to do, something to fill the space. I pat
the dog
that crosses my path. I pick things up sometimes, look at them,
perhaps
move them to another spot. To escape this, I sit at my computer
and
dredge up some purpose, like researching every possible thing
about any
possible something. It fills the evening until I can justify
going to
sleep.
Sometimes, sitting at the computer, my eyes
stray above the monitor,
through the double windows beyond my desk, out into the side yard
onto
the big oak across the way. It is immense and patient.
Outside, the air is humid, and cold. No, it
isn't cold, it just seems
that way; the sky is fading to dusk and conditioned air blows
across my
bare feet.
There are streetlights, then fireflies. One
sits on my screen,
blinking. This goes on for hours. I know this because I compare
the
start and finish times on my screen's digital clock.
There were neighbors here before we moved in, but now there are none.
Just that giant oak tree. When was it
planted? The house was built in
1929, probably the storm sewer later than that. It is one of the
largest trees in the neighborhood. When did the storm sewer break
and
send the collected waters of storms flooding over the roots of a
growing tree? These are questions, but there are no answers. Only
silence, and rough bark and leaves too numerous to count. It is a
face
off, me and the tree. I wait for it to blink.
Nanao Sakaki
Just Enough
Soil for legs
Axe for hands
Flower for
eyes
Bird for ears
Mushrooms for nose
Smile for mouth
Songs for lungs
Sweat for skin
Wind for mind
You are hunting power and this is your place,
the place where you will store your resources.
--Carlos Castaneda JOURNEY TO IXTLAN
"Awareness is putting away dishes quietly."
Small sign outside the kitchen door at Yasodhara Ashram .
Jerry
1958 November Photograph
kosher turkey golden
olive radish pickle platter
loganberry wine sweet
hoffman soda
on long narrow table
at Aunt Hessie and Uncle Morris
in Passaic
we smile around the table Cousin Carl
Cousin Barbara Cousin Bruce Aunt Yetta
(who's that sitting next to Aunt Yetta?)
Uncle Benny Cousin Minnie Cousin Julie
Aunt Hessie Uncle Morris Cousin Barry Aunt
Dot Uncle Bernie Grandma Markel Grandpa
Markel Cousin Joanie my brothers
Jeffrey David parents Sarah Mel
& I all gathered together
like a ghetto unchained
coursing easy down twilight river
who is that next to Yetta?