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HIGH JUMP, Tarun Sardana

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After Awareness: The End of the Path

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Highlights #492

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Friday October 6, 2000


> Our discussions of 'moving energy' deserve careful consideration;
> is good to avoid preoccupation with 'phenomena', but if something
> apparent, it is bad to ignore it.

Hi Gene,

A deep bow for your investigations and writings.

For explanatory purposes the Bonpo divide That into three areas ---
The space of mind, the space of phenomena, and the space of space.
Then they say, however, that there is no separation between the spaces
--- they are simply a unity.

One of the methods used to recognize this unity is the 49 day dark
retreat where the retreatant comes to the understanding that all is
originating from themselves. Additionally there is the practice of
sky-gazing where one integrates with the sky. The Bonpo have many
practical and profound methods for arriving at this understanding.

Just an interjection which may be of interest.




dear andrew,

i am very surprised to read this message of you this morning. my , by
yesterdays and this early morning happened and still happening shakes
and quakes, shattered + unmasked ego, wants to bath in your attention.

in this darkest darkness, light was hidden, and accidently, what you
proposed to me, namily to let go of my "peaceful perception", and to
see what is beneath, in this spirit of inquiry, happened a few hours

yes, even love rises from "source". enlightenment rises from "source".
and the i wants It. so sneaky, so tricky and so selfdeceiving,
building right away a new identity and looking for a showroom to play
the saviour, and to get finally love and attention and approval and
power!!! i am talking about MY EGO, not for anybody elses.

and how i perceive anything, i see it through my taken on filters of
mind, in my imagination, and if i do not ask : "who sees it?" , i am
trapped, however enlightned and bright the perception or identity is!!

i also found that it is ,at least for me, impossible to understand
the mystery of life or myself. sri nisargadatta said: "understanding
is all". for me its not. understanding is important, but it can never
ever substitute experience and stillness. for me it is like this.
and my wish to understand was always the attempt to have control, and
to avoid to give over and to let go.!

the i, wishing to "finally understand, to be able to let go",what a
great trick to resist and avoid.

there is no possibility of control. none.

and , shame. the other side of the coin is arrogance and pride. have
it better to see as denying it .

thank you!!

burning hearts



dear franz,

I am so happy reading your post. Especially that what you say happened before
you read
my post. I recognised something in your post, that blissful peace you spoke of
so easy
a place to stay in its warm sweetness, an ocean of ambrosia, and so hard to set
aside, but it is a gilded cage but only seen as such from the outside.
Experience is
endless and can never be held on to any more than 'i' can be. No permanent i no
permanent experience. Understanding grows by the continuous flow of experience.


Dear Nobody,

Thank you for sharing
your insights here.

Apart from my experience
here, now, what is there?
Talk of shame, of body,
of feeling -- this
is only for "me"
only for "now and here"...

Any and all experience
is "mine, here, now"...

Talk matters not at all
except insofar it
assists me opening to
who I am, here, now,
even "prior to"
any experiencing
or collection of experience.

What talk can do this for me?

And yet, we talk.

And why not, we are
free to talk...

I enjoy open talk,
talk that is not
talk that doesn't
overly strive to impress
a point or make
someone see.

There is no one to
make see, and nothing
for them to be made
to see.


JERRY coming up for air

Thanks, Greg. I'm settling in. Wow, your dad designed part of
Disneyland. I always wondered who designed the Twilight Zone. Remember
on the Twilight Zone, Rod Serling would say, 'There's a signpost ahead,
next stop, the Twilight Zone.' They would show an actual wooden sign
post. I always wondered who put that signpost up. Did some workman get
up one morning and tell his wife, Yeah honey gotta go put up a sign in
the twilight zone. Maybe your dad was the designer behind that, figuring
out how the sign would float around in space. Wait, it's starting to
sound very familiar! Yikes!




ºWhen I thought about how the world could be created from oneness I did have
ºanother thought. If we go back to the analogy of the ocean wave only
ºexisting because there is an interface between water and no water. Actually
ºthis is not quite true as there is water in the air. This makes me wonder
ºif awareness can undergo changes in "density", i.e., awareness more or less
ºI do not have any answer. Just interesting speculation that I have not seen

Interesting speculation indeed - man is fixated on "begin" and end" because that
is the case for all manifested objects, although the "hint" is that apparently
manifestation goes on ad infinitum. However it is more likely that manifest and
unmanifest aren't a duality but are oneness and although the human mind
conceives things like a "begin" - the Big Bang, one wonders about what caused it
etc. so it can't be a begin. This sets one on a course of perceived cause and
effect, and in that case the "begin" is as hypothetical as the convergence of
two parallel lines in the "infinite" :)



Da Free John:

When you see that you are always seeking, understanding is emerging.
When you see the pattern of Naricissus as all your motives, all your
acts, all your seeking, understanding is emerging. When you see you are
always suffering, understanding is emerging. When you see that every
moment is a process in dilemma, understanding is emerging. When you see
that every moment is a process of identification, differentiation, and
desire, understanding is emerging. When you see that every moment, when
you are at your best as well as when you are at your worst, you are only
avoiding relationship, then you understand. When you see that which
already is, apart from the avoidance of relationship, which already
absorbs consciousness prior to the whole dilemma, motivation and
activity of avoidance, then you have finally understood.

When you have understood (when that insight has become real),
understanding will become the natural response of your intelligence to
any experience, the total content of any moment. Then approach every
moment with understanding, and perceive the original truth within in.

Therefore, when you have understood, devote yourself to understanding,
in the midst of all experience, instead of any kind of remedial action
that arises as a means to handle the problem of life at any moment.

GENE POOLE excerpts from 3 different longer posts


Quote from above site:

"... It really is very sad, but then that happens
in every religious system. It happens wherever
people are involved. I feel it is very important to
emphasize kindness, especially to people interested
in Tantra or the teachings of Dzogchen. If a person
cannot really connect to a sense of kindness toward
others, then the teachings that stress the non-dual
approach can simply be distorted into a method of
cultivating some form of sanctified misanthropy."

"Other" is an 'aphasic' version of self, which is viewed not
backwards, like a mirror, but actually 'inside out' in every way.
What is seen as outside (walls of box) is actually what is inside the
one doing the viewing (you, awareness). Properly, this 'aphasic'
version of self is called 'inversion', a term used almost exclusively
in Buddhism. It is difficult to understand, but can be found in the
Avatamsaka Sutra.


Now on to the kernel of the issue:

The 'textures of everyday life' seem to desensitize us to what we
would see, as we look beyond the foreground onto the background. This
is why I advise merely 'not focusing' on foreground events; while
looking beyond them into infinity (the far distance), what is seen is
not coarse, but extremely fine in texture. Huge objects (planets,
stars, galaxies) are finer than the tiniest grains of sand. This is
the seamless nature of 'Display'. It is upon or against this
background, that movement is seen. Movement which can be seen is
gross, in comparison to the fine background. Our attention is
conditioned to be drawn to this 'concrete' layer of movement. It is
in this foreground that insufficiencies are perceived, and 'fixes'
attempted. One becomes 'one with the movement of the foreground'
unless one 'remembers oneself' (empty awareness), in which all
movement is occurring.

Empty awareness


does not discriminate, but does notice, and can describe and even
'explain' in a relativistic context. This is what I am attempting

So the talk of ordinary daily existence is really the revealing of
awareness of self ("I") and what self observes (other), but it is
common to become lost in chatter with oneself (the internal
conversation), because all talk is really with self, but this self is
known as other. Remember the two-headed snake, each head thinks the
other is a separate snake.

"Knowing this, I know what I do not know". This is empty awareness,
seeing movement; that which recedes from the grasp, which cannot be
touched, is simply moving toward my own other 'head', which if I ask
it as 'other', can tell me all about how I look to 'it', and I can
return the favor. This becomes really interesting when both self and
other are self-aware; the snake sees itself and has a very satisfying
meal, which can go on for infinity. Yum!


"What is seen?"

Now, to move to what is apparently seen; this I referred to as the
'scanner', which in movement fast or slow, is a readout of the action
of mind relative to itself, as seen against the finest background
texture of infinite other, or 'self'. Now we are getting somewhere!

The 'scanner' is the looker, looking at the fine texture of infinity;
you notice the movement BECAUSE YOU ARE LOOKING. It is the action of
looking, which is the motion you are seeing.

If you simply look beyond the motion, the motion will slow and slow.
If you do this with calm deliberation, and keep it up, time as you
'know it' will cease.

If you can understand what you just read, congratulations!


Travel is a function of movement in space. But all space is really,
one space. If time ceases, movement is no longer an issue; movement
needs time. When time ceases, all space is one space (awareness is
'unified'). The background is then, where you are. You have just
traveled to the opposite 'end' of infinity; you have become the
'other' you were perceiving. Now, your texture is as fine as
infinity. Now, you are able to notice the most subtle movements in
yourself (space).

Now you know mind, as the movement of enquiry.

Self-awareness can be said to be the cessation of time, space, and
the self which was seeing other; now, self is other.

[end of transmission]


>I mean what is the function of emotion????? I keep trying to make it
>a fuel of some sort....in this sense the pleasure evokes a desire to
>keep seeing the foreground, background shifting......but this may be
>focusing on the phenomenon right?????

Marcia, you are coming down to what I recognize as an important place to be.

You are sensing (properly) what I refer to as the 'compass of pleasure'.

This is my own concept, which I have used many times to guide others
toward the 'Ultimate Selfishness', awareness of Enlightened

If you follow that compass, you cannot go wrong. But this is NOT to
say, 'if it feels good, do it'. An intelligent adult knows about
hangovers, side-effects, jail, and other unpleasantness. The compass
of pleasure must be used, with corrections (similar to 'magnetic
deviation' with actual compass) of degrees of informed wisdom.

Still, I advocate that a mature one, follow that compass. Here are
the statements:

"You can have it all"

"You are all that you can have"

The compass points always to what is suited for you.

Emotion is movement (yeah, 'of energy'), but more gross than thought.
Feeling senses emotion.

Thought-movement can overwhelm feeling, with emotion which is a
self-reward for thinking only 'safe' thoughts. Knowing safety, is
also knowing the alternative. But in maturity, one knows (usually
from experience) that there is no substitute for experience.
Eventually one leaves behind thoughts which are used to disguise what
is aversive. The compass of pleasure can navigate perfectly, in an
aversive universe, but only if feeling is freed from overwhelming
emotion. It is feeling which is this compass, but a person who
censors self with value-laden identifications, makes so much
territory taboo, that one ends up policing others. This is the
dilemma of our parents.

Our parents gave us the conditioning to be safe in a world of
irrationality, but in doing so, did not example to us what a
self-aware person is. Safety is not a substitute for self-awareness,
but rule-following was given the highest priority. We are only now
exploring the possibility of real freedom.

A free person does not censor self, but instead controls self. This
self-control is to be free, not safe. Freedom is the only real
safety, but one who is free, is in no danger. The one who is free is
in no danger, because of self-control.

Now we have to salvage self-control from the bad name it was given by
the way our parents used it on themselves and on their children. The
example of 'self-control' our parents gave us was this:

"Follow my example of self-control, or I will control you". This is
experienced however, as:

"Self-control makes me an asshole. Be like me."

Freedom is not the opposite of self-control, it is self-control. The
compass of pleasure works only for those who are mature enough to use
it wisely.

==Gene Poole==

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