But he who has achieved unity
forgets all and forgets himself.
If he is asked: "Are you, or are you not?
Have you or have you not the feeling of existence?
Are you in the middle or on the border?
Are you mortal or immortal?"
he will reply with certainty:
"I know nothing,
I understand nothing,
I am unaware of myself.
I am in love, but with whom
I do not know.
My heart is at the same time
both full and empty of love."
- Attar
You know that you are. Don't burden
yourself with names, just be. Any name or shape you give yourself
obscures your real nature. -Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
That self is empty like space; but it is not nothingness, since
it is consciousness. It is: yet because it cannot be experienced
by the mind and senses, it is not. It being the self of all, it
is not experienced (as the object of experience) by anyone.
Though one, it is reflected in the infinite atoms of existence
and hence appears to be many. This appearance is however
unreal... But the self is not unreal. It is not a void or
nothingness: for it is the self of all...
Nothing is necessary for spiritual
change. In fact, nothing needs to change -- spiritual or
otherwise. It is as it is and it's perfect -- an ever-new
emergence of All from Void -- now and now and now... This is the
absolute truth. And yet, the obstacles to having truth flood
one's being are formidable. Why is this? Why is it so difficult
to see the truth of who we are? For something as obvious and
self-evident as one's natural state to remain unseen and
unexperienced is a masterpiece of legerdemain. It seems the only
explanation is that a powerful counter-force is in play, and
indeed that's the case. The magician at work is the id-entity, an
elusive phantom that will fight to the death -- literally -- to
maintain the illusion it creates.
The most expedient method for dislodging the id-entity is to
confront it directly and ask tough questions. This is
self-inquiry, self-interrogation. Don't be distracted by the
flurry of decoys and red herrings it throws out -- the
personality quirks and tantalizing memories of past
imperfections. This is where it wants to play, in the muck and
mire of personal history. Here it has home field advantage. It
will do everything in its power to keep you looking under those
rocks for the duration. There's no end to it. Rather, look
straight at it, at the heart of the matter, at the myth of
personhood itself. Is there a self to study? If so, then by all
means have at it. If not, why study something that doesn't exist?
First things first.
A certain amount of persona-study is necessary to demystify the
workings of one's particular vehicle. Beyond that it risks
becoming a narcissistic indulgence. We need only be concerned
with those aspects of persona that block truth. In actuality,
very few of one's traits fall into this category. Focus on those
and leave the rest to wither. How can we know which ones stand in
the way? Move along a narrow path in the direction of your
longest view and see what you hit. The direction of your movement
will determine what stands in the way. Deal only with those
things that block the path and keep moving. Do not look right or
left at extraneous quirks that appear to need fixing -- Sirens
conjured by the identity to distract and delay you. Don't get
sidetracked trying to become a better robot. Don't waste time
polishing the turd. It doesn't hold truth and it won't take a
shine.
The path is subtractive here as elsewhere. We love what we
believe to be unique personal aspects of our individuality --
memories, character traits, opinions... We like to think of
ourselves as extremely complex, with burdens and challenges and
destinies of mythic proportion. That's a lot to carry. Weed out
as much of this as possible and focus available energy on actual
obstacles, not seductive cul-de-sacs and dead ends. The danger is
that psychological self-study becomes an ego game, a goal in
itself -- an endless tail-chasing device that locks one into the
idea that the person can be fixed, that it needs to be fixed
before moving forward. It becomes a reason for procrasti-nation,
a reason to refuse freedom, a reason to hold grace at bay.
"I am not yet worthy," we protest, and fend off God
with all our might.
Move in any direction, and the way you live and act will quite
naturally come into alignment with that direction. This does not
need to be taken on as a separate task. The key is direction.
Choose wisely, set your sights on the furthest point in current
view and move out smartly. As Rose used to say, "Keep your
head on it." Such a casual and simple phrase but so
powerful. What are you thinking about? Where is your head? To
modify Jesus a bit: Where your head is, there will your spirit be
also.
The gold that was my
hair has turned
silently to gray. Don’t pity me!
Everything’s been realized,
in my breast all’s blended and attuned.
-- Attuned, as all of distance blends
In the smokestack moaning on the outskirts.
And Lord! A soul’s been realized:
The most deeply secret of your ends.
