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#1528 - Tuesday, August 19, 2003 - Editor: Jerry


NIna
NDS

Lately, nothing.

I come home, shedding work, the highway, the car, my purse and bags. I
bring the dogs in and feed them. I wander aimlessly around my house,
looking for something to do, something to fill the space. I pat the dog
that crosses my path. I pick things up sometimes, look at them, perhaps
move them to another spot. To escape this, I sit at my computer and
dredge up some purpose, like researching every possible thing about any
possible something. It fills the evening until I can justify going to
sleep.

Sometimes, sitting at the computer, my eyes stray above the monitor,
through the double windows beyond my desk, out into the side yard onto
the big oak across the way. It is immense and patient.

Outside, the air is humid, and cold. No, it isn't cold, it just seems
that way; the sky is fading to dusk and conditioned air blows across my
bare feet.

There are streetlights, then fireflies. One sits on my screen,
blinking. This goes on for hours. I know this because I compare the
start and finish times on my screen's digital clock.

There were neighbors here before we moved in, but now there are none.

Just that giant oak tree. When was it planted? The house was built in
1929, probably the storm sewer later than that. It is one of the
largest trees in the neighborhood. When did the storm sewer break and
send the collected waters of storms flooding over the roots of a
growing tree? These are questions, but there are no answers. Only
silence, and rough bark and leaves too numerous to count. It is a face
off, me and the tree. I wait for it to blink.


Nanao Sakaki

Just Enough  

Soil for legs
Axe for hands

Flower for eyes
Bird for ears

Mushrooms for nose

Smile for mouth

Songs for lungs

Sweat for skin
Wind for mind
 


You are hunting power and this is your place,
the place where you will store your resources.

--Carlos Castaneda JOURNEY TO IXTLAN


"Awareness is putting away dishes quietly."

Small sign outside the kitchen door at Yasodhara Ashram .


Jerry

1958 November Photograph

kosher turkey golden
olive radish pickle platter
loganberry wine sweet
hoffman soda
on long narrow table
at Aunt Hessie and Uncle Morris
in Passaic
we smile around the table  Cousin Carl
Cousin Barbara  Cousin Bruce  Aunt Yetta
(who's that sitting next to Aunt Yetta?)
Uncle Benny  Cousin Minnie  Cousin Julie
Aunt Hessie  Uncle Morris  Cousin Barry  Aunt
Dot  Uncle Bernie  Grandma Markel  Grandpa
Markel  Cousin Joanie  my brothers
Jeffrey  David  parents Sarah  Mel
& I  all gathered together
like a ghetto unchained
coursing easy down twilight river

who is that next to Yetta?

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