|DR. ROBERT PUFF|
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Issue #1319 - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 - Editor: michael
I am not laughing at you.
I am not laughing with you.
I am just beside myself with laughter.
Non Duality Salon Highlights and Stuff special humor edition
Don't worry if you can't laugh at yourself and your spiritual quest, plenty of folk are more than willing to help you out.
Bob Rose - Meditation Society of America: email@example.com
laughter too seriously"
Kir Li Molari
"The wise take laughter very seriously"
"Laughter: The Best Medicine"
The Readers Digest
"Dying is easy. Comedy is hard."
Famous actor on his death bed, when asked how he was doing.
The Jaded Monk http://www.thejadedmonk.com/
An irreverent comedy set in a Tibetan style monestary. This is a big download, but well worth the wait. Maybe not...
Buddha Jones http://www.buddhajones.com/
An Interview with Nichiren Daishonin's Tooth
By Brooke St. George
The Onikuge is said to be the living tooth of Nichiren Daishonin (1222-1282). It is revered by some as a relic or sacred remains thought to benefit all beings. The tooth spoke with Brooke St. George via telephone from its residence at Taiseki-ji, the Head Temple of Nichiren Shoshu, located at the base of Mt. Fuji in Japan.
Brooke St. George: Thank you for speaking with me today, Mr. Onikuge. "Living tooth" is indeed a provocative moniker. Can you describe the qualities that set you apart from a dead tooth?
Onikuge: I'm a sensitive, vascular pulp surrounded by dentin and coated on the crown with enamel and on the root with cementum. There's also a bit of healthy gum tissue still attached to me. You don't see that on a dead tooth.
I live. I love. I am.
B St.G: Nichiren passed away more than 700 years ago. Are we to believe that one of his teeth is still alive and well, receiving visitors in Japan?
Onikuge: I can neither confirm nor deny. Didn't my agent go through the whole disclosure agreement thingy with you? It's an article of faith. If people want to believe I'm Nichiren's tooth, who am I to contradict that? I am also a gifted Shakespearean actor.
B St. G: Your agent said that you were the inspiration for the dental hygiene films with the dancing, singing tooth.
Onikuge: It was ultimately a bitter experience. The project was supposed to be a live-action feature-length film. I worked with choreographers and a voice coach for six months. In the end, the lawyers couldn't agree on the back-end deal. They wanted to burn me on residuals. The producers went with an animated tooth instead of me. Ever since then, I've had trouble finding good roles. But it's my craft, you know. My passion. I did dinner theater gigs for a while, but the offers dried up. I got typecast as a bicuspid. That's hard to overcome.
B St.G: Is that when you took up residence at Taiseki-ji?
Onikuge: Look, I don't know how much I'm at liberty to say.
B St. G: Can you speak freely? Do you feel that you are in some kind of jeopardy?
Onikuge: No, it's just, y'know, I feel like a freak. They keep me under glass here. They parade people past me. Everyone wants to gawk. I feel like the Elephant Man. I just want to scream, "I am not enamel -- I am a human tooth!" Y'know, but that would destroy the whole performance, of course. So I just sit here looking holy.
B St.G: You feel exploited?
Onikuge: I do it for my fans. [sniff]
B St.G: Mr. Onikuge, Nichiren once wrote, "The reason why the body and bones of the Buddha can become wish-granting jewels is because the great precept he observed over a period of innumerable kalpas imbued his body with its fragrance and permeated his bones, so that they became jewels capable of saving all beings."
Based on this passage -- and the belief that Nichiren attained Buddhahood -- some people regard you as a wish-granting jewel. Is this a correct view?
Onikuge: That is a somewhat unrealistic expectation to place on a bone-like fragment, even one that can sing and dance like Maurice Chevalier. Look, human beings are the treasure towers described in the Lotus Sutra. These treasure towers house the relics of the Buddha. The relics of the Buddha -- the wish-granting jewels -- are within your own life. You might as well revere your own teeth as much as you revere me.
My agent is going to kill me for saying that. I can hear the contracts being renegotiated as we speak. I'm not a magic charm. I'm a centuries-old tooth who's just trying to make a living.
B St. G.: People make pilgrimages to visit you. Is there no benefit in doing this? Doesn't this bring a person closer to Nichiren Daishonin in some way?
Onikuge: You seem like a nice kid. I don't want to stomp your buzz. I've made some mistakes in my life, but I've always had my integrity. If you want to get close to Nichiren Daishonin, chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo to the Gohonzon. That's how it's done. That is the only pilgrimage you need to make.
B St. G: I appreciate your candor. Is there anything else you'd like to share with our readers?
Onikuge: I miss my jaw. He was always grinding me, the dickens, but he meant well.
Yoga Bloopers http://www.focalpointyoga.com/humor_yoga_bloopers.htm
This page is dedicated to us, the yoga teachers, who have learned patience, humility and to laugh at ourselves, after our little yoga "faux pas."
"As you enter the yoga studio, come in, take off your clothes, and relax. . . "
"Lift your bellybutton away from your naval."
When teaching Kapalabhati breathing: "If you begin to feel faint or dizzy, stop breathing and relax."
more funny stuff at - http://www.allspiritfitness.com/topics/Yoga/YogaFun.shtml
Here is an assortment of spiritually-oriented "Internet" humor, obtained from many and various sundry sources. Most of the authors' names have been lost in cyberspace over the years, so profound regrets if anyone feels unduly honored or slighted about not receiving what they may expect to be their proper degree of respect or disrespect.
Be cautioned that this material may be considered challenging, irritating, inappropriate, outrageous, obscene, irreverent, or even sacrilegious by some people.
Inasmuch as you have been appropriately advised, either have a good day elsewhere in cyberspace, or enjoy!
This page last updated October 27, 2000.
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.
The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"
One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."
Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."
A very wealthy man decided to prove the quote, "You can't take it with you", wrong. Before he died he requested that his gold be buried with him. Sure enough after his death he found himself in heaven along with his gold. He was so excited that he had actually taken it with him. He went up to St. Peter to enter the gates and exclaimed "Look at this, you can take it with you." Peter looked at the gold in the mans hand and asked "Why would you want to bring pavement with you?"
Dharma The Cat
Cartoons that blend humour & spirituality --
on the rocky path to nirvana with a Buddhist cat,
a novice monk and a mouse hell-bent on cheese.
Dharma The Cat offers Eastern Philosopny, Buddhism,
Spiritual Development, personal stories, articles
and anecdotes about coping with life, and lots
of Humour -- of the thoughtful kind!
more jokes and funny stuff can be found by doing a google search on "spiritual humor"
hahaha! and hohoho!
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|DR. ROBERT PUFF|